Are friends who don't text me back really even my friends?

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[Post New]12/19/2018 10:50
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Anonymous
Maybe men are worse at texting than women, but it's common for some of my friends to go weeks without responding to a question or even an invitation.

Then we we hang out in person (including cases where they invite me), we're back to being buddy-buddy, but when it comes to texting, they disappear completely.

Maybe our friendship is just not a very high priority for them. I don't get it. One of my friends hasn't texted me back for a month! In that time I texted him on 3 different days including this morning.
[Post New]12/19/2018 11:06
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Anonymous
Eh. I'm not a texter. It takes me so much time to text back and forth when we could have had a 2-minute phone conversation. I guess I am just old fashioned. I don't want to engage in a text conversation. I'm too busy - work, young kids, etc.
[Post New]12/19/2018 11:08
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Eh. I'm not a texter. It takes me so much time to text back and forth when we could have had a 2-minute phone conversation. I guess I am just old fashioned. I don't want to engage in a text conversation. I'm too busy - work, young kids, etc.


But do you let questions and invitations go ignored for weeks? Or do you call the person back in response to a text?
[Post New]12/19/2018 11:09
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Anonymous
Do they prefer email or chatting?
[Post New]12/19/2018 11:10
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Anonymous
People have lives.
[Post New]12/19/2018 11:13
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Anonymous
Woman here. I am awful at texting. Honestly I'm awful at all the in-between stuff. I'm great in person, its like we were never apart, but I'm just terrible at maintenance.

I am a person who comes across as very extroverted but who is actually kind of introverted and engaging in social behavior when I'm alone is REALLY hard for me. I have to be in the right mood. I honestly can't be friends with people that need a lot of the in-between. Its fine if you need it, but you should just accept that some people are crap at it. I don't think they should expect you to change, and you shouldn't expect them to change.
[Post New]12/19/2018 11:15
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Anonymous
Sometimes I will read a text when I'm not in a position to respond and then I forget...
[Post New]12/19/2018 12:04
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Anonymous
It seems super rude to do this

I don't get why people are so casual about ignoring people for days
[Post New]12/19/2018 12:08
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Anonymous
Is there a specific question in the text? If it's just FYI and no question, some people just don't respond cause there's no question to respond to. Like, "I will be 10 minutes late." Ok, do you expect me to respond to that? It's just a statement.

Some people hate this back/forth texting. It's annoying. Three text back and forth is all that is doable for many.

But, if you ask for example, hey, want to go out. No response for days. That means that person doesn't want to go out with you. What's would be rude is if they didn't even acknowledge the question when you saw them in person. If person doesn't even approach you to talk, forget it. Whatever relationship you think you had isn't there. Drop it.


[Post New]12/19/2018 12:46
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Anonymous
I sometimes read them when I am very busy--in middle of something...then a sh*tload more come in and push yours to the bottom of my feed. I completely forget about them since I am so frickin' strapped.

But, don't worry it happens to my relatives as well. My mom will call and ask if I received such and such text.
[Post New]12/19/2018 12:46
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Woman here. I am awful at texting. Honestly I'm awful at all the in-between stuff. I'm great in person, its like we were never apart, but I'm just terrible at maintenance.

I am a person who comes across as very extroverted but who is actually kind of introverted and engaging in social behavior when I'm alone is REALLY hard for me. I have to be in the right mood. I honestly can't be friends with people that need a lot of the in-between. Its fine if you need it, but you should just accept that some people are crap at it. I don't think they should expect you to change, and you shouldn't expect them to change.


Same here.
[Post New]12/19/2018 12:47
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I will read a text when I'm not in a position to respond and then I forget...


This 110%
[Post New]12/19/2018 12:47
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Anonymous
I hate text. If I'm at my computer or have my phone I will respond but I go days at home where I don't leave or touch my cell phone so I wouldn't even get your text.
[Post New]12/19/2018 12:53
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Anonymous
Ever since having kids I just CANNOT text back. I try but it's not working. I'm sorry but I'm just half brain dead. I open a text during a middle of the night feeding and I can't get around to writing a reply. Nothing is wrong with my friends. I think a lot of it is that I'm doing 100x more multitasking than I ever did before and I have very little sleep.
[Post New]12/19/2018 14:53
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Anonymous
I'm generally pretty good about texting, but I occasionally miss one. And then I see it later (much later) and I"m like "oh crap."

That said... if you are someone who texts A LOT... sometimes I stop responding after a certain point because if I respond it never ends. If I stop responding I don't get bombarded. I have a friend on the West coast who doesn't have many friends so he texts me WAY more than anyone else does. It's a lot. And if you respond, he'll text you three more times. But if you stop texting, he'll stop for a bit. I don't always want to be constantly on my phone, but I also don't want to tell him outright and maybe hurt his feelings.
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