Letting kids ahead of you in the bathroom line?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I wouldn't have let any random kid go first. My kid comes first. End of story. Also, I sure as hell would never invite some random kid into the washroom with me, no thank you. They can wait like everyone else.

In retrospect I'm a little concerned that I even did that (say the kid could come in if it were an emergency). I did think it was the crazy woman's own kid, but even worse that it WASN'T! I mean I'm obviously harmless (obviously to me, that is) but people in our society are too weird about that stuff sometimes. And if I'm being perfectly honest I didn't think the girl would really come in- I mainly wanted to open the door to let the crazy mom know that I could hear her loud and clear and make her feel uncomfortable. But I didn't mind the girl coming in, per say.

Let the entire incident go, but take today as your opportunity to learn that it’s per se.

Always happy to learn something new! I'm clearly not an English major. Or, apparently, very well read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine a 3 year old running off to a public restroom and trying to go in alone. My kids would not have known the first thing about doing that or would have wanted to at age 3. All of the behavior from the kid and the adult with her was strange. Also those places are vile. I would not take an infant to one, but I guess you were going for the older one!

Yeah. Gotta love preschools/ daycares being closed at the end of August. We needed to get out and do something. And the girl might have been 4, not 3 (which makes it weird in my opinion that she coudln't hold it for a few minutes if she were as old as 4, but again, whatever, she clearly had to go if she was willing to come in with a stranger)

I’m just saying my girls would have never run to a bathroom and tried to go in without me, and they wouldn’t have gone in with a stranger. But, I constantly tell them not to trust anyone so no big surprise. Judge away, but they are nice and cautious in middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have let the girl go if I was changing a diaper. An extra minute is no big deal.

Different story if my young child had to go. My youngest is only 2 and not potty trained. I remember those days when my big kids were younger. Strangers let them cut when they did the pee pee dance.

But in this story, the child with the poopy diaper had already been waiting and crying for a little while, whereas the little girl had just then decided to come up and use the bathroom. Why shouldn't the little girl wait for one extra minute on top of the zero minutes she had already waited, as opposed to the baby waiting an extra minute on top of the 10 or so minutes he/she had already waited uncomfortably?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is a weird story OP.

To answer your question, I would have let the little girl go first. A lot of times they've just recently potty trained and can't hold it. And an accident would not only inconvenience the girl and her parents, but likely everyone else at the location.

I've been at one of those places where someone had an accident and they had to clear the whole room out and it was pretty annoying.

That's what I was debating after the fact. My older child has always been great at holding it in when needed, but I know not every kid is like that. I think I was just in the mindframe of, I've been waiting here forever and God knows what my older child is up to in the play area right now. But in other circumstances I would have let her go ahead of me (no poop diaper, my older kid is with me and not off somewhere)

It seems like the girl's mom wasn't concerned, though. I have a 3yo in the middle of potty training and I'd be watching her body language like a hawk and communicate that to the mom in your position if my DD had to go right. now.

It really creeps me out that another mom got into the middle of the situation and made a parenting decision for that girl. I know women not in the company of men are extremely unlikely to offend against children, but I would lose it if some other person made a decision to let my child into a bathroom with another adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would let a kid doing the pee pee dance in ahead of me, even with a poop diaper. Poop diaper isn’t a crisis, what’s another few minutes?

If the kid isn’t doing the pee pee dance I might not let them ahead of me.

+1. I would have let the little girl go ahead. An extra 60 seconds will not make a difference to the poop diaper. The only time I wouldn’t let a kid ahead is if I am taking my own kid doing a pee dance to the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

Basically you don’t realize how nuts people are until you have kids. People are weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will usually let a little kid go ahead of me if they are in line behind me and really really have to go. In your case, she ran in from out of nowhere so I probably would’ve done the same as you except I would not have acknowledged the crazy women.

+1 Don't give the crazy women the satisfaction of a response. Let them say whatever they want and then walk past with a smile on your face. It always makes me laugh when women pull the bitch card because I give zero f's what they think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is a weird story OP.

To answer your question, I would have let the little girl go first. A lot of times they've just recently potty trained and can't hold it. And an accident would not only inconvenience the girl and her parents, but likely everyone else at the location.

I've been at one of those places where someone had an accident and they had to clear the whole room out and it was pretty annoying.

That's what I was debating after the fact. My older child has always been great at holding it in when needed, but I know not every kid is like that. I think I was just in the mindframe of, I've been waiting here forever and God knows what my older child is up to in the play area right now. But in other circumstances I would have let her go ahead of me (no poop diaper, my older kid is with me and not off somewhere)

It seems like the girl's mom wasn't concerned, though. I have a 3yo in the middle of potty training and I'd be watching her body language like a hawk and communicate that to the mom in your position if my DD had to go right. now.

