double standard for girls and boys..but I can't help it

[Anonymous]

My 14 yr old just called me now at 9:45pm to tell me he and his friends want to go get ice cream after watching the football game at his HS. I made sure I knew who he was with, and exactly where they are going, etc..and he checks in every so often via text.

But I was just saying to my DH that if this was our DD at 14, I would've said no, and he agrees.

Total double standard, and I remember my parents having this kind of double standard for me and my brother when I was a teenager.

But, I can't help it.. I wouldn't want my DD at 14 out and about at this time of night with just a couple of her female friends. She's got a few years to reach 14, but oiy, I can see .. this is gonna be tough.

[Anonymous]

She will be out getting ice cram at 15 at 9pm! Unless you are a total psycho.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She will be out getting ice cram at 15 at 9pm! Unless you are a total psycho.

It's closer to 10pm than 9pm. My curfew at 14 was 9pm. My parent were not psycho, and I did not rebel. - OP

[Anonymous]

This odd how it was with my parents when my brother and I were growing up.

The double standard just made me become very sneaky and a liar.

[Anonymous]

I have B/G twins so I usually try and get my son to meet up with my daughter when it gets late. But my husband did just spend 90 minutes in an Applebees parking lot a few weeks ago when my daughter and 3 other 15/16 year olds went to have appetizers and milkshakes after a school play rehearsal at 9:30. She drives so she drove there and home. DH literally just stayed in the parking lot as a compromise because he wasn't allowed to go in and sit at the bar. "INSIDE IS NOT ALLOWED DAD, PLEASE GOD NO".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She will be out getting ice cram at 15 at 9pm! Unless you are a total psycho.

It's closer to 10pm than 9pm. My curfew at 14 was 9pm. My parent were not psycho, and I did not rebel. - OP

Well you just jinxed yourself. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

???

My 14 year old son is introverted, and prefers reading inside, or playing video games, but going outside with friends at night has just never occurred to him. I would feel quite worried if he did! Same for my daughter.

Neither my husband nor myself did that sort of thing either at that age. I was allowed to go out at night with friends in college. We lived in a capital city in Europe, and my friends and I lived at home while attending college, like many continental Europeans.

[Anonymous]

Since boys are not girls, it is not a "double standard".

[Anonymous]

“I can’t help it” is what my six year old says after misbehaving. You CAN help it and you should. You’re being unfair and punishing your DD because of risks unique to girls and women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She will be out getting ice cram at 15 at 9pm! Unless you are a total psycho.

It's closer to 10pm than 9pm. My curfew at 14 was 9pm. My parent were not psycho, and I did not rebel. - OP

I am just laughing so hard OP. If she has any spirit, she will be twisting you up and down. Why are you such a bigot?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
???

My 14 year old son is introverted, and prefers reading inside, or playing video games, but going outside with friends at night has just never occurred to him. I would feel quite worried if he did! Same for my daughter.

Neither my husband nor myself did that sort of thing either at that age. I was allowed to go out at night with friends in college. We lived in a capital city in Europe, and my friends and I lived at home while attending college, like many continental Europeans.

That sort of thing?! Watching your HS football game and getting ice cream? You would be worried if they went for ice cream?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
???

My 14 year old son is introverted, and prefers reading inside, or playing video games, but going outside with friends at night has just never occurred to him. I would feel quite worried if he did! Same for my daughter.

Neither my husband nor myself did that sort of thing either at that age. I was allowed to go out at night with friends in college. We lived in a capital city in Europe, and my friends and I lived at home while attending college, like many continental Europeans.

That sort of thing?! Watching your HS football game and getting ice cream? You would be worried if they went for ice cream?!

In the dark, yes, particularly regarding car accidents. You probably think I'm crazy. I suppose if he was in a group of trusted friends, and the site was well lit, it wouldn't be a problem.

I'm just realizing that I've never thought about these things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
???

My 14 year old son is introverted, and prefers reading inside, or playing video games, but going outside with friends at night has just never occurred to him. I would feel quite worried if he did! Same for my daughter.

Neither my husband nor myself did that sort of thing either at that age. I was allowed to go out at night with friends in college. We lived in a capital city in Europe, and my friends and I lived at home while attending college, like many continental Europeans.

That sort of thing?! Watching your HS football game and getting ice cream? You would be worried if they went for ice cream?!

In the dark, yes, particularly regarding car accidents. You probably think I'm crazy. I suppose if he was in a group of trusted friends, and the site was well lit, it wouldn't be a problem.

I'm just realizing that I've never thought about these things.

Are you in the DMV? And not in "soon to be America" Greenland? If you are here, you better start thinking about it, those kids that are happy to read Pride and Prejudice at home as teens, are too few...Seriously, let your kid live, before she and you know it, she will be in college and then working and having kids. Talk about ruining her teen years. And for what? So she can hate you for decades to come? Because that's what kids do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
???

My 14 year old son is introverted, and prefers reading inside, or playing video games, but going outside with friends at night has just never occurred to him. I would feel quite worried if he did! Same for my daughter.

Neither my husband nor myself did that sort of thing either at that age. I was allowed to go out at night with friends in college. We lived in a capital city in Europe, and my friends and I lived at home while attending college, like many continental Europeans.

That sort of thing?! Watching your HS football game and getting ice cream? You would be worried if they went for ice cream?!

In the dark, yes, particularly regarding car accidents. You probably think I'm crazy. I suppose if he was in a group of trusted friends, and the site was well lit, it wouldn't be a problem.

I'm just realizing that I've never thought about these things.

Are you in the DMV? And not in "soon to be America" Greenland? If you are here, you better start thinking about it, those kids that are happy to read Pride and Prejudice at home as teens, are too few...Seriously, let your kid live, before she and you know it, she will be in college and then working and having kids. Talk about ruining her teen years. And for what? So she can hate you for decades to come? Because that's what kids do.

I'm in Bethesda, and no, I don't hate my parents for not allowing me to go out at night in high school, I wouldn't have liked it and my friends didn't do it either, so there wouldn't have been a group to go with. Please understand that your normal is not other people's normal. I don't worry about my children resenting me, I don't worry about ruining my children's teen years. Why, do yours live for going out at night? My 14 year old does not. If he did, or our daughter did, we would certainly do our best to find a safe solution. As I said, I didn't realize until I read this thread that this is what some 14 year olds did here! He has never asked to do this, probably because his friends don't to this either (yet?).

[Anonymous]

Amish?