How to announce a pet to disapproving parents?

[Anonymous]

Long story short, we have had a dog for a year and still haven't told my parents. This Christmas we would like to tell them we adopted a dog, since it seems like a good occasion. We communicate regularly and it's fatiguing to hide this fact, not to mention morally dubious. It's hard to find a balance between telling them about the important things in my life and receiving the inevitable nagging and lectures about how I should be doing things differently. Note that we are not seeing each other in person tomorrow, they live abroad and rarely visit this country.

My parents are negative and disapproving people in general: they're always worried that I'm taking on too much, and don't like anything that takes attention away from them: they didn't want me to have friends as a child, move out of their house as an adult, and weren't super enthused when I got married and had kids, even though they love their grandchildren. They're extremely anxious and rather controlling. I'm an only child and live far away as a result of their behavior.

Please help me find words to decrease their anxiety when they learn I have a dog! My father thinks all animals are unhygienic, my mother will think I'm doing too much. They will both worry that we won't be able to fly out to see them so often.
(Actually this dog is a lot of work - he's a high-maintenance breed, but I have no intention of telling them that, they know nothing about dogs!)

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

“Hey, we got a dog!”

“What a terrible idea...x y z....blah blah.”


“Oh well! It’s been fun! How’s Aunt Hilde’s sciatica?”

Be light hearted and keep changing the subject. It’s not up for debate.

[Anonymous]

I would casually work it into conversation. When the blather starts, hear out their concerns. If contact has been kept up as usual for the past year, I would then let it drop that all has been well and remained the same for the 12 months you have had him.

[Anonymous]

Wait. Are you an adult? Do they live with you? I truly cannot understand how this is an issue. Who cares what they think?

[Anonymous]

Why is this such an issue if your parents don't live with you and are not supporting you financially? Simply state that you now have a dog and let them say what they want.
My parents live in Asia and have dim views of how Americans treat their pets. I have two giant dogs and don't let ther comments affect me. I keep the dogs gated away from my parents rooms when they visit me and don't allow them to slobber over my parents but otherwise we stick to our routine.

[Anonymous]

I got a dog 10 years ago against my mom’s wishes and advice. I mean, I was (and at) an adult, so she’ll just have to deal with it. I got the expected lecture, but over the years she’s grown to love my dog so much. She’s the apple of her eye and loves to babysit her. Just rip the Bandaid off and tell her. Let her get the lecture out of her system, and move on.

[Anonymous]

I got a dog 10 years ago against my mom’s wishes and advice. I mean, I was (and at) an adult, so she’ll just have to deal with it. I got the expected lecture, but over the years she’s grown to love my dog so much. She’s the apple of her eye and loves to babysit her. Just rip the Bandaid off and tell her. Let her get the lecture out of her system, and move on.

[Anonymous]

It's funny how different cultures react to this. I get what you mean OP but unless your parents are visiting you, why would you tell them anything?

[Anonymous]

If you can’t manage this you shouldn’t have a dog or children.

[Anonymous]

My family is like this. But guess what I don't care about their opinions because I'm an adult and take care of myself. Say you got a dog, love him/her and then change the subject. Do you always get this nervous about non-issues like this? You might have anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Hey... we have a dog.

"They are filthy"

"I know you think that."

"You're doing too much"

"I'm actually fine. Anyway....."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait. Are you an adult? Do they live with you? I truly cannot understand how this is an issue. Who cares what they think?

+1

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't have some big declaration. Just mention it or don't mention it the same way you would a friend or whatever. If you mention the dog and it should be like yeah of course we have a dog, everyone has a dog, we've had a dog for a year, why would we NOT have a dog. I would neither hide it nor make a big declaration about it.

[Anonymous]

Why do you need to spring it on them that you have a dog? Are they coming to visit? Why is this information you need to share?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this such an issue if your parents don't live with you and are not supporting you financially? Simply state that you now have a dog and let them say what they want.
My parents live in Asia and have dim views of how Americans treat their pets. I have two giant dogs and don't let ther comments affect me. I keep the dogs gated away from my parents rooms when they visit me and don't allow them to slobber over my parents but otherwise we stick to our routine.

What does the bolded mean?