Neighbor girl comes over everyday to play, every day

[Anonymous]

She comes over and will come over because she thinks it's ok. It's really not fair *of you* to not tell her it's not ok. You don't tell her, and then you fault her.

[Anonymous]

Why is this a big deal? My neighborhood friends and I played all the time after school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this a big deal? My neighborhood friends and I played all the time after school.

That was your setup. I grew up in a house where it was a Very Big Deal for anyone other than the four of us to cross the threshold. It was a huge event. I had friends over fewer than a dozen times in 20 years of living there. I didn't live in a neighborhood where kids roamed the streets and just randomly knocked on doors to ask if a kid who lived there could play. You called the person's house and made a plan. (In my case, the plan was never for them to come to my house.)

[Anonymous]

I use to show up at my friends house, I'm sure more than they wanted! I remember on a Saturday being told, at the door, not until 10am. But I only had to be told "the rule" once. Ok, maybe twice. At most. I didn't want the adult mad at me. No kid does. But you have to be the adult. Know what you want and be a figure of authority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this a big deal? My neighborhood friends and I played all the time after school.

That was your setup. I grew up in a house where it was a Very Big Deal for anyone other than the four of us to cross the threshold. It was a huge event. I had friends over fewer than a dozen times in 20 years of living there. I didn't live in a neighborhood where kids roamed the streets and just randomly knocked on doors to ask if a kid who lived there could play. You called the person's house and made a plan. (In my case, the plan was never for them to come to my house.)

Can you do an AMA thread? What was this like as a child? Why was it such a big deal to heave friends over? Do you feel like this affected you positively? Negativity? So curious because we were an open-door family and I strive to make our home that way now. Would love to hear the flip side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this a big deal? My neighborhood friends and I played all the time after school.

That was your setup. I grew up in a house where it was a Very Big Deal for anyone other than the four of us to cross the threshold. It was a huge event. I had friends over fewer than a dozen times in 20 years of living there. I didn't live in a neighborhood where kids roamed the streets and just randomly knocked on doors to ask if a kid who lived there could play. You called the person's house and made a plan. (In my case, the plan was never for them to come to my house.)

And you liked that? That seems…extreme.

[Anonymous]

Why re-open this 5-year old thread?

[Anonymous]

Id set days - Larla can come over MWF, but not Tu or Thur.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't commit to days. I would tell her "They can't play today, go home Larla."

So weird. Why did this person revive a 5 year old thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this a big deal? My neighborhood friends and I played all the time after school.

That was your setup. I grew up in a house where it was a Very Big Deal for anyone other than the four of us to cross the threshold. It was a huge event. I had friends over fewer than a dozen times in 20 years of living there. I didn't live in a neighborhood where kids roamed the streets and just randomly knocked on doors to ask if a kid who lived there could play. You called the person's house and made a plan. (In my case, the plan was never for them to come to my house.)

Can you do an AMA thread? What was this like as a child? Why was it such a big deal to heave friends over? Do you feel like this affected you positively? Negativity? So curious because we were an open-door family and I strive to make our home that way now. Would love to hear the flip side.

It was normal as a child, because it was all I knew. I don't know WHY exactly this was how our house ran, just that it did. One time my dad had a coworker coming over to do some work and we had to clean the entry way, the downstairs bathroom, and vacuum and dust the living room and dining room. It was very exciting. Then, once the guy arrived we weren't allowed in the living room or dining room and had to stay very quiet. For a couple of years, I used to walk to school with this girl Sara who walked right by our house on her way. So we'd walk together. One day she arrived and asked to use the bathroom so I let her in. When I got home from school my mother was furious that I hadn't asked permission.

In order to have a friend over I had to provide my mom with answers to these questions: when would they arrive? when would they leave? How will they get here? how will they get home? what will you do while you're together (the phrase 'hang out' was totally unacceptable which to my mom I think meant 'do drugs and have sex' even at six years old)? So then I'd have to ask my mom "Well, will YOU drive me to Rachel's?" and then she'd say she had to think about it and not give me an answer until after the day when I'd been invited over had passed. So it was very hard to get a playdate to actually happen. One time a friend DID come over and my mom had pre-approved the board games I'd suggested my friend and I would play. But I'd left the closet with all the board games open and when my friend saw that she picked a different game she wanted. So we played that. After she left, I got in trouble for lying about what we'd been doing and not having permission. It wasn't like we played Coke and Whores instead of Monopoly, but more like we played Monopoly instead of Life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she possibly hungry or abused? This is strange behavior. I’m more concerned about her.

Maybe a call to social services?

Good lord no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for this little girl. Obviously she does not like being at home for some reason, OP.

You sound selfish. Glad you don't live near me.

NP. You sound like a parent who has no problem foisting your child off on others.

