Letting kids ahead of you in the bathroom line?
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Anonymous
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So- looking for the crowd's feedback here. I feel half guilty that I should have done something differently, and half annoyed at the rude b*tch.
Was at a children's museum today. In the one preschool-aged kids play area (which is enclosed- kids can't escape- but is moderately large, so you definitely can't see or hear them unless you're nearby), there is one bathroom that's a single "family" stall with a changing table, etc. Other restrooms are located pretty much on the other side of the museum. My 4 year old was playing and my 5 month old had a super dirty diaper. I went over to the bathroom but it was occupied so I waited outside the door. It took a good 7 full minutes before the mom and her kid came out of it (zero judgement on the amount of time they were in there- just giving context to how long I was waiting with the baby while my 4 year old was off playing, out of sight from me). The door opened and they started to emerge, and then a little girl (3? close to 4?) ran up in front of the line and grabbed the handle and said to no one in particular (I'm assuming her mom was nearby), "I'm going to the bathroom!" What would you have done? This is what I did- I paused and looked around, and luckily I heard a woman's voice call out "Evelyn! There's a line!" to which the little girl looked at me but kept walking in. I continued to stand there- didn't push her away or anything crazy, I would have just let her go if she'd kept walking in. I heard the voice call again more firmly for "Evelyn" to wait. The girl backed off, at which point I took the door handle, and as I walked in I smiled at her and said "don't worry we'll be quick". I then proceeded to start to change my fussing 5 month old's gigantic dirty diaper. The entire time, I can hear this woman outside of the door going to her mom friend "I cannot BELIEVE she just did that. I give her 30 seconds before I bang on that door and shame her." I did a double take in the bathroom- like, wait what? But kept (quickly) changing my kid. I actually had to pee also but I had already planned on waiting until later since I knew the little girl was waiting. I hear her repeat the same thing- about how i had 30 seconds before she was going to give me a piece of her mind or whatever. So I open the door (poop diaper in hand) and say- "so I can hear you? And if she needs to go really badly she can come in with us. But I need to finish up and get back to my older child." and the woman goes "YES, SHE DOES HAVE TO GO BADLY, THANK YOU" and the girl came into the bathroom with me. I felt a little uncomfortable but she was independent and i figured- whatever, I'm almost done, and if she has to go she has to go. So I finish up and the girl is still in there so I walk out and hold the door a little bit and say to the woman "I'm finished, if you want to go in there with her now" and the woman looks at me and says in the same harsh tone "she isn't my kid". Ummmm, what???? You gave some random 3 or 4 year old permission to go into the bathroom with a stranger???? Not to mention how indignant that you were that I'd gone to the bathroom when she also walked up and had to go... but she wasn't even yours?? At this point the girls mom walks up, totally friendly, and is like "oh she's mine! I'm so sorry, and thank you!!" and i walked off and that was it. So... I guess the TL  R version is, was I totally out of line to not let this girl go ahead of me? Even though I'd been waiting for quite a while, my baby was fussing about his diaper, and my 4 year old was off on his own waiting for us? Is it an unspoken rule that I should always let kids go first?
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Anonymous
| (sorry I meant to write TLDR, don't know how the emoji got in there...) |
Anonymous
| I am with you. I think you did better than most people... let it go. Bit*hes are all over. |
Anonymous
| That entire encounter was strange, OP. Yes, I do usually let kids go in front of me, but you also had a kid/baby with you. And for a woman (a friend?) to let a girl go in with you? That's bizarre. Even if she were the girl's mother, it would be bizarre. Even more bizarre that she was not the girl's mother. |
Anonymous
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That is a weird story OP.
To answer your question, I would have let the little girl go first. A lot of times they've just recently potty trained and can't hold it. And an accident would not only inconvenience the girl and her parents, but likely everyone else at the location. I've been at one of those places where someone had an accident and they had to clear the whole room out and it was pretty annoying. |
Anonymous
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I would have let her go if just I needed to pee, but if my infant had a gross poopy diaper, nope.
You're fine, that woman was out of line. |
Anonymous
Looking back I think it was a mom friend of the girl's mother because I could swear that the b*tchy woman was the one who used the girl's name asking her to wait. But there were tons of moms there with kids, obviously, so it could have been her own mother. But yeah the fact that she told someone else's kid to come into the bathroom with me seemed so bizarre!! (I mean I know I offered- in case it was an emergency- but I assumed it was her own child!!) |
Anonymous
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I would've let them know about the other bathrooms, and then I would've taken an extra long time if they chose not to heed that advice.
So strange that she went in there with you. |
Anonymous
That's what I was debating after the fact. My older child has always been great at holding it in when needed, but I know not every kid is like that. I think I was just in the mindframe of, I've been waiting here forever and God knows what my older child is up to in the play area right now. But in other circumstances I would have let her go ahead of me (no poop diaper, my older kid is with me and not off somewhere) |
Anonymous
| I might have troat-punched the bi*ch outside but that is the only thing I would have done differently. |
Anonymous
| You were fine. You had your own extenuating circumstances. |
Anonymous
Right??? I mean I know little kids don't have any privacy boundaries like that but it still felt a little weird to have a stranger's kid in the bathroom with me, pants down and all. But I guess that was my fault for offering. |
Anonymous
| I never let kids go in front of me. They need to learn that the world doesn’t revolve around them and to wait their turn. |
Anonymous
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This whole situation is totally bizarre. I would have told the woman "I have to change this diaper, and I won't be long. We've been waiting a very long time."
BUT in usual situations, if there's a kid (any age under 10) who is directly behind me in line, I always ask if they want to go first. Most of the time they decline, but I think small kindnesses and courtesies are important to display. |
Anonymous
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I would let a kid doing the pee pee dance in ahead of me, even with a poop diaper. Poop diaper isn’t a crisis, what’s another few minutes?
If the kid isn’t doing the pee pee dance I might not let them ahead of me. |