Taking boyfriend on summer vacation for teen

[Anonymous]

Would you yeah or nay allow your 17 year old to take her boyfriend on vacation with the family. He is a nice kid, her best friend, etc. Why or why not? She has always brought friends along so that part does not bother me. The boy is away at a college prep program for most of the summer so this is there only time to see one another before school starts. I want to say no, but I don't really believe it is a bad thing.

[Anonymous]

Where would he sleep?

[Anonymous]

Nope. Too much togetherness. If she is an only, bring a girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

Nope

[Anonymous]

17 years old as in post senior year? Yes. Going into senior year? No

[Anonymous]

I would. My parents allowed it. Everything was fine. We were in different rooms and not sleeping together. Yet. This was our senior year in high school.

[Anonymous]

No. If she’s an only, she can bring a friend, otherwise family vacation is family time.

[Anonymous]

Tough call given his travel. Could you take your trip while he is away so they can see each other when he returns. That’s what I’d try to do.

[Anonymous]

Understanding that it is likely (not a given, but likely) that they are or will have sex...If I were ok with that, then I would, in this particular situation, where you are already comfortable with friends coming on vacations, and already know and are comfortable with this particular friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. If she’s an only, she can bring a friend, otherwise family vacation is family time.

That isn't OP's stance. Other friends have come on vacation.

[Anonymous]

Never would allow this.

[Anonymous]

How many of you naysayers don't have 17 year olds? Let alone 17 year olds in long-term, healthy relationships? I would have said no once upon a time too, but now that I have a 17 year old, I would say yes if: the boyfriend/girlfriend's parents agreed, and there were separate sleeping arrangements. They might be having sex (probably are - I was 17 once too!), but I am not going to make it easy for them, give permission, and, they have to much respect for us to do it under our noses anyway.

[Anonymous]

I did this the summer before or after my freshman year of college, I can't remember. It was one of the best vacations of my life. For some reason we were allowed to sleep in the same room. Yes, we had sex a few times in our bed but otherwise it was just a regular family vacation. I look back on it fondly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many of you naysayers don't have 17 year olds? Let alone 17 year olds in long-term, healthy relationships? I would have said no once upon a time too, but now that I have a 17 year old, I would say yes if: the boyfriend/girlfriend's parents agreed, and there were separate sleeping arrangements. They might be having sex (probably are - I was 17 once too!), but I am not going to make it easy for them, give permission, and, they have to much respect for us to do it under our noses anyway.

Two of my kids have passed the age of 17. For us, vacations are family time. When you're engaged, you can bring the person.

[Anonymous]

I would, as a PP said, say yes as long as the parents agreed and there were ground rules such as sleeping in different rooms and that if they broke whatever ground rules there would be consequences. All the parents would have to be on the same page. I wouldn’t make a big deal of it. It’s great that they consider one another friends as well as BF/GF. I think it’s nice that they both want to go on the trip with the family rather than the old “I’m going on a trip with Susie and her family” and “I’m going on a trip with Billy and his” that kids used to play in HS when we were kids. (Not me, too many people got caught playing that game. Come on—it’s not very creative, even without cell-phones and internet back in the day). Being included with the family plans is positive and gives you a chance to get to know him even more, if you don’t know him well enough already.