Bisexual daughter and sleepovers

[Anonymous]

My 15 year old daughter recently told us she is bisexual which my husband and I are completely comfortable with. However, we disagree with how to handle sleepovers. Personally I am very uncomfortable with the notion of her having female friends spend the night where it’s quite possible something sexual will happen. The way I see it, there’s no way in hell I would let her have a male friend spend the night, so why should I allow it with girls? My husband disagrees and thinks it would be cruel to limit her from having sleepovers with her female friends. He does absolutely agree that boys are completely out of the question for sleepovers.

[Anonymous]

This is definitely a newer parenting issue to come up. Personally, I get where you’re coming from. I think my initial thoughts are the same. But I do agree with your husbands point and wonder what long term consequences would happen is you isolated her from sleepovers because of her sexuality.

[Anonymous]

What exactly is the purpose of sleepovers, anyways?

Do kids without sleepovers suffer any developmental damage?

[Anonymous]

Just because she's bisexual it doesn't mean she's attracted to every single girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just because she's bisexual it doesn't mean she's attracted to every single girl.

It doesn't mean she's attracted to every single boy, either.

No boy sleepovers, no girl sleepovers. Easy.

[Anonymous]

My DD is gay. Initially, we said a hard no on sleepovers. Then it became clear that coed sleepovers were becoming the new norm in our neighborhood school. Straight and queer kids. We adjusted to it. That said, I don’t blame anyone who says no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just because she's bisexual it doesn't mean she's attracted to every single girl.

OP here I certainly realize this, but the problem is that I have no way of knowing whether or not she would have an attraction to the girl sleeping over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is gay. Initially, we said a hard no on sleepovers. Then it became clear that coed sleepovers were becoming the new norm in our neighborhood school. Straight and queer kids. We adjusted to it. That said, I don’t blame anyone who says no.

I am a parent of teens and teach HS and I have never heard of coed sleepovers. Maybe this is because I live in the suburbs?

[Anonymous]

Let her have the sleepovers. I plan to let my kids have boys sleep over too but then they have to be on birth control. Why does the thought of her experiencing sexual pleasure in your house bother you so much? I would be relieved that possible pregnancy would not be an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let her have the sleepovers. I plan to let my kids have boys sleep over too but then they have to be on birth control. Why does the thought of her experiencing sexual pleasure in your house bother you so much? I would be relieved that possible pregnancy would not be an issue.

I’d worry less about pregnancy and more about STDs, consent/coercion, and anything being filmed and disseminated.

[Anonymous]

Funny, I remember some of the craziest pre-adult exploring encounters happening at sleepovers. My mom was in the middle of a divorce, so I slept over friends houses... A Lot.

Needless to say, sexual identity aside, we explored and watched soft porn and snuck shots of some weird peppermint schnapps from the bar and played truth or dare and did all sorts of selacious things I'd never repeat...

..and this was between the ages of 12-15.

No sleepovers after age 10 for my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is gay. Initially, we said a hard no on sleepovers. Then it became clear that coed sleepovers were becoming the new norm in our neighborhood school. Straight and queer kids. We adjusted to it. That said, I don’t blame anyone who says no.

I am a parent of teens and teach HS and I have never heard of coed sleepovers. Maybe this is because I live in the suburbs?

Parent of a 13 year old dd who's come out as gay. Never heard of any coed sleepovers (have a child in hs), and we live in DC. No, she will not be having any sleepovers with boys or with girls. No one ever died from not having a sleepover.

[Anonymous]

Generally speaking, sleepovers are a bad idea.
Our kid's teacher said the usual aftermath he saw on Mondays wasn't pretty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let her have the sleepovers. I plan to let my kids have boys sleep over too but then they have to be on birth control. Why does the thought of her experiencing sexual pleasure in your house bother you so much? I would be relieved that possible pregnancy would not be an issue.

Alrighty now. Can we get an answer from some normal parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Generally speaking, sleepovers are a bad idea.
Our kid's teacher said the usual aftermath he saw on Mondays wasn't pretty.

No worse than the aftermath of the over-the-top bar and bat mitzvah.