Pansexual 8th Grader
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Anonymous
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One of my DD's best friends (female) just announced that she is a pansexual. The friend has displayed a lot of narcissistic/dramatic tendencies in the past, but I am at a loss for this recent sexual-orientation announcement. I am trying to understand this sexual orientation and read this thread on a 6th grade pansexual student:
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/679191.page Not sure what I am asking, but my DD is a bit impressionable and I worry about this other child's influence on her regarding this issue. Is pansexuality kind of "trendy" right now? I am open-minded to young adults embracing their sexuality, but I have honestly never encountered anyone of this orientation. |
Anonymous
| teach your child about self-respect, consent, disease, and pregnancy and leave her friends out of it |
Anonymous
| She's seeking attention. It's another, more trendy, way of saying bisexual. Bisexual covers all the necessary bases. |
Anonymous
| Yes, it's trendy. But it's not a big deal. What type of influence are you concerned about this having on your child? |
Anonymous
OP here. I'm not sure about what type of influence, just it was so odd for this girl to blurt out (in front of me) while talking to my DD and their other friend that she is a pansexual and all her Valentine's dating plans are "wide open." In general, my DD is not really into talking about dating, boys, etc. I know she has had "crushes" on male tv characters/celebrities. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
OP, you really don't have to do anything about it. Or even understand it. You can treat it the same way you would treat any other statement from this friend. "I love BTS." "My mom won't get me a new phone." "I'm pansexual and my Valentine's dating plans are wide open." All the same, in terms to your reactions to them - or rather, non-reactions. |
Anonymous
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OP I don't see it as odd. The comment seems like a pretty common way for a middle schooler to grab some attention. You already know she has narcissistic/dramatic tendencies.
Sometimes what tweens/teens are talking about isn't what they're really talking about. |
Anonymous
I looked it up- I'm old but open minded. I can't figure out the difference between pansexual and bisexual, except maybe it's more gender fluid? I have a MS boy- when it comes to his friends, I'm more concerned about behavior. It doesn't matter to me how other kids identify, and it's good for DS to have a variety of friends- I just don't want him hanging out with kids who are encouraging him down destructive paths of promiscuity, drugs, school failure, etc. I'm reading between the lines that you may not consider the friend's personality/attention seeking issues and pansexuality announcement to be mutually exclusive? I would think about on that one- you might not be as open minded as you think- or you think the other girl is manipulative, wants attention and drama, and you are skeptical about whether she is truly "pansexual." If it is the latter, advise your DD to be low key and not give it much attention. |
Anonymous
Not entirely accurate. Pansexuality is considered a more inclusive term than bisexuality, and indicates openness to those who do not identify with a gender binary (trans, intersex, etc). Some pansexuals also use the term to indicate openness toward polyamory/non-monogamy. |
Anonymous
OP here. Yes, you have expressed my feelings with the bolded. |
Anonymous
| These announcements are for attention and drama. Should ignore and go on with life. The only reason it would affect DD is if the friend develops a crush on her, let your DD know to.be herfselc and not feed into any drama, no matter what it is. |
Anonymous
| Yes - trendy right now. I have seen other kids the same age with this in their bio on social media. Just be open minded and use it as a conversation starter with your DD. |
Anonymous
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Your kid's friend's sexual orientation has ZERO impact on you.
Maybe she's being dramatic, or maybe she's articulating her sexual orientation. Either way, butt out. Also, consider that you're not as tolerant as you think you are. |
Anonymous
| Op, I have kid in high school and it seemed like a zillion kids in my kid’s Catholic school middle school were gay, pan, bi, trans, etc. They are kids figuring out who they are and they have a lot more freedom and acceptance to be whatever than many of us did. I smiled and ignored a lot of it. I encourage you to nod and smile. If the girl wants attention, let her seek it. You certainly don’t have to give it and if you express dislike, disapproval, etc., your son may feel the need to defend his friend to you. |