What to do when you get call from camp “I want to come home”

[Anonymous]

I think this depends so much on the kid. I would be absolutely shocked if my my oldest called, and would rush right over. It would be so out of character that I would assume that something was really wrong.

My youngest, on the other hand, needs some coaching to power through things that are hard. He can be a little bit of a drama llama. If he called, I'd still want to call back and talk to an adult, but I wouldn't assume there was an actual emergency. I could imagine him calling because of too many bug bites, or because there was a power outage, or any number of other things that would not warrant pick up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, the kids can't call parents whenever they want (or at least at regularly scheduled times) while at camp? I remember phoning my parents nightly from overnight camp (and I also remember lining up with friends to use the phone after dinner).

--A European.

At the camp I went to when I was a kid, you only got a phone call with a parent if it was your birthday. Otherwise it was just letters. Same rules exist today. Camp is 7 weeks long and you see your parents halfway through for visiting day.

[Anonymous]

I never could have handled camp at 11. I went for one week with my sister at age 14, and absolutely hated it then too. I counted the minutes until it was over.

College 3 years later though? Zero issues. Loved it.

I would go get my kid and stick to day camps in the future. Not every kid has to go to sleep away camp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call the director. Honestly, the fact that the counselor put your daughter on the phone is not a good sign.

It probably means that the counselor thinks you should come get your daughter.

Which means you should go get your daughter if you can.

+1. I had a kid that was very homesick at first, but ended up having a good time. However, my experience with camps is that they will try everything to get the kid to stick it out and will definitely resist letting the kid talk to the parents unless the kid is just inconsolable. I know one year our Scout troop finally let a kid call his parents to come get him because he would not sleep and kept the Scoutmasters up all night crying and begging to go home. They said that once the parents said they were on their way, her was fine.

If they gave in and let the kid call you, I'd go get her.

[Anonymous]

Go get her.

It sounds like she has a history of homesickness. She’s may just too young. Or she may have an anxiety disorder.

I speak from experience. I was that camper who called my mom to come get me day 5 of a 7 day camp 1.5 hours from my house. I was an anxious kid. I would have been scarred had she not brought me home. That was third grade. By 8th grade I went back to the same camp and had a blast.

On the other hand my daughter loved camp in 5th grade but refused to go on an overnight Girl Scout trip around the same time. Little did we know that an anxiety disorder was developing (this is around the age it exposes itself). By 7th grade she wanted nothing to do with going away to camp or many social things that I won’t go in to and after extensive testing, was formally diagnosed with social anxiety disorder.

Every kid is different. It’s important to talk to her about why she wanted to come home AFTER you’ve picked her up and brought her home and she has had a chance to feel comfortable again.

[Anonymous]

Some of the things that happened to my DD at expensive sleep away camps ...
If my DD, a strong and level headed kid, called me in hysterics I would pick her up.

Actually it happened 3 times. (different DDs) In one instance DD developed Fifth Disease, which is characterized by fluctuations in temperature and hives that appear and disappear. She developed a temp of 102 the first day but the camp kept saying it would go away and there was no nurse. On the morning of the 3rd day she called while I was at doctors appointment in hysterics. DH left right away a 5 hour drive to pick her up. Very very sick for the next 10 days. The camp was completely nonchalant about it and in their judgment she should have stayed.

In another incident camp counselors did not manage heat protection correctly and she suffered heat stroke. When I got there she was pale and listless lying in the ground. Counselor very busy elsewhere at the time. Yes counselor was fired.

In a third incident DD suffered a deep gash on the foot. It happened the night before the last day. The counselors bound it up and told her it was fine and anyway she was going home. When we took the bandage off it revealed a deep long gash in need of many stitches. However a deep gash that sat for over 24 hours cannot be stitched.

These were expensive camps with high ratings. Things happen. I trust my DDs when they say something is wrong.

They are in college now managing just fine. They would call if it was an emergency but it’s important to support their judgement at times.

[Anonymous]

PP from above. In each case child was unable to correctly articulate the situation especially with the counselor right there encouraging a down play/ stay there. They are children. And the counselor are not much older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of the things that happened to my DD at expensive sleep away camps ...
If my DD, a strong and level headed kid, called me in hysterics I would pick her up.

