What to do when you get call from camp “I want to come home”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Director should have called you. It was irresponsible for a counselor to put your daughter on the phone when she was hysterical without an adult to talk with you after.

That said, I would get my child. They know they can call DH or me at any point and we are there for them. It is an incredibly important lesson as they enter their teen years. I was beyond stressed my senior year in college with my workload and I called my mom hysterical at 10:00pm, and at 6:00am she was at my apartment and it was a 4 hour drive. I will always be incredibly thankful because I just needed my mom.

I'm glad my parents raised me to be more independent than this. I guess I might have called my parents crying if I was upset about my workload in college, not sure, but if I had, there is NO WAY I would have expected or wanted them to drive 4 hours overnight to see me. If I were seriously ill or something, OK, but b/c I was stressed about homework? This does not seem healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go get her. My parents left me at a camp till my grandparents and others heard how unhappy I was and they finally got me and sent me to my grandparents. Don't be that parent who ignores their kid. I was so upset at my parents.

+1

I still resent them.

Do you feel your parents were uncaring/neglectful in other ways, or are you really carrying around resentment from decades ago solely because they didn't come get you at camp when you were homesick?

My little brother went to a sleepover camp in another state every summer for several years, and would call my parents regularly crying and saying he was homesick. They would comfort him, but did not go get him early. Every summer he wanted to go back. I think they made the right choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Director should have called you. It was irresponsible for a counselor to put your daughter on the phone when she was hysterical without an adult to talk with you after.

That said, I would get my child. They know they can call DH or me at any point and we are there for them. It is an incredibly important lesson as they enter their teen years. I was beyond stressed my senior year in college with my workload and I called my mom hysterical at 10:00pm, and at 6:00am she was at my apartment and it was a 4 hour drive. I will always be incredibly thankful because I just needed my mom.

I'm glad my parents raised me to be more independent than this. I guess I might have called my parents crying if I was upset about my workload in college, not sure, but if I had, there is NO WAY I would have expected or wanted them to drive 4 hours overnight to see me. If I were seriously ill or something, OK, but b/c I was stressed about homework? This does not seem healthy.

Don’t worry! I’m 46 with a husband, kids and an international job for a Fortune 500. I’m still close to my mother. I was and am still very independent which I think is what freaked out my mother and why she dropped everything and came to see me. It’s good to know family is always there for me. We all get along well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Director should have called you. It was irresponsible for a counselor to put your daughter on the phone when she was hysterical without an adult to talk with you after.

That said, I would get my child. They know they can call DH or me at any point and we are there for them. It is an incredibly important lesson as they enter their teen years. I was beyond stressed my senior year in college with my workload and I called my mom hysterical at 10:00pm, and at 6:00am she was at my apartment and it was a 4 hour drive. I will always be incredibly thankful because I just needed my mom.

I'm glad my parents raised me to be more independent than this. I guess I might have called my parents crying if I was upset about my workload in college, not sure, but if I had, there is NO WAY I would have expected or wanted them to drive 4 hours overnight to see me. If I were seriously ill or something, OK, but b/c I was stressed about homework? This does not seem healthy.

Don’t worry! I’m 46 with a husband, kids and an international job for a Fortune 500. I’m still close to my mother. I was and am still very independent which I think is what freaked out my mother and why she dropped everything and came to see me. It’s good to know family is always there for me. We all get along well.

Well, that's good to hear. I will keep your story in mind so that if my kids want me to drop everything to come see them in college I will not jump to the conclusion that I failed as a parent.

[Anonymous]

I'd go get her. She either isn't ready for this or something has happened. Either way, I would go get her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait a few days until homesickness is over.

Hello Muddah Hello Fadduh https://g.co/kgs/rojdWe

Loved this! I'm surprised so many posters assume it's a genuine crisis vs. normal homesickness (tends to peak at bedtime), but the director can clarify what's going on.

[Anonymous]

For one day, I'd probably leave her. She probably just got really homesick.

I'm in my 40's, but the first Christmas I was away from my parents (in my 40's), I burst into tears because I got so homesick! I had literally never not had a Christmas with them, and I thought I'd be having so much fun on my vacation that I wouldn't miss them, but I did. It was kind of embarrassing. So hopefully your kid is just really missing you.

[Anonymous]

