OMG - New preschool cliques... the moms!

[Anonymous]

My DD has been in daycare since she was 8 weeks old, so I'm not a newbie, but we switched centers and this new preschool is crazy. They are 3 years old, and there are 4 girls in the class who are definitely a clique. That's fine, but we went to one of their bday parties this weekend and all 4, plus their moms, were in matching outfits. So of course they are all taking pics together, leaving my DD out, which did suck. They seem to hang out every weekend and at the party were talking about everyone coming over to swim afterwards (we weren't invited). On the way home, my DD was asking if we were going to Larla's house to swim... I had to say no and we got ice cream.

I'm a confident, high earning 30 year old and I can't believe I'm feeling weirdly insecure about this! I get that it's hard to break into an established group of friends, but at THREE years old shouldnt everyone be included?

[Anonymous]

Do you point out that you are "high earning" when you meet other moms?

[Anonymous]

How matching are we talking about here for the mom outfits? Like they all wore blue or they all wore the exact same Lilly Pulitzer dress? How weird I think this is depends on your answer.

Generally I get why you feel left out, but at least you were invited to the party!

[Anonymous]

yeah this sucks. this is why i moved out of Alexandria, i lived on the perfect block but was tired of feeling bad about myself, like an uncool eighth grader. i made an effort, i invited people to our house, i had good halloween candy, etc. but still was not in the core group. then when my 3 and 4 year olds wondered why they weren’t invited to the birthday party with jumpy houses across the street, and clearly everyone fro:the block was there but us, i was like “f. you, cliquey moms” and decided to just find a better fit elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:yeah this sucks. this is why i moved out of Alexandria, i lived on the perfect block but was tired of feeling bad about myself, like an uncool eighth grader. i made an effort, i invited people to our house, i had good halloween candy, etc. but still was not in the core group. then when my 3 and 4 year olds wondered why they weren’t invited to the birthday party with jumpy houses across the street, and clearly everyone fro:the block was there but us, i was like “f. you, cliquey moms” and decided to just find a better fit elsewhere.

Belle Haven?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How matching are we talking about here for the mom outfits? Like they all wore blue or they all wore the exact same Lilly Pulitzer dress? How weird I think this is depends on your answer.

Generally I get why you feel left out, but at least you were invited to the party!

Not really, if they're going to talk about an after-party to which other guests are not invited. You don't talk about events to which others are not invited in front of them, that's politeness 101. If I were OP, I'd almost rather she not be invited if they're going to do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How matching are we talking about here for the mom outfits? Like they all wore blue or they all wore the exact same Lilly Pulitzer dress? How weird I think this is depends on your answer.

Generally I get why you feel left out, but at least you were invited to the party!

OP here. They literally all had on the exact same print yoga pant and same black shirt with print "lets party". All moms and all of their daughters matched. It was just kind of sad to be left out like that. I haven't experienced that in a long time! I know its petty and not a big deal, but it did hurt and i was surprised we are making cliques at age THREE

[Anonymous]

I would laugh so hard. These are adults trying to relive their mean girl days - and it's so pathetic. Think Romy and Michelle.

I would look for friends elsewhere-- this is not the group I would want to spend my free time with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How matching are we talking about here for the mom outfits? Like they all wore blue or they all wore the exact same Lilly Pulitzer dress? How weird I think this is depends on your answer.

Generally I get why you feel left out, but at least you were invited to the party!

OP here. They literally all had on the exact same print yoga pant and same black shirt with print "lets party". All moms and all of their daughters matched. It was just kind of sad to be left out like that. I haven't experienced that in a long time! I know its petty and not a big deal, but it did hurt and i was surprised we are making cliques at age THREE

I cannot express how comically lame they sound! OP, don't feel bad about yourself -- feel bad for these silly women who are still wrapped up in 7th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How matching are we talking about here for the mom outfits? Like they all wore blue or they all wore the exact same Lilly Pulitzer dress? How weird I think this is depends on your answer.

Generally I get why you feel left out, but at least you were invited to the party!

OP here. They literally all had on the exact same print yoga pant and same black shirt with print "lets party". All moms and all of their daughters matched. It was just kind of sad to be left out like that. I haven't experienced that in a long time! I know its petty and not a big deal, but it did hurt and i was surprised we are making cliques at age THREE

Was your kid the only one left out?

Also, did all these kids and moms know each other well before your dd joined the class? Like they all went to daycare together from the infant days?

[Anonymous]

Also, do the moms all work together or are they all SAHMs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you point out that you are "high earning" when you meet other moms?

noooo, I would never, I'm pretty modest but I posted that so you know I'm not a weirdo who doesn't get social ques or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How matching are we talking about here for the mom outfits? Like they all wore blue or they all wore the exact same Lilly Pulitzer dress? How weird I think this is depends on your answer.

Generally I get why you feel left out, but at least you were invited to the party!

OP here. They literally all had on the exact same print yoga pant and same black shirt with print "lets party". All moms and all of their daughters matched. It was just kind of sad to be left out like that. I haven't experienced that in a long time! I know its petty and not a big deal, but it did hurt and i was surprised we are making cliques at age THREE

Was your kid the only one left out?

Also, did all these kids and moms know each other well before your dd joined the class? Like they all went to daycare together from the infant days?

she was, because she was the only other girl. There were 2 little boys not dressed up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How matching are we talking about here for the mom outfits? Like they all wore blue or they all wore the exact same Lilly Pulitzer dress? How weird I think this is depends on your answer.

Generally I get why you feel left out, but at least you were invited to the party!

OP here. They literally all had on the exact same print yoga pant and same black shirt with print "lets party". All moms and all of their daughters matched. It was just kind of sad to be left out like that. I haven't experienced that in a long time! I know its petty and not a big deal, but it did hurt and i was surprised we are making cliques at age THREE

Okay. That’s too much. I thought it was something like everyone wore red because that was the birthday girl’s favorite color or whatever.

Buying the same shirt is way over the top. And they’re rude for excluding you from the pool party.

[Anonymous]