What to do when you get call from camp “I want to come home”

[Anonymous]

My 11 year old is at 5 nite sleepover camp. She was ok going- wanted to go- but acted sad when we left. Then I get call tonite from her ( a director gave her their phone to use) and she was crazy crying on the phone. She was crying so hard I couldn’t understand her.... begging to be picked up. The camp is 2.5 hours away and is over Saturday morning. I told her it’s almost over and try to have fun but she was inconsolable.
What would you do? I can’t get off of work tomorrow to pick her up and am not sure why she can’t make it one more night.
What would you do?

I work and travel with my job- and am very independent as is my husband. I don’t get where this is coming from and how she is the only one of all her friends calling home.

[Anonymous]

What’s wrong at camp all of a sudden? Did the director/your daughter tell you what the issue is all of a sudden?

[Anonymous]

Is there any chance that she got her period? When my dd left for a 2 week back country camp she had only had her period once but the timing should have worked. Of course it didn't and she got it early. She is normally calm and laid back but this set her off and I got the same hysterical crying call. It took 20 minutes for me to figure out the problem and then another 20 min to calm her down.

If she couldn't tell you the issue can you talk to an adult that is there to try and figure out what it is?

[Anonymous]

I would try to make sure she has not been sexually abused. Other than that, I'd just wait till Saturday morning.

[Anonymous]

I would be annoyed but ultimately I'd go pick her up. I'm a sucker. It's important to me, for DD to know she can call me anytime and I'll come get her. It's also important to stick things through and not to run away from uncomfortable situations (within reason.. bully's, cliques, embarrassing moments) but this age is so hard and so vulnerable. I'd pick up and then talk through the situation once she was calm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be annoyed but ultimately I'd go pick her up. I'm a sucker. It's important to me, for DD to know she can call me anytime and I'll come get her. It's also important to stick things through and not to run away from uncomfortable situations (within reason.. bully's, cliques, embarrassing moments) but this age is so hard and so vulnerable. I'd pick up and then talk through the situation once she was calm

The actions you claim you'd take directly contradict the bolded.

[Anonymous]

OP here- she has not wanted to do overnight camps in past. We tried one two years ago and she did ok but was homesick. But that camp was farther away.
So did Day camps last couple years. Did an overnight gymnastics camp and she loved that. So we thought we could try again.
Part of the problem is she didn’t go with a “close friend”. That probably would have helped. She insists she misses us terribly. She’s very skinny and seems far from puberty.
I guess we should have known better but everyone of her friends go to camp and she seemed excited back in April when we signed her up.
No adult has called me at all. Just my daughter hysterical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be annoyed but ultimately I'd go pick her up. I'm a sucker. It's important to me, for DD to know she can call me anytime and I'll come get her. It's also important to stick things through and not to run away from uncomfortable situations (within reason.. bully's, cliques, embarrassing moments) but this age is so hard and so vulnerable. I'd pick up and then talk through the situation once she was calm

The actions you claim you'd take directly contradict the bolded.

Yes. I acknowledged that. There is no way of knowing if the situation my DD is trying to get away from is within reason. It could be something far worse. I've told my DD for many years that if she is out with friends or alone and she needs me to pick her up I will, no questions asked. This is the time to reinforce that message.

[Anonymous]

Go get her. My parents left me at a camp till my grandparents and others heard how unhappy I was and they finally got me and sent me to my grandparents. Don't be that parent who ignores their kid. I was so upset at my parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go get her. My parents left me at a camp till my grandparents and others heard how unhappy I was and they finally got me and sent me to my grandparents. Don't be that parent who ignores their kid. I was so upset at my parents.

In this situation, it’s one day. It would be different if she had weeks left. I would call the camp tomorrow and talk to an adult. If she is still participating in activities, I would leave her the one day to finish. It’s important to learn how to handle yourself when you don’t like something.

[Anonymous]

OP- my concern is that this camp should have policies and procedures to combat homesickness. A director “handing her the phone” isn’t the answer.

I was a sleepaway kid and a counselor and now my son is at camp for 7 weeks. Homesickness is absolutely normal. 5 days is an incredibly short amount of time to be gone.

Btw- the distance is irrelevant. The camp can be around the corner from your house. If she’s not home, what’s the difference? Also, I’m a fan of going without a friend because it forces you to make new friends— this is what camp is all about!

As for picking her up or not, I agree with calling the camp in the morning and finding out what’s really going on. As a counselor (and a camper for that matter) I only knew of one kid who went home early. He was so homesick that he was making himself sick and spent more time in the infirmary than with the bunk.

Finally- Finding the right camp with nice kids is he most important thing that secures happiness... not distance or lack there-of. Certainly not fancy facilities. Find the camp that feeds them well, keeps them busy and tires them out so that the toughest part of the day (before bedtime) is a happy, exhausted, too tired to be homesick affair.

[Anonymous]

I’ll add that when I went to camp my first time for 4 weeks, I wrote long letters to my parents about how miserable I was. They were so bad that my dad hid them from my mom because he knew I was in a safe situation just needed time to adjust. He spoke with camp staff over the phone and kept tabs on me. Slowly the letters got better and by the time 4 weeks were up and my parents arrived to get me, I was begging to stay for second session.

The kid I described in the previous post was a special circumstance and his homesickness became a true health problem. You need more info about your daughter. Rushing to pick her up isn’t necessarily the right move.

[Anonymous]

If your kid felt the need to call you like that, maybe they aren’t ready. Agree with doing more camps closer to the house. Personally I don’t get the obsession with sending your kids away to camp when they are so young. Plenty of time for that.

[Anonymous]

I would call the camp director to find out what’s going on. There may be a way to fix or at least mitigate the issue. Unless she’s sick, I’d make her stay the last day and be the first parent at pick up on Saturday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go get her. My parents left me at a camp till my grandparents and others heard how unhappy I was and they finally got me and sent me to my grandparents. Don't be that parent who ignores their kid. I was so upset at my parents.

+1

I still resent them.