MIL is bitching about the way I host holidays

[Anonymous]

Long story short I hate cooking. I work full time and most of the times I just cater everything, provide good shampagne etc. On holidays like 4th DH grills. We just hosted Easter brunch and Mother’s Day brunch and MIL was bitching entire time that I don’t follow traditions. My mom told me not to worry as she seems to be the type when DIL( myself included) not good enough in anything.

I guess just venting here.

[Anonymous]

If MIL persists, your DH can tell her she's welcome to decline your invitations and spend them elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

If she gripes about your catered food, imagine what she'll say if you actually cooked! Then her complaints/insults will sting much more. Ignore ignore ignore!

[Anonymous]

Just ignore. Or ask why her son isn’t following traditions?

[Anonymous]

Shampagne? Sounds klassy.

[Anonymous]

Your MIL is certainly out of line by complaining, but really you cater every time you host anything? Maybe there is a balance to be struck here between catering some items and cooking some items as well, or inviting your MIL and other guests to cook items and bring them.

Also if you don't like hosting or cooking, why not let someone else do it instead.

[Anonymous]

Do they want to host? I am always dying to host events and am not allowed (the events I host, DH's family doesn't come). But I dislike the way they host events.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your MIL is certainly out of line by complaining, but really you cater every time you host anything? Maybe there is a balance to be struck here between catering some items and cooking some items as well, or inviting your MIL and other guests to cook items and bring them.

Also if you don't like hosting or cooking, why not let someone else do it instead.

No. OP doesn't have to change if it won't work for her. MIL knows the lay of the land and she can choose to come or not, depending on her preferences. If MIL wants to host, fine. If someone else wants to host, also fine. OP and her DH can decide whether they want to join.

[Anonymous]

While you ignore her nastiness, it's a good opportunity to review the way you host.

Is your catered food good? Can each guest find something they like to eat? Are hot foods hot and cold foods cold (major difficulty when hosting)? Enough comfortable seating, particularly for the elderly? Seating arranged to maximize conversation? Is your house the right temperature for each season? guest bathroom always spick and span? No pets drooling on the guests?

That sort of thing.

[Anonymous]

"It's not my job to uphold your traditions. If there's a special dish or tradition you want to pass on, why aren't you asking the son you raised about it?

We host the way we want to in our own home. Are you aware of how rude it is to criticize what your host offers? You certainly are not obligated to come to this house. If you have felt obligated in the past, let me tell you now, you are free to leave and free to decline our invitations in the future."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your MIL is certainly out of line by complaining, but really you cater every time you host anything? Maybe there is a balance to be struck here between catering some items and cooking some items as well, or inviting your MIL and other guests to cook items and bring them.

Also if you don't like hosting or cooking, why not let someone else do it instead.

This is the way we do it -we rotate. I would be happy let someone else do it but they love to do it in our house.

[Anonymous]

When someone invites me to their home, I am gracious. If they serve me hotdogs and beans, I still say thank you for inviting me. Someone ( not you OP) needs to tell MIL that "her" way isn't the only way.

[Anonymous]

Out of curiosity, is it the food you serve or is there something else in the vein of tradition she's complaining about? For instance, are they a family that says grace before meals at holiday time? Do they serve a piece from a single egg at Easter? Do they follow a religion different from yours? Do they wear funny hats on the Fourth???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Out of curiosity, is it the food you serve or is there something else in the vein of tradition she's complaining about? For instance, are they a family that says grace before meals at holiday time? Do they serve a piece from a single egg at Easter? Do they follow a religion different from yours? Do they wear funny hats on the Fourth???

I can’t think of any tradition honestly.

Sorry I misspelled champagne!

To those who thinks my catered food is not good, if I cook it will be worse than any catered food you ever tried. Also I make a salad myself)

Last Christmas MIL made a huge deal because I don’t make homemade buns, so when I catered she requested not to order buns because she was going to make them. At the end she forgot to make them and we didn’t have buns at all. So this kind of thing happens constantly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Out of curiosity, is it the food you serve or is there something else in the vein of tradition she's complaining about? For instance, are they a family that says grace before meals at holiday time? Do they serve a piece from a single egg at Easter? Do they follow a religion different from yours? Do they wear funny hats on the Fourth???

I can’t think of any tradition honestly.

Sorry I misspelled champagne!

To those who thinks my catered food is not good, if I cook it will be worse than any catered food you ever tried. Also I make a salad myself)

Last Christmas MIL made a huge deal because I don’t make homemade buns, so when I catered she requested not to order buns because she was going to make them. At the end she forgot to make them and we didn’t have buns at all. So this kind of thing happens constantly.

Hilarious! Next time she complains remind her of that episode...