Regret having children
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Anonymous
| Does anyone else regret having children? |
Anonymous
Are yours launched? Why do you regret having them? |
Anonymous
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yes, many do:
https://www.facebook.com/IRegretHavingChildren/ |
Anonymous
| We have a child who we look forward to launching. Even though he has caused us a great deal of pain I don’t regret having him |
Anonymous
| I love my 4th BUT 3 kids would have been my preferred family size. DH and I agreed we would have 4 (his dream number) if we hit a certain HHI (at the time when I picked that number it sounded impossible to me) so I followed my end of the bargain. But I was pregnant at 25, 28, 32 and....37. And it was just too old for ME. I know its not "old" anymore but for me, at that time, it was hard to do it all again. But it doesn't make me regret him personally at all, I love him and all my kids. |
Anonymous
| I think if there was full disclosure many people would not have chosen to have children. If I had known how hard it was going to be and how much of my life would have been affected, I may have made a different choice. Once they are here, there is no going back. Both my children had special needs that needed to be addressed and made the hard core parenting years much more intensive and much longer. They are currently in college and the time spent ameliorating their issues has proven to be worth it, but during the long slow slog it was really really hard. My career was one of the casualties and DH's took a hit too. |
Anonymous
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No regrets! I’m more proud of the wonderful young adults we’ve raised than anything else we’ve ever accomplished. They are all married and parents themselves and I really enjoy when they ask me for advice on parenting, investing etc. and OMG do I ever adore my grandchildren. For part of the year we all live less then an hour apart and it’s a perfect day for me when we are all together.
I do feel very sad for those who regret having children and I feel sorry for their children. |
Anonymous
I am grateful that my mother was pretty clear with me on this. Yes, it was also hard knowing she regretted having kids, but it saved me from making the same mistake. Her words were basically 'think long and hard before you do it, because there's no way out for the rest of your life'. I am a content DINK with a fun, meaningful life, and I get to be honorary aunt to my friends' children. |
Anonymous
| If you regret having children, then you are a miserable, self-centered excuse for a human being, and very obviously a crappy parent. |
Anonymous
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Whatever you do, NEVER tell your kid you might not have had him/her, if you had known how difficult it is.
My mom has repeatedly told me, "I love you and your sister so much, but if I had known how emotionally draining raising children is, I don't know if I would have done it." Mind you, my sister and I were relatively easy kids--we did well in school, neither of us has special needs of any kind, we didn't do drugs/smoke/have sex or even skip class--and we're both married to nice guys and have professional careers. I'm sure you can imagine the number that has done to me, so please--just don't share your thoughts with your kid. |
Anonymous
| Honestly I don’t understand this. Yes, kids are emotionally draining, labor intensive etc but I adore mine with every fiber in my being. I think maternal (and paternal) instinct makes parents love unconditionally. I have a good career and marriage but what could be more important or fulfilling than to create and raise another human being. I don’t have a special needs child and I’m sure it’s extremely challenging. I do have a child that has ADHD and there have been hard times but never regret. |
Anonymous
| I never regret it, but nobody warns you about the teenage years. They can be awful. I have one of each. DD is off the grid bad and DS is the opposite. |
Anonymous
I think it’s sad that you can’t appreciate your mother’s honesty and insight. I was a surprise pregnancy for my parents and there is no way in hell they would have chosen to have me, but I know they love me. I’m not hung up about the fact that they would have made a different choice, if they’d had a choice. It’s not a reflection on me—it’s just a reflection of the fact that raising kids is damn hard and not something you should really do unless you’re well set up for it. Really, I think more people should be more honest about this. Your mother was trying to make sure your eyes were open and tell you it’s okah to choose not to go down that road. My MIL who is an awful person and was an awful mother, gushes no end about how being a mother is the most important thing and of course it’s the best thing she’s done. She has no insight or self-awareness at all. |
Anonymous
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Never. They are my joy in life. |
Anonymous
Oh there you are. Feel better now? |