Spelling daughter's name wrong: Correct? Passive agressive?

[Anonymous]

My daughter (5) has had a best friend since early on in the daycare days. We see the family socially every few weeks for play dates, birthday parties, etc.

The mom always, ALWAYS spells my daughter's name incorrectly. It's not an unusual name--think correct spelling is Lindsey and this mom always spells it Lindsay.

Obviously, not a big deal. But we text a lot to make arrangements, and why would it go like this?

Me: Lindsey is eager to see Julia! How about next Sunday at our place at 10?

Her: Julia would love to see Lindsay next weekend!

Birthday cards, invitations, texts, emails, EVERYTHING is misspelled, even though she sees her name in writing a LOT. Their cubbies were next to each other in daycare.

Should I say something? Or (being paranoid here), is this intentional/passive agressive? I cannot imagine why, but why would you respond to a text where you saw the correct spelling two seconds ago with the incorrect spelling?

[Anonymous]

I have some friends who are Kristin instead of Kristen. I didn't really notice it for years. Now I make an effort to get it right. She's probably oblivious, perhaps self-centered too.

[Anonymous]

I doubt she’s doing it on purpose. She might not even notice the difference.

Lindsey/Lindsay is hard to remember. Kind of like Gayle/Gail, but even harder because it is a one letter difference at the end of the word.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, Lindsey/Lindsay is something that I misspell a lot. That name happens to be the name of my good friends child and I've known the kid for 20 yrs. It's just something that doesn't stick in my brain. It's not intentional.

For something like her graduation check, I checked and double checked the spelling of her name. Often, I'll just refer to her as L in a text or email so I don't have to spell it out.

Otherwise, I'm sorry. I spelled it wrong. I can apologize but I just can't get it to stick.

[Anonymous]

Could be a phone autocorrect issue as well. I also admit to getting mixed up between Jen vs. Jenn, etc.

[Anonymous]

no one cares or notices the exact spelling of your child's name. it only matters to you. what difference does it make

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I doubt she’s doing it on purpose. She might not even notice the difference.

Lindsey/Lindsay is hard to remember. Kind of like Gayle/Gail, but even harder because it is a one letter difference at the end of the word.

+1 I wouldn’t think it’s passive aggressive at all.

[Anonymous]

My own grandmother never mastered the spelling of my name. I don’t believe she was intentionally passive aggressive. I have a friend whom I’ve known for years who misspells my name from time to time. Some people are just like that. If this other mom is perfectly lovely in general, look past this flaw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:no one cares or notices the exact spelling of your child's name. it only matters to you. what difference does it make

OP here. You're all right, I see that, I really do. I don't notice as much if she texts FIRST to see if "Lindsay" wants to come over. But if I JUST texted "Lindsey" and it is right there in front of her...I just don't understand.

[Anonymous]

I find Lindsay/Lindsey to be one of the hardest names to remember how to spell. One of my co-workers is Lindsay and I still double-check when sending her an email. I’m generally a great speller and my professional field is communications— it’s not like spelling is typically a challenge for me. Why don’t you just tell your friend directly how to spell it?

[Anonymous]

I'm friends with a Lindsay and I have to double check every time I write her name to make sure I have the correct one. I would assume best intentions about the other mom. People always reverse the vowels in my name (even relatives), it's not malicious.

[Anonymous]

I can't tell you how many people spell my daughter's name Sara/Sarah. It's not a referendum on how much they like her.

[Anonymous]

Stop with your passive-aggressive way of handling it. Send her a text that says “My daughter’s name is actually spelled this way.”

[Anonymous]

I would ignore. Trivial. Only mention if it bothers your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:no one cares or notices the exact spelling of your child's name. it only matters to you. what difference does it make

OP here. You're all right, I see that, I really do. I don't notice as much if she texts FIRST to see if "Lindsay" wants to come over. But if I JUST texted "Lindsey" and it is right there in front of her...I just don't understand.

She probably doesn’t even notice the difference, even when it is right in front of her in a text. Is the “ay” spelling more common than the “ey” spelling? Maybe that’s the spelling she is accustomed to.