Actually it happened 3 times. (different DDs) In one instance DD developed Fifth Disease, which is characterized by fluctuations in temperature and hives that appear and disappear. She developed a temp of 102 the first day but the camp kept saying it would go away and there was no nurse. On the morning of the 3rd day she called while I was at doctors appointment in hysterics. DH left right away a 5 hour drive to pick her up. Very very sick for the next 10 days. The camp was completely nonchalant about it and in their judgment she should have stayed.

In another incident camp counselors did not manage heat protection correctly and she suffered heat stroke. When I got there she was pale and listless lying in the ground. Counselor very busy elsewhere at the time. Yes counselor was fired.

In a third incident DD suffered a deep gash on the foot. It happened the night before the last day. The counselors bound it up and told her it was fine and anyway she was going home. When we took the bandage off it revealed a deep long gash in need of many stitches. However a deep gash that sat for over 24 hours cannot be stitched.

These were expensive camps with high ratings. Things happen. I trust my DDs when they say something is wrong.

They are in college now managing just fine. They would call if it was an emergency but it’s important to support their judgement at times.

OMG PP! All three of these are major health and safety issues! Did the camps not have a registered nurse to make medical evaluations? I would report the camps to the state for all three issues! (The first one slightly less egregious than the second too perhaps.) . Heat stroke can be fatal and so could infection from a deep, untreated wound.

[Anonymous]

What a bunch of crybabies! Teaching your child independence is one of the most important lessons of childhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a bunch of crybabies! Teaching your child independence is one of the most important lessons of childhood.

There are many ways to teach your child independence that do not involve over night camp. Not every kid enjoys over night camp and that is ok.

I’ll be interested to hear what the OP did and how it turned out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of the things that happened to my DD at expensive sleep away camps ...
If my DD, a strong and level headed kid, called me in hysterics I would pick her up.

Actually it happened 3 times. (different DDs) In one instance DD developed Fifth Disease, which is characterized by fluctuations in temperature and hives that appear and disappear. She developed a temp of 102 the first day but the camp kept saying it would go away and there was no nurse. On the morning of the 3rd day she called while I was at doctors appointment in hysterics. DH left right away a 5 hour drive to pick her up. Very very sick for the next 10 days. The camp was completely nonchalant about it and in their judgment she should have stayed.

In another incident camp counselors did not manage heat protection correctly and she suffered heat stroke. When I got there she was pale and listless lying in the ground. Counselor very busy elsewhere at the time. Yes counselor was fired.

In a third incident DD suffered a deep gash on the foot. It happened the night before the last day. The counselors bound it up and told her it was fine and anyway she was going home. When we took the bandage off it revealed a deep long gash in need of many stitches. However a deep gash that sat for over 24 hours cannot be stitched.

These were expensive camps with high ratings. Things happen. I trust my DDs when they say something is wrong.

They are in college now managing just fine. They would call if it was an emergency but it’s important to support their judgement at times.

This is horrible! I will never send my kid to an overnight camp!

[Anonymous]

Update OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, the kids can't call parents whenever they want (or at least at regularly scheduled times) while at camp? I remember phoning my parents nightly from overnight camp (and I also remember lining up with friends to use the phone after dinner).

--A European.

At the camp I went to when I was a kid, you only got a phone call with a parent if it was your birthday. Otherwise it was just letters. Same rules exist today. Camp is 7 weeks long and you see your parents halfway through for visiting day.

European PP here. Thanks! I did t know this was a thing.

I called my best friend back home this morning. She happens to be a kindergarten teacher and takes the kids for week-long trips. All elementary grades tend to go together. She said until age 6 or so, calling the parents usually upsets the kids more. However, from age 7 and up, they're allowed to phone home if they ask. Parents are allowed to call the teachers as much as they want and the teachers send an email to all parents describing how the day went. If a kid is particularly upset, the parents get a call from the teacher but it's up to each teacher to decide when that is warranted.

[Anonymous]

I would talk to the camp director and find out if something serious is wrong.
if there is a real issue, such as bullying or having no friends, I would go get her. Otherwise I would make her tough put another night. FWIW, my mom drove up to get me at camp under similar circumstances, and by the time she get there I was feeling better and didn’t even really want to leave anymore.

[Anonymous]

Update?

Did DD tell you what was wrong?