Bisexual daughter and sleepovers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 lgbt teens. I let them have sleepovers. It seems cruel to isolate them. I guess I agree with your DH. I’ve raised them with my values. They know my stance on topics related to drugs and sex. They’re good kids and follow rules in general, so I hope they’re respectful of these rules too.

The thing is, if they want to have sex, prohibiting sleepovers won’t prevent them. If I know they have a specific boyfriend/girlfriend, we don’t allow one on one sleepovers, but we’d allow a slumber party/group party. That’s our compromise.

Because no kid has ever gone against their parents stance regarding drugs and sex.

No, but what can you do besides arm them with knowledge and values and hope they make good decisions when presented with choices? If it’s not a sleepover, it’s going to happen elsewhere.

Seriously question: What have you found to work? Punishments, threats, micromanaging? That makes everyone in my family unhappy. Something else?

[Anonymous]

I mean, she can’t get pregnant with another girl, so what’s the big deal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous[b wrote:]Assuming she has had the HPV vaccine, two girls hooking up is less risky than a boy and a girl hooking up. She isn't going to get pregnant and while STDs are still a risk, it's not quite as big a risk. So, I don't think those two things compare.[/b]

I don't like the idea of her having sex in my house. Whether she can get pregnant or not - whether she gets a disease or not. Don't want her doing it here. Sorry.

+1- Something about having sex while I'm in another room would bother me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, she can’t get pregnant with another girl, so what’s the big deal?

The big deal to me is that it is morally wrong and thus I would not condone it in my home

[Anonymous]

I would not let her do any sleepovers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, she can’t get pregnant with another girl, so what’s the big deal?

The big deal to me is that it is morally wrong and thus I would not condone it in my home

Apparently this is a novel concept to some people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not let her do any sleepovers.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let her have the sleepovers. I plan to let my kids have boys sleep over too but then they have to be on birth control. Why does the thought of her experiencing sexual pleasure in your house bother you so much? I would be relieved that possible pregnancy would not be an issue.

I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom

This isn’t being a cool Mom vs. being a strict Mom. If your goal is to be the cool Mom you won’t succeed because that doesn’t exist. If you really just don’t feel uncomfortable with this issue, that’s your decision. I think it’s your house so you can decide. Other people’s have different rules.

OP I agree with the idea of separate sleeping areas. They can obviously still sneak around at night to hook up, but they can hook up outside your house also and you’re still setting a boundary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let her have the sleepovers. I plan to let my kids have boys sleep over too but then they have to be on birth control. Why does the thought of her experiencing sexual pleasure in your house bother you so much? I would be relieved that possible pregnancy would not be an issue.

I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom

This isn’t being a cool Mom vs. being a strict Mom. If your goal is to be the cool Mom you won’t succeed because that doesn’t exist. If you really just don’t feel uncomfortable with this issue, that’s your decision. I think it’s your house so you can decide. Other people’s have different rules.

OP I agree with the idea of separate sleeping areas. They can obviously still sneak around at night to hook up, but they can hook up outside your house also and you’re still setting a boundary.

You completely missed the PP’s Mean Girls reference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, she can’t get pregnant with another girl, so what’s the big deal?

The big deal to me is that it is morally wrong and thus I would not condone it in my home

But you are NOT OP. there is a different layer to your opinion on this that is not practical or helpful to op. Your posting here is driven solely by your wish to pet others know you think this is wrong. We get it. Buh bye

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let her have the sleepovers. I plan to let my kids have boys sleep over too but then they have to be on birth control. Why does the thought of her experiencing sexual pleasure in your house bother you so much? I would be relieved that possible pregnancy would not be an issue.

I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom

This isn’t being a cool Mom vs. being a strict Mom. If your goal is to be the cool Mom you won’t succeed because that doesn’t exist. If you really just don’t feel uncomfortable with this issue, that’s your decision. I think it’s your house so you can decide. Other people’s have different rules.

OP I agree with the idea of separate sleeping areas. They can obviously still sneak around at night to hook up, but they can hook up outside your house also and you’re still setting a boundary.

You completely missed the PP’s Mean Girls reference.

Well then I am truly ashamed of myself. Like, really.

[Anonymous]

I guess I'm in the minority here, but I have a daughter who identifies as a lesbian and... I feel like I lucked out?!

I mean, I suspected when she was younger, but when she came out, it was kind of a relief. I'm not saying she doesn't ever have to worry about being raped or assaulted, but I worry less. Also, totally dodging that whole teenage pregnancy bullet, you know?

Did I want her having sex at 14 or 15? No, but I wasn't as stressed about experimentation at those ages as I am with my heterosexual 15 year old son.

I've had all of the important sex talks with her, but in general, (and I'd never admit this out loud to my other kids) I don't care if she has premarital sex as long as she's safe and emotionally ready since she's going to be doing it with another woman and can't get pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, she can’t get pregnant with another girl, so what’s the big deal?

The big deal to me is that it is morally wrong and thus I would not condone it in my home

But you are NOT OP. there is a different layer to your opinion on this that is not practical or helpful to op. Your posting here is driven solely by your wish to pet others know you think this is wrong. We get it. Buh bye

OP here. I share this poster's sentiment and said in a prior post, that I do not want my daughter engaged in sexual behavior in my house period. Whether there is a risk of pregnancy or not. Those of you who are basically saying "just go ahead and let her have sex, who cares?" are not providing helpful responses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, she can’t get pregnant with another girl, so what’s the big deal?

The big deal to me is that it is morally wrong and thus I would not condone it in my home

But you are NOT OP. there is a different layer to your opinion on this that is not practical or helpful to op. Your posting here is driven solely by your wish to pet others know you think this is wrong. We get it. Buh bye

OP here. I share this poster's sentiment and said in a prior post, that I do not want my daughter engaged in sexual behavior in my house period. Whether there is a risk of pregnancy or not. Those of you who are basically saying "just go ahead and let her have sex, who cares?" are not providing helpful responses.

Can't you just ask your daughter whether it is just a friend, or she has a romantic interest in her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 15 year old daughter recently told us she is bisexual which my husband and I are completely comfortable with. However, we disagree with how to handle sleepovers. Personally I am very uncomfortable with the notion of her having female friends spend the night where it’s quite possible something sexual will happen. The way I see it, there’s no way in hell I would let her have a male friend spend the night, so why should I allow it with girls? My husband disagrees and thinks it would be cruel to limit her from having sleepovers with her female friends. He does absolutely agree that boys are completely out of the question for sleepovers.

Why do you care if she has sex with a girl? Not like she'll get pregnant.