[Anonymous]

This is why it is so exhausting GenX parenting a young kid around millennial parents. OP is a horrible neighbor and role model for young girls. Yikes. Just tell the parents you are uptight and horrible and hate other children who are not your own, and because of your lack of a moral compass, tears don’t motivate you - you just fantasize about hitting her. Then tell your kids you hate this kid and she’s not allowed to come to your house. Whole generations of neighborhood children did after school play dates every day without invoking social services. FFS. We’re in the city where we have to hyper schedule after school activities b/c kids can’t walk alone. Would love it if neighborhood kids would come over and play without screens. Slamming door in a six year olds face. Sick stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this a big deal? My neighborhood friends and I played all the time after school.

That was your setup. I grew up in a house where it was a Very Big Deal for anyone other than the four of us to cross the threshold. It was a huge event. I had friends over fewer than a dozen times in 20 years of living there. I didn't live in a neighborhood where kids roamed the streets and just randomly knocked on doors to ask if a kid who lived there could play. You called the person's house and made a plan. (In my case, the plan was never for them to come to my house.)

Can you do an AMA thread? What was this like as a child? Why was it such a big deal to heave friends over? Do you feel like this affected you positively? Negativity? So curious because we were an open-door family and I strive to make our home that way now. Would love to hear the flip side.

It was normal as a child, because it was all I knew. I don't know WHY exactly this was how our house ran, just that it did. One time my dad had a coworker coming over to do some work and we had to clean the entry way, the downstairs bathroom, and vacuum and dust the living room and dining room. It was very exciting. Then, once the guy arrived we weren't allowed in the living room or dining room and had to stay very quiet. For a couple of years, I used to walk to school with this girl Sara who walked right by our house on her way. So we'd walk together. One day she arrived and asked to use the bathroom so I let her in. When I got home from school my mother was furious that I hadn't asked permission.

In order to have a friend over I had to provide my mom with answers to these questions: when would they arrive? when would they leave? How will they get here? how will they get home? what will you do while you're together (the phrase 'hang out' was totally unacceptable which to my mom I think meant 'do drugs and have sex' even at six years old)? So then I'd have to ask my mom "Well, will YOU drive me to Rachel's?" and then she'd say she had to think about it and not give me an answer until after the day when I'd been invited over had passed. So it was very hard to get a playdate to actually happen. One time a friend DID come over and my mom had pre-approved the board games I'd suggested my friend and I would play. But I'd left the closet with all the board games open and when my friend saw that she picked a different game she wanted. So we played that. After she left, I got in trouble for lying about what we'd been doing and not having permission. It wasn't like we played Coke and Whores instead of Monopoly, but more like we played Monopoly instead of Life.

This sounds like a reason to call CPS /jk

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this a big deal? My neighborhood friends and I played all the time after school.

That was your setup. I grew up in a house where it was a Very Big Deal for anyone other than the four of us to cross the threshold. It was a huge event. I had friends over fewer than a dozen times in 20 years of living there. I didn't live in a neighborhood where kids roamed the streets and just randomly knocked on doors to ask if a kid who lived there could play. You called the person's house and made a plan. (In my case, the plan was never for them to come to my house.)

Can you do an AMA thread? What was this like as a child? Why was it such a big deal to heave friends over? Do you feel like this affected you positively? Negativity? So curious because we were an open-door family and I strive to make our home that way now. Would love to hear the flip side.

It was normal as a child, because it was all I knew. I don't know WHY exactly this was how our house ran, just that it did. One time my dad had a coworker coming over to do some work and we had to clean the entry way, the downstairs bathroom, and vacuum and dust the living room and dining room. It was very exciting. Then, once the guy arrived we weren't allowed in the living room or dining room and had to stay very quiet. For a couple of years, I used to walk to school with this girl Sara who walked right by our house on her way. So we'd walk together. One day she arrived and asked to use the bathroom so I let her in. When I got home from school my mother was furious that I hadn't asked permission.

In order to have a friend over I had to provide my mom with answers to these questions: when would they arrive? when would they leave? How will they get here? how will they get home? what will you do while you're together (the phrase 'hang out' was totally unacceptable which to my mom I think meant 'do drugs and have sex' even at six years old)? So then I'd have to ask my mom "Well, will YOU drive me to Rachel's?" and then she'd say she had to think about it and not give me an answer until after the day when I'd been invited over had passed. So it was very hard to get a playdate to actually happen. One time a friend DID come over and my mom had pre-approved the board games I'd suggested my friend and I would play. But I'd left the closet with all the board games open and when my friend saw that she picked a different game she wanted. So we played that. After she left, I got in trouble for lying about what we'd been doing and not having permission. It wasn't like we played Coke and Whores instead of Monopoly, but more like we played Monopoly instead of Life.

Were your parents mentally ill? That is not normal at all