OMG - New preschool cliques... the moms!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like they're friends who have known each other for years. They're cliquish to you simply bc you want that inner circle friendship and repitoire.

You come across as a judgemental and prickly person OP and it shows ever so subtly.

I am not OP and I am judging these grown women that match outfits. It sounds like they are brainless twits.

Eh, wearing yoga pants with a loose tank top/sports bra showing underneath is not all that uncommon around here .I see this on any given day so the probability 4 moms at the same bday party are dining this isnt that absurd.

See the post about "why do women wear yoga pants in public so much?" awhile back.

[Anonymous]

People who have been friends who a while don’t automatically have to include you because you are new.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like they're friends who have known each other for years. They're cliquish to you simply bc you want that inner circle friendship and repitoire.

You come across as a judgemental and prickly person OP and it shows ever so subtly.

I am not OP and I am judging these grown women that match outfits. It sounds like they are brainless twits.

Eh, wearing yoga pants with a loose tank top/sports bra showing underneath is not all that uncommon around here .I see this on any given day so the probability 4 moms at the same bday party are dining this isnt that absurd.

See the post about "why do women wear yoga pants in public so much?" awhile back.

Just wearing yoga pants, sure. OP said the 4 moms and 4 girls were wearing matching print yoga pants and matching shirts that said "Let's Party". That's definitely not a coincidence.

[Anonymous]

I might have felt a twinge of disappointment at not being included (normal!) but then I would have quickly switched to glee at the thought that I could go home and tell DH about it and laugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD has been in daycare since she was 8 weeks old, so I'm not a newbie, but we switched centers and this new preschool is crazy. They are 3 years old, and there are 4 girls in the class who are definitely a clique. That's fine, but we went to one of their bday parties this weekend and all 4, plus their moms, were in matching outfits. So of course they are all taking pics together, leaving my DD out, which did suck. They seem to hang out every weekend and at the party were talking about everyone coming over to swim afterwards (we weren't invited). On the way home, my DD was asking if we were going to Larla's house to swim... I had to say no and we got ice cream.

I'm a confident, high earning 30 year old and I can't believe I'm feeling weirdly insecure about this! I get that it's hard to break into an established group of friends, but at THREE years old shouldnt everyone be included?

Not sure why you are upset. Perhaps they are close friends who spend lots of time together and they want to stay in the same group. I am sure you have close friends too, OP. When you go out together do you socialize within your group? You do not feel obligated to include everyone around you, do you?
This is a valuable lesson for your daughter, she will not always be included nor should she be. She needs to find her circle of friends.

[Anonymous]

This is so weird that it would seem like a troll story, except I know moms who have done the identical dress-up thing, although for a mom's night out rather than a kid birthday party.

It's still strangely 7th grade to the point of creepiness. Stay far away and I agree with the advice to ask for a different class for your DD.

[Anonymous]

I don't give an eff if they exclude ME, but I do care if they exclude my DD. I'd be looking at either changing schools, or getting her in a new room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD has been in daycare since she was 8 weeks old, so I'm not a newbie, but we switched centers and this new preschool is crazy. They are 3 years old, and there are 4 girls in the class who are definitely a clique. That's fine, but we went to one of their bday parties this weekend and all 4, plus their moms, were in matching outfits. So of course they are all taking pics together, leaving my DD out, which did suck. They seem to hang out every weekend and at the party were talking about everyone coming over to swim afterwards (we weren't invited). On the way home, my DD was asking if we were going to Larla's house to swim... I had to say no and we got ice cream.

I'm a confident, high earning 30 year old and I can't believe I'm feeling weirdly insecure about this! I get that it's hard to break into an established group of friends, but at THREE years old shouldnt everyone be included?

Not sure why you are upset. Perhaps they are close friends who spend lots of time together and they want to stay in the same group. I am sure you have close friends too, OP. When you go out together do you socialize within your group? You do not feel obligated to include everyone around you, do you?
This is a valuable lesson for your daughter, she will not always be included nor should she be. She needs to find her circle of friends.

