How to announce a pet to disapproving parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bitch
I got a bitch
Fight me

Post of the year!!!

[Anonymous]

I don't see how therapy can help OP. She doesn't need to shell out $120 for some stranger to tell her she is cowed by her parents and that it is an issue. It is an issue to Americans but it's not a problem in other cultures so just let it be. Maybe OP will come to the realization one day that NOTHING she does is going to be okay with her parents and eventually she'll just give up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this such an issue if your parents don't live with you and are not supporting you financially? Simply state that you now have a dog and let them say what they want.
My parents live in Asia and have dim views of how Americans treat their pets. I have two giant dogs and don't let ther comments affect me. I keep the dogs gated away from my parents rooms when they visit me and don't allow them to slobber over my parents but otherwise we stick to our routine.

What does the bolded mean?

That's because some asians eat dogs.

There's a horrific festival called the Yulin Dog Festival & not only do they take strays but steal people's pets for meat for the festival.

The worst part is they believe the dog is tastiest after it's been tortured, something about the adrenaline running through the meat.

Do NOT google it if you like/love dogs... trust me, you'll never get the images out of your head.

[Anonymous]

Do you let your parents to run your marriage and family? Unless they let you run their marriage,
don't let them run yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you let your parents to run your marriage and family? Unless they let you run their marriage,
don't let them run yours.

Maybe the parents finance their marriage. Based on the tiptoeing and giving into IL posts that appear here I suspect quite a bit of that is happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this such an issue if your parents don't live with you and are not supporting you financially? Simply state that you now have a dog and let them say what they want.
My parents live in Asia and have dim views of how Americans treat their pets. I have two giant dogs and don't let ther comments affect me. I keep the dogs gated away from my parents rooms when they visit me and don't allow them to slobber over my parents but otherwise we stick to our routine.

What does the bolded mean?

+1 I am curious too. Asians are know to eat dog and have mass slaughters of dogs. Hmm, dim view?

Take a chill pill and read some of the previous posts where this has been addressed. People are allowed to have opinions different from yours.

So how do you prefer your dog dish prepared?

Why do people think Asians eat dogs? We don't. Maybe in some parts of Asia but don't tarnish the rest of us.

They're magically delicious.

[Anonymous]

Pick one of the following:

"What's up, bitches...I'm gettin' a dog!"

or

"What up, dawg...I'm gettin' a bitch!"

[Anonymous]

What if they disapprove of your carpet, kid’s clothing and spouse’s haircut as well? How much conrol do you give them over your life?

“Oh I well know you don’t approve of pets but they’re common here and the kids really enjoy having a dog like their friends. It’s never going to be an issue for you so no need to mention it anymore. How’s the weather?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP here with an update!

I sent photos of our Christmas, including one of the kids with the dog. A really lovely, sweet, picture.

Now I just have to concoct a story of how we just got this dog before the inevitable phone call tomorrow.

Did you pay zero attention to the previous posts? Do you plan to read the posts that follow this one? Do what a poster above says and tell your mom you've had the dog a while. Then do what a couple of us also said and find a therapist.

Do not "concoct a story." Stop that immaturity. You own the dog, now it's time to own your choices and stop catering to mom's critical ways by bending yourself into a pretzel to lie to her.

I've said it above but here goes again: Are you going to keep concocting stories for mom when the stakes are MUCH higher than a dog? Do you plan to lie to her the rest of your life and create stories when you fear she'll object to something one of your kids does? Adults don't act this way, OP. For your kids' sake stop the concocting and get help for your fear of mom's disapproval.

OP here.

That's why I'm exhausted, PP. I have fought enough big battles regarding my son's health (my family disagrees with treatment and therapies), my husband's job, and my own health/career to care about lying about minor things. This is what a dysfunctional family looks like. I need to keep my energy for the things that matter.

Update. I expected the Inquisition. It has been postponed (or may never happen) because a close relative has been diagnosed with cancer.

[Anonymous]

Read Your Perfect Right

Work on your boundaries

I get it. I’m always trying to manage my mother’s anxiety. But we don’t need to. And shouldn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP here with an update!

I sent photos of our Christmas, including one of the kids with the dog. A really lovely, sweet, picture.

Now I just have to concoct a story of how we just got this dog before the inevitable phone call tomorrow.

Did you pay zero attention to the previous posts? Do you plan to read the posts that follow this one? Do what a poster above says and tell your mom you've had the dog a while. Then do what a couple of us also said and find a therapist.

Do not "concoct a story." Stop that immaturity. You own the dog, now it's time to own your choices and stop catering to mom's critical ways by bending yourself into a pretzel to lie to her.

I've said it above but here goes again: Are you going to keep concocting stories for mom when the stakes are MUCH higher than a dog? Do you plan to lie to her the rest of your life and create stories when you fear she'll object to something one of your kids does? Adults don't act this way, OP. For your kids' sake stop the concocting and get help for your fear of mom's disapproval.

OP here.

That's why I'm exhausted, PP. I have fought enough big battles regarding my son's health (my family disagrees with treatment and therapies), my husband's job, and my own health/career to care about lying about minor things. This is what a dysfunctional family looks like. I need to keep my energy for the things that matter.

Update. I expected the Inquisition. It has been postponed (or may never happen) because a close relative has been diagnosed with cancer.

The context you give here does help, OP. I'd stop phone calls and communicate some other way like email or even snail mail if your mom is this critical about a child's medical issues. We have family overseas and with one person we communicate only by mail and return phone calls rarely and only when we initiate the return call-we don't pick up, we only initiate.

Did you feel you have to hide and fudge details about your child's treatment etc.? That would be awful.

[Anonymous]

Don't tell them OP. If the dog barks while they are on the phone or someone mentions the dog, just say, oh yeah, we got a dog. And start talking about something else.

I have similar parents and have accepted that they just don't care about things like healthy functional families. Can't expect any emotional support or even optimism. Therapy helped.

[Anonymous]

To the PP who posted about the dog-eating festival, that's really only by some Chinese people. Don't make it about Asians.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the PP who posted about the dog-eating festival, that's really only by some Chinese people. Don't make it about Asians.

That pp wrote "some" Asians.
Is China not located in Asia anymore?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this such an issue if your parents don't live with you and are not supporting you financially? Simply state that you now have a dog and let them say what they want.
My parents live in Asia and have dim views of how Americans treat their pets. I have two giant dogs and don't let ther comments affect me. I keep the dogs gated away from my parents rooms when they visit me and don't allow them to slobber over my parents but otherwise we stick to our routine.

What does the bolded mean?

+1 I am curious too. Asians are know to eat dog and have mass slaughters of dogs. Hmm, dim view?

Take a chill pill and read some of the previous posts where this has been addressed. People are allowed to have opinions different from yours.

So how do you prefer your dog dish prepared?

Why do people think Asians eat dogs? We don't. Maybe in some parts of Asia but don't tarnish the rest of us.

Where did I say or imply that you were Asian, or that I believe all Asians eat dog? I do, however, think that people who get super defensive about being allowed to have different opinions are guilty of the act in question. Also, do you not think that your "some parts of Asia" is inhabited by Asians? Should i wait for you to write a response that confirms basic reading comprehension and is and devoid of contradictions?