OP here- I didn’t go get her last nite and yes, I’m completely frustrated that a counselor (she told me the camp director) gave her a phone to call. That was unacceptable. I have only my hysterical daughters pleas and nothing from leadership.
I’m going to call the phone number she called from and ask for an adult to call me.
I think my daughter is just not a kid who enjoys overnight camps. I’m starting to think it’s just personality. The camp is well known and many many friend go- I’m not concerned with abuse or anything like that because she’s been homesick before (hence why he took a break from overnight camps). Why she gets so homesick, I don’t get. Both of us work and travel so I feel like we don’t hover or over protect. But again, maybe just a personality thing.
SO much great advice from posters but I have decided to try and get her to last until tomorrow. I will try to pick her up extra early before the chaos so as to not embarrass her since I have a feeling she has been miserable all week.
Great advice to sit down over ice cream and discuss after the fact.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the counselor is inexperienced and probably broke protocol. Call the director and have the director check with the counselor on what is going on. I felt homesick for a few days at camp and I’m glad they didn’t let me talk to my mom. The feeling passed. Even if it didn’t, she I said only there for five days which is very short for that age. They don’t have time to get over the homesickness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I didn’t go get her last nite and yes, I’m completely frustrated that a counselor (she told me the camp director) gave her a phone to call. That was unacceptable. I have only my hysterical daughters pleas and nothing from leadership.
I’m going to call the phone number she called from and ask for an adult to call me.
I think my daughter is just not a kid who enjoys overnight camps. I’m starting to think it’s just personality. The camp is well known and many many friend go- I’m not concerned with abuse or anything like that because she’s been homesick before (hence why he took a break from overnight camps). Why she gets so homesick, I don’t get. Both of us work and travel so I feel like we don’t hover or over protect. But again, maybe just a personality thing.
SO much great advice from posters but I have decided to try and get her to last until tomorrow. I will try to pick her up extra early before the chaos so as to not embarrass her since I have a feeling she has been miserable all week.
Great advice to sit down over ice cream and discuss after the fact.

The camp situation could be many things, hard to know. I just want to kindly remind you that your kid getting homesick more easily than other kids or yourself/your spouse is not a failure of her character or your parenting. Like you said, maybe it's her personality--there's nothing wrong with being a homebody, just as there is nothing wrong with having wanderlust, it just is, now trying to make her feel bad about not wanting to do things that aren't in her comfort zone at this time--that seems like a good way to end up with the resentment that other posters said they had. I'm guessing she was (or seemed) excited when you signed her up because she senses your desire for her to do this and be more like you. A couple of your posts have a tone of disapproval about her not being like you in this regard, and that is what I'd be cautious of. Anyway, just something to think about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Director should have called you. It was irresponsible for a counselor to put your daughter on the phone when she was hysterical without an adult to talk with you after.

That said, I would get my child. They know they can call DH or me at any point and we are there for them. It is an incredibly important lesson as they enter their teen years. I was beyond stressed my senior year in college with my workload and I called my mom hysterical at 10:00pm, and at 6:00am she was at my apartment and it was a 4 hour drive. I will always be incredibly thankful because I just needed my mom.

You are so lucky to have a mom like that. I never could have relied on my mom like that and she was a single parent so I had no one else. I felt very alone a lot. I hope I can do better for my kids.

[Anonymous]

For a 5-day camp, i would absolutely not pick her up. i would call the camp and ask if everything was okay. it is really irresponsible of the camp to let her call home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Director should have called you. It was irresponsible for a counselor to put your daughter on the phone when she was hysterical without an adult to talk with you after.

That said, I would get my child. They know they can call DH or me at any point and we are there for them. It is an incredibly important lesson as they enter their teen years. I was beyond stressed my senior year in college with my workload and I called my mom hysterical at 10:00pm, and at 6:00am she was at my apartment and it was a 4 hour drive. I will always be incredibly thankful because I just needed my mom.

I'm glad my parents raised me to be more independent than this. I guess I might have called my parents crying if I was upset about my workload in college, not sure, but if I had, there is NO WAY I would have expected or wanted them to drive 4 hours overnight to see me. If I were seriously ill or something, OK, but b/c I was stressed about homework? This does not seem healthy.

Seriously. Totally agree with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Director should have called you. It was irresponsible for a counselor to put your daughter on the phone when she was hysterical without an adult to talk with you after.

That said, I would get my child. They know they can call DH or me at any point and we are there for them. It is an incredibly important lesson as they enter their teen years. I was beyond stressed my senior year in college with my workload and I called my mom hysterical at 10:00pm, and at 6:00am she was at my apartment and it was a 4 hour drive. I will always be incredibly thankful because I just needed my mom.

I'm glad my parents raised me to be more independent than this. I guess I might have called my parents crying if I was upset about my workload in college, not sure, but if I had, there is NO WAY I would have expected or wanted them to drive 4 hours overnight to see me. If I were seriously ill or something, OK, but b/c I was stressed about homework? This does not seem healthy.

Seriously. Totally agree with you.

+2 That seems like an overreaction and more like "The Giving Tree" to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Director should have called you. It was irresponsible for a counselor to put your daughter on the phone when she was hysterical without an adult to talk with you after.

That said, I would get my child. They know they can call DH or me at any point and we are there for them. It is an incredibly important lesson as they enter their teen years. I was beyond stressed my senior year in college with my workload and I called my mom hysterical at 10:00pm, and at 6:00am she was at my apartment and it was a 4 hour drive. I will always be incredibly thankful because I just needed my mom.

You are so lucky to have a mom like that. I never could have relied on my mom like that and she was a single parent so I had no one else. I felt very alone a lot. I hope I can do better for my kids.

I’m the pp. Yes, she really is an incredible mom and now grandmother. Her mother passed away when she was four so she has always tried to be really present for us because she knows what it is like to not have a mom. We love her!