It really creeps me out that another mom got into the middle of the situation and made a parenting decision for that girl. I know women not in the company of men are extremely unlikely to offend against children, but I would lose it if some other person made a decision to let my child into a bathroom with another adult.

Exactly. Although like I said in retrospect I think the families new eachother. There was a multi family group of Jewish moms and kids there and I believe they both belonged to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have let the girl go if I was changing a diaper. An extra minute is no big deal.

Different story if my young child had to go. My youngest is only 2 and not potty trained. I remember those days when my big kids were younger. Strangers let them cut when they did the pee pee dance.

But in this story, the child with the poopy diaper had already been waiting and crying for a little while, whereas the little girl had just then decided to come up and use the bathroom. Why shouldn't the little girl wait for one extra minute on top of the zero minutes she had already waited, as opposed to the baby waiting an extra minute on top of the 10 or so minutes he/she had already waited uncomfortably?

I completely agree. Plus, there were other bathrooms for a real emergency.

Is it a nice gesture to allow a child ahead of you, sure. But there are a million reasons someone else might also need to go NOW, and if they’ve been waiting, they have every right to go ahead of the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have let the girl go if I was changing a diaper. An extra minute is no big deal.

Different story if my young child had to go. My youngest is only 2 and not potty trained. I remember those days when my big kids were younger. Strangers let them cut when they did the pee pee dance.

But in this story, the child with the poopy diaper had already been waiting and crying for a little while, whereas the little girl had just then decided to come up and use the bathroom. Why shouldn't the little girl wait for one extra minute on top of the zero minutes she had already waited, as opposed to the baby waiting an extra minute on top of the 10 or so minutes he/she had already waited uncomfortably?

I completely agree. Plus, there were other bathrooms for a real emergency.

Is it a nice gesture to allow a child ahead of you, sure. But there are a million reasons someone else might also need to go NOW, and if they’ve been waiting, they have every right to go ahead of the child.

To be fair the other bathrooms are a bit of a hike and you’d have to exit the closed off preschooler play area to get to them. Most people just wait and use the one in this play room if they are already in the play room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Basically you don’t realize how nuts people are until you have kids. People are weird.

This is the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Basically you don’t realize how nuts people are until you have kids. People are weird.

This is the truth.

I think there are people who can keep their crazy in check, and once they have kids, since we all feel so much more protective over our kids than ourselves.... they just let that sh*t out and it’s like whoa I didn’t realize you were so unbalanced!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t your young daughter need to pee too, or were you alone with the baby?

If I was only changing a diaper, I would have let the one child go ahead. If the older child had to go too, too bad so sad. The little stranger could wait.

Regardless, the woman speaking was horribly rude, and no way would I have let a strange child in with me, I would have also taken the time to pee myself. That’s why they have other bathrooms.

My 4 year old did not have to pee so it was just the diaper. My main hurry was that my 4 year old was off playing and I hadn't laid eyes on him in 5-10min since the line was taking forever. (That, and my baby was crying from the diaper obviously)

I don’t blame you then. You were more than generous. If I were the mom of the pee pee girl, I’d be livid that a friend let her in a locked bathroom with a stranger. Woman, baby or not.

[Anonymous]

Like you, I'd have been super nervous about the kid I hadn't checked on in ten minutes and would have gone ahead when given the opportunity. You did exactly the right thing, including calling out the rude woman who intervened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is a weird story OP.

To answer your question, I would have let the little girl go first. A lot of times they've just recently potty trained and can't hold it. And an accident would not only inconvenience the girl and her parents, but likely everyone else at the location.

I've been at one of those places where someone had an accident and they had to clear the whole room out and it was pretty annoying.

That's what I was debating after the fact. My older child has always been great at holding it in when needed, but I know not every kid is like that. I think I was just in the mindframe of, I've been waiting here forever and God knows what my older child is up to in the play area right now. But in other circumstances I would have let her go ahead of me (no poop diaper, my older kid is with me and not off somewhere)

It seems like the girl's mom wasn't concerned, though. I have a 3yo in the middle of potty training and I'd be watching her body language like a hawk and communicate that to the mom in your position if my DD had to go right. now.

It really creeps me out that another mom got into the middle of the situation and made a parenting decision for that girl. I know women not in the company of men are extremely unlikely to offend against children, but I would lose it if some other person made a decision to let my child into a bathroom with another adult.

Exactly. Although like I said in retrospect I think the families new eachother. There was a multi family group of Jewish moms and kids there and I believe they both belonged to it.

I'm on OP's side, but why the description of "Jewish moms". Do they parent differently from agnostic moms? Catholic moms? That is unnecessary.
--relapsed catholic mom, married to secular Jewish dad, with one awesome interfaith kid.