double standard for girls and boys..but I can't help it

[Anonymous]

OP, frankly I'm shocked you are so lax about your DS's safety and well being, given the statistics of boys who die from accidents/drugs etc. before they reach 20 vs. girls. Of the kids from my high school I know of who died before that age -- I can think of 4 off the bat -- they were all boys.

Never mind the fighting, risky behavior, and breaking the law. You may think your boy is good, with good friends, and would never get into trouble. But we all know that the male brain doesn't mature as quickly as the female and boys do stupid, risky things even when they are "good" boys. And even if your kid is uncommonly mature for a boy, that doesn't mean his friends are. Or the other boys they meet while out of your sight.

Keep him inside until he's 20. Otherwise you are basically telling him that his life isn't as valuable as his sister's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Does your husband have an anxiety disorder?

I wondered the same thing. So you have a 16 year old high school junior with a driver's license and a car, but her dad follows her around on a Friday night in his own car and sits outside the teen hangout? Maybe I missed something but that seems odd. Is he just there to drive the other kids home or is your teen in need of a body guard for some reason?


I'm surprised that no one has chimed in to say that their teen would never ask to go out for ice cream because they have been raised to make sound nutritional decisions for themselves.

Did your daughter’s friends know her dad was stalking them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not about getting ice cream after a football game. It's about treating boys and girls differently....at night. There are a lot more situations where girls can be victimized. There are some boys out there that do not respect boundaries. I understand where OP is coming from as a father of two DD's. The consequences of a negative experience is far greater as a girl than for boys, not in all cases but in general.

ITD. Boys are far more likely to get in fights, beat up or arrested.

Plus 1

lol.. my DS is on the short side and doesn't like getting physical. I suppose things could change in the future, but right now, he hasn't even hit puberty yet, and he's a nerd. Getting into fights or arrested is certainly not really something I am overly concerned about for DS, though of course, we have had talks about staying out of trouble and not hanging out with other kids who will get him into trouble. Getting beat up, maybe. I could see that given how small he is which is why when he's out at night, I make sure he's part of a group.

No offence but you are so mistaken on this. The boys who are smaller and look like easy pickings are more likely to be targeted for a fight.

I would like to remind you all that all this about girls being more vulnerable is really talking about rape - you are worried your dd will be sexually assaulted. The great majority of sexual assaults are committed by people the victim already knows. Girls are only SLIGHTLY more likely to be sexually assaulted than boys.

Pay attention to where your boys are too, and check your sexism at the door. If you are comfortable with the risk your son takes then it should be fine for your dd too. If it isn't going to be okay for your dd, then don't let your son do it either.

Indeed.. which is why I would be more hesitant for DD to be out, even with a group of friends.

What source are you using regarding a high rate of sexual assault of boys?

I read somewhere that 1 out of every 16 girls first sexual encounter will be from rape. That's scary AF to me.

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/health/1-in-16-u-s-women-say-their-first-sexual-intercourse-was-rape

One out of five women and one out of 71 men will be raped in their lifetime, according to the CDC’s 2010 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey.

That statistic does not indicate that girls are only SLIGHTLY more likely to be sexually assaulted than boys.

That statistic is about rape and adults, not sexual assault and boys and girls.
One in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually abused before they turn 18 years old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dad sitting outside of Applebee's even though DD is driving? Why? That is borderline creepy!

agree 100%

[Anonymous]

So basically generational patriarchy reinforcement. That's how it works folks! OP think she is out of norm because her mom told her she doesn't know where she gets her fearfulness, so while OP might be "ok" she certainly got the message that women are weak and should not be strong. She is now doing the same to her dd that her mom did to her. God forbid reason kicks in, and she says "my anxious child wants to go out with friends for ice cream! Yay, I am so happy for her." Nope, instead, the message is, you are weak and you can't do anything on your own.