Bisexual daughter and sleepovers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny, I remember some of the craziest pre-adult exploring encounters happening at sleepovers. My mom was in the middle of a divorce, so I slept over friends houses... A Lot.

Needless to say, sexual identity aside, we explored and watched soft porn and snuck shots of some weird peppermint schnapps from the bar and played truth or dare and did all sorts of selacious things I'd never repeat...

..and this was between the ages of 12-15.

No sleepovers after age 10 for my kids.

+1 lots of “exploring” between straight tweens... not sure bisexuality has anything to do with it

+2

[Anonymous]

Here is the question. Do you let the other girl's parents know your daughter is bisexual?

You can do whatever you want with your own daughter but your morality and values are not necessarily the same as everyone else's. When I send my kid over to a same sex sleepover I have an expectation of a sex free environment for my daughter. I'd never let my 15 year old have a sleepover at a boys house. My daughter is a minor and I do have control over what I allow or disallow her to do.

Seems like you need to fulfill your responsibility as the adult to inform other parents, otherwise you are imposing your lax standards on the children who you, as an adult, have volunteered to host for the evening.

[Anonymous]

Or that you need a better relationship with YOUR daughter - it would be up to HER to tell you if she were sleeping over the house of a girl who is her friend vs a girlfriend's house!

[Anonymous]

I would still allow group sleepovers, but have them in the living room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 15 year old daughter recently told us she is bisexual which my husband and I are completely comfortable with. However, we disagree with how to handle sleepovers. Personally I am very uncomfortable with the notion of her having female friends spend the night where it’s quite possible something sexual will happen. The way I see it, there’s no way in hell I would let her have a male friend spend the night, so why should I allow it with girls? My husband disagrees and thinks it would be cruel to limit her from having sleepovers with her female friends. He does absolutely agree that boys are completely out of the question for sleepovers.

Husband is a creep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or that you need a better relationship with YOUR daughter - it would be up to HER to tell you if she were sleeping over the house of a girl who is her friend vs a girlfriend's house!

My daughter is not bisexual, so there would be no girlfriend for her. I personally am fine with whatever sexual direction she chooses, and this is something we have talked about. My daughter is 15 and a minor, parents have a responsibility to watch out over their kids and know what kind of vulnerable situation you are placing them into.

I'd appreciate knowing if the host daughter was bisexual because if she was I would not let her attend, same as I would not let her sleep at a boys house.

Maybe another parent knows the host daughter is bisexual and is fine with a sleepover, that's not my business. My daughter is my business.

[Anonymous]

My daughter is lesbian and has been excluded from group sleepovers. It was painful for her and BTW, the girls were just friends, not girlfriends (straight girls).

Your house, your rules, I guess. Just understand there is a person with feeling on the other end.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely no sleepovers with girls unless they sleep in a separate room. My 13 year old 'bi' cousin is allowed to have sleepovers and she is covered in love bites in the morning, i am disgusted her parents allow it. they are allowing her to be sexual at 13, she is going to absolutely be having sex by next year in my opinion which is far too young and then will prob end up being the town bike by 15!!!!

[Anonymous]

I’m bi and definitely fooled around with girls at sleepovers. That said, it wasn’t typical, and my high school days wouldn’t have been nearly as cool if I hadn’t been able to sleep over at my best friend’s houses (and vice versa).

[Anonymous]

You want to deprive a teenage girl, who think she's gaynor bi, and might be, from having friends that are girls? Probably what she needs most at this time...

If your daughter is comfortable sharing her sexuality, hopefully she would share which girls she is interested in, versus girl that are friends. Thise she's interested in, or who are interested in her, do not sleep over. The rest are fine - every girl needs besties who can sleep over!

[Anonymous]

We've never let our dds go on sleepovers, because my dh comes from a very conservative culture and figured that nothing good really comes out of tween sleepovers. I always thought it was excessive, but now that I have teenagers I'm so happy we have set the precedent. Older has a cautious personality and I don't have a lot of concerns about (but who knows). Younger pushes the limits a lot more, gets in more trouble generally, and seems to be indicating pansexuality.

So much easier that we've already set limits on this!

[Anonymous]

This is another reason teens used to keep this sort of information from their parents until later. OPs dd has just excluded herself from having anymore sleepovers with anyone.

[Anonymous]

I think it would depend on how long she/ you have known the girl. Maybe?
I say this as a woman who has many sleepovers at my friends house who is bi, but she was never attracted to me or me her( I am heterosexual). We met in elementary school and were more like sisters than friends, so maybe you would be comfortable with an friend you know is just a friend?

[Anonymous]

At least you won’t worry about her getting pregnant if she has a girl sleep over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is the question. Do you let the other girl's parents know your daughter is bisexual?

You can do whatever you want with your own daughter but your morality and values are not necessarily the same as everyone else's. When I send my kid over to a same sex sleepover I have an expectation of a sex free environment for my daughter. I'd never let my 15 year old have a sleepover at a boys house. My daughter is a minor and I do have control over what I allow or disallow her to do.

Seems like you need to fulfill your responsibility as the adult to inform other parents, otherwise you are imposing your lax standards on the children who you, as an adult, have volunteered to host for the evening.

Um no. You don't have the right to out your daughter to all of her friend's parents. This is her identity, hers to tell when she is ready.

So much sly and outright bigotry still. The world will be better when more of them are dead