Like so many other things in life, it's not an obligation to include people but it is considered polite to think about who we might be excluding as a result of our actions and behavior. Cliquish and mean girl behavior is very harmful to girls and women. And it needs to be called out. Accepting it as part of life is a rationalization not dissimilar to "boys will be boys."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like they're friends who have known each other for years. They're cliquish to you simply bc you want that inner circle friendship and repitoire.

You come across as a judgemental and prickly person OP and it shows ever so subtly.

You are literally the only person not judging this rude clown show.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like they're friends who have known each other for years. They're cliquish to you simply bc you want that inner circle friendship and repitoire.

You come across as a judgemental and prickly person OP and it shows ever so subtly.

I am not OP and I am judging these grown women that match outfits. It sounds like they are brainless twits.

Eh, wearing yoga pants with a loose tank top/sports bra showing underneath is not all that uncommon around here .I see this on any given day so the probability 4 moms at the same bday party are dining this isnt that absurd.

See the post about "why do women wear yoga pants in public so much?" awhile back.

Just wearing yoga pants, sure. OP said the 4 moms and 4 girls were wearing matching print yoga pants and matching shirts that said "Let's Party". That's definitely not a coincidence.

AND the only other girl at the party was OP's DD -- who was not clued into the costume theme. It's just like the mean girl telling Elle Wood that the law school party was a costume party, but reversed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD has been in daycare since she was 8 weeks old, so I'm not a newbie, but we switched centers and this new preschool is crazy. They are 3 years old, and there are 4 girls in the class who are definitely a clique. That's fine, but we went to one of their bday parties this weekend and all 4, plus their moms, were in matching outfits. So of course they are all taking pics together, leaving my DD out, which did suck. They seem to hang out every weekend and at the party were talking about everyone coming over to swim afterwards (we weren't invited). On the way home, my DD was asking if we were going to Larla's house to swim... I had to say no and we got ice cream.

I'm a confident, high earning 30 year old and I can't believe I'm feeling weirdly insecure about this! I get that it's hard to break into an established group of friends, but at THREE years old shouldnt everyone be included?

Not sure why you are upset. Perhaps they are close friends who spend lots of time together and they want to stay in the same group. I am sure you have close friends too, OP. When you go out together do you socialize within your group? You do not feel obligated to include everyone around you, do you?
This is a valuable lesson for your daughter, she will not always be included nor should she be. She needs to find her circle of friends.

O good lord. This was a party to which OP’s daughter was invited, not happy hour at Stoney’s. The other people should have made an even greater effort to include the one girl who was new, not exclude her in such an obvious way. Basic manners.

BTW, OP, for someone complaining about others’ insensitivity, you aren’t really distinguishing yourself from them with your comment about not wanting to be mistaken for one of those clueless, weird people

[Anonymous]

We had this same issue when my daughter started in the 3 year old classroom in her preschool. She started mid-year and many of the girls had been together for a couple of years and the parents were close friends, getting together on the weekends (but no matching outfits lol). There was a clique of 4 girls and my kid heard a lot of "you cant play with us."

I asked the Director if she could please be in a different class from those girls the next year so she could have a fighting chance of making friends. What the Director did instead, was split up the clique and it made a big difference. My DD is 8 now and we are still friends with 3 of the girls, despite being in diifferent elementary schools.

[Anonymous]

We have this at our preschool too, only it’s very subtle. It’s a church affiliated preschool and you have to be a younger sibling to get into the toddler class. That means an oldest child starts at 3 or 4 and joins a cohort of kids who have known each other for years, some of the moms were in a new moms group together, the families go to church dinner on Wednesday night together and the kids are in Sunday school together. The families get together on the weekends after church.

We solved the issue quickly by inviting families for Sunday morning play dates. We found our people - aka the other families that don’t go to church on Sunday.

[Anonymous]

Wait - matching leggings? Watch out OP they might try to sell you some LuLaRoe!

[Anonymous]

These other women sound immature and frankly kind of nuts with the matching outfits, so no loss there. But OP, you come across as kind of a snob who thinks mighty highly of yourself and might be a little socially clueless yourself, what with the introductory post pointing out the you’re a “30 year old high earner.” You also sound like you were a pretty young mom for the area and sometimes people are weird about that and assume you won’t fit in. I would avoid the clique and ask to have your daughter’s class switched.