Taking boyfriend on summer vacation for teen

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:How many of you naysayers don't have 17 year olds? Let alone 17 year olds in long-term, healthy relationships? I would have said no once upon a time too, but now that I have a 17 year old, I would say yes if: the boyfriend/girlfriend's parents agreed, and there were separate sleeping arrangements. They might be having sex (probably are - I was 17 once too!), but I am not going to make it easy for them, give permission, and, they have to much respect for us to do it under our noses anyway.

Two of my kids have passed the age of 17. For us, vacations are family time. When you're engaged, you can bring the person.

You're going to regret that. DH and I dated for 5 years. If neither of our parents let us bring the other on vacation, we wouldn't have gone. We dated from 21-26 and I'm grateful my parents accepted my boyfriend. That way once grandkids came along at 30, we invited grandparents on our vacation. I have friends who weren't allowed and whose future MILs wouldn't even meet them for lunch, dinner or vacations. Those MILs got cut off when their sons got married.

“If I can’t bring my boyfriend I’m not coming!” Guess whose ass would HAPPILY have been left at home in my family...

My family is very different. I am one of only 2 kids and we have both lived away from home since 16 and 18 years old. We dated our partners starting at 25 and 26 and were together for 6 and 7 years before any marriage. If my parents wanted to go on a vacation with us in our twenties they's be pretty ridiculous to be uptight about the boyfriend thing. There would be nothing happy for my parents about wasting an opportunity to spend time with us and having us go another 6 months without seeing them.

I think you’re ridiculous for freeloading a vacation for you and your boyfriend at 26 but to each their own

It’s free loading if you are classless. We invite people on vacation we pay. We get invited, we expect to pay but frequently aren’t expected to or payment is not accepted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. She is our only child. She has lived abroad for 2 semesters once in 8th grade and 1 last year. The boy spends summers abroad. I want to say no because I feel it is being very liberal as a parent. On the other hand they are extremely mature. It is not a full family vacation as my husband is not going. The kids have separate rooms. I also trust them.

With what you have described it sounds like it may be a really fun time. I don't really see the problem if they have separate rooms.

[Anonymous]

Nope. My parents would NEVER have agreed to this with me had I tried it. And yet they let my younger brother bring his gf on our family vacation when he was that age. She was awful individually, and they were super obnoxious as a couple. Really put a damper on things for the rest of us. Okay, so maybe I have a chip on my shoulder about this...

But anyway, I think bringing romantic partners on vacation is a privilege reserved for adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many of you naysayers don't have 17 year olds? Let alone 17 year olds in long-term, healthy relationships? I would have said no once upon a time too, but now that I have a 17 year old, I would say yes if: the boyfriend/girlfriend's parents agreed, and there were separate sleeping arrangements. They might be having sex (probably are - I was 17 once too!), but I am not going to make it easy for them, give permission, and, they have to much respect for us to do it under our noses anyway.

Two of my kids have passed the age of 17. For us, vacations are family time. When you're engaged, you can bring the person.

You're going to regret that. DH and I dated for 5 years. If neither of our parents let us bring the other on vacation, we wouldn't have gone. We dated from 21-26 and I'm grateful my parents accepted my boyfriend. That way once grandkids came along at 30, we invited grandparents on our vacation. I have friends who weren't allowed and whose future MILs wouldn't even meet them for lunch, dinner or vacations. Those MILs got cut off when their sons got married.

“If I can’t bring my boyfriend I’m not coming!” Guess whose ass would HAPPILY have been left at home in my family...

My family is very different. I am one of only 2 kids and we have both lived away from home since 16 and 18 years old. We dated our partners starting at 25 and 26 and were together for 6 and 7 years before any marriage. If my parents wanted to go on a vacation with us in our twenties they's be pretty ridiculous to be uptight about the boyfriend thing. There would be nothing happy for my parents about wasting an opportunity to spend time with us and having us go another 6 months without seeing them.

I think you’re ridiculous for freeloading a vacation for you and your boyfriend at 26 but to each their own

It’s free loading if you are classless. We invite people on vacation we pay. We get invited, we expect to pay but frequently aren’t expected to or payment is not accepted.

Seriously not understanding this. So you invite your 21 year old kid and the gf to the beach house and they are lousy good for nothing mooching classless freeloaders? Wtf.

[Anonymous]

Totally would. He sounds nice and it would be a fun experience fro everyone. Separate bed rooms.

[Anonymous]

You can put them in separate bedrooms but it won't stop them having sex.

I went on vacation to Hong Kong with my bf's family when I was 17 he was 18 and his sister was 21. I shared a room with her but every single afternoon he and I went back to the vacation apt after spending time at the club pool, TO HAVE SEX.

EVERY DAY.

[Anonymous]

I would. If you like the boy, and he is good company for everyone, why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are supposed to break up over the summer so he can go off to college and be free of the baggage. It would be a very stressful vacation for everyone if they break up there or right after the trip. The time without him will help her adjust so you may as well start now.

Not everyone breaks up for college. My HS boyfriend and I dated for years into college (separate colleges), some people actually want to try to stay together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Seriously. Although, I can't imagine tagging along on family vacations at age 26 anyway.

Why not? Some people like spending time with their family - at any age. I'd do a family vacation and then a personal one with boyfriend/friends. Plus my boyfriend (future husband) was also invited to family vacations. It is a great way to learn about your future-in-laws.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I think you’re ridiculous for freeloading a vacation for you and your boyfriend at 26 but to each their own

You don't have enough information to assume that the parents paid for everything.

[Anonymous]

Is the DD likely to attend the same college next year? Maybe this will help to support the relationship past the first year apart.

[Anonymous]

Family vacation is family quality time. Enjoy it as much as possible now without bf.

[Anonymous]

We just got back from a vacation in which my son's gf (both 17) went with us.

She was in a separate room with my daughters and there was no sneaking around at night. If they had sex some other time, well, that's life. We've gone over safe sex with him enough times for him to make an informed choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just got back from a vacation in which my son's gf (both 17) went with us.

She was in a separate room with my daughters and there was no sneaking around at night. If they had sex some other time, well, that's life. We've gone over safe sex with him enough times for him to make an informed choice.

That's pretty hypocritical. Its ok if they have sex so long as I've not condoned it by putting them in the same room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just got back from a vacation in which my son's gf (both 17) went with us.

She was in a separate room with my daughters and there was no sneaking around at night. If they had sex some other time, well, that's life. We've gone over safe sex with him enough times for him to make an informed choice.

That's pretty hypocritical. Its ok if they have sex so long as I've not condoned it by putting them in the same room.

I don't think it's hypocritical at all. Sounds realistic to me.