Spelling daughter's name wrong: Correct? Passive agressive?

[Anonymous]

My friend kept spelling my name Ashely for the three years I knew her. I finally said you know it's just Ashley right? And she genuinely thought it was Ashely and pronounced Ash-e-lee. She apologized and now spells it correctly.

[Anonymous]

This is why you give your child a name that has only one spelling. Makes life so much easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could be a phone autocorrect issue as well. I also admit to getting mixed up between Jen vs. Jenn, etc.

This. Even my ex occasionally texts me with our child’s name misspelled with”ph”.

[Anonymous]

She nay have someone else in her life that soelks it the other way and gets confused. I have a carol and a Carole and I’m sure I get the spellings mixed up sometimes. This is so not a big deal, OP.

[Anonymous]

I never remember who is a Lindsey and who is a Lindsay and always needs to look it up. Very thankful to the ones who go by linds as nickname! I think it wasn't until after graduating high school that I learned there were to two ways to spell it, and I had had friends for nanny years with each spelling.

Same with hanna Hannah hana and Sarah Sara and lynne Lynn lin.

It's not personal!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have some friends who are Kristin instead of Kristen. I didn't really notice it for years. Now I make an effort to get it right. She's probably oblivious, perhaps self-centered too.

This. I doubt it’s intentional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop with your passive-aggressive way of handling it. Send her a text that says “My daughter’s name is actually spelled this way.”

This isn't fair. I take ownership that I haven't addressed it with her/brought it up/corrected her, but I have NOT been passive aggessive about it. I have not written to her or communicated with her in a way any different than I do with any of our other friends.

If you are sending her texts with your daughter’s name in them, and part of you expects she will predictably reply with the misspelling, and then you predictably get annoyed (all of which you describe in your OP), and this keeps happening, and you keep not saying anything to her but instead just continue on with the cycle of becoming annoyed—yeah, that’s actually the definition of passive aggressive. You’re not handling it directly. You’re expecting her to change her behavior based on a passive action of yours (sending her texts mentioning your daughter.)

It’s not a big deal— next time she does it, just tell her! The name is probably in her phone dictionary with that spelling and is automatically inserted into her texts. But if you keep getting upset and don’t say anything, it’s on you.

[Anonymous]

Lindsey is boy spelling

Lindsay is girl

Francis is boy

Frances is girl

Marion is boy

Marian is girl

Not that hard.

[Anonymous]

My kids have been in the same class one year or another with a:
Hayley and Hailey
Jayden and Jaeden
Caitlyn and Caylin
Bella and Bela and Isabella (or maybe it was Isabelle or Isabela)
Aiden and Aidan

Your friend isn't being passive aggressive. If it bothers you point it out to her next time she texts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:no one cares or notices the exact spelling of your child's name. it only matters to you. what difference does it make

OP here. You're all right, I see that, I really do. I don't notice as much if she texts FIRST to see if "Lindsay" wants to come over. But if I JUST texted "Lindsey" and it is right there in front of her...I just don't understand.

Autocorrect remembers unique words you use a lot. Her autocorrect surely now fills in the version she initially used, and she's not typing out the misspelling every time. I feel like you're somewhat looking for reasons to assume she's doing this intentionally as a slight.

As for invitations etc., like the PP who said it won't stick, this mom likely has that same issue. I see how it can get to you but it sounds like the relationship is warm--because there ARE invitations, etc.

Have you ever corrected her? Did you do it early on? If not--that's an issue. A friend has a name that is pronounced a certain way and a person we both know always says it wrong. But she didn't correct this person at the start and now the wrong pronunciation is so ingrained, and he assumes it's right, I'm sure, as she has never corrected him on it. (Before someone asks, I tried to say, "Oh, it's X" giving the right pronunciation long ago, but he didn't seem to hear it and...she just won't correct him.) So if you haven't clearly said, by the way, it's spelled.... Then she likely has that very slightly wrong spelling ingrained. She'd probably be mortified to know how consistently she misspells it.

It's a bit strange to me that you wonder if it's passive-aggressive because you indicate no reason why she would have something against you or your child; wouldn't her being passive aggressive mean she was somehow resentful of you or trying to undermine you? Why? Like I said--this is annoying but do you really want to seek out an intentional slight here? Why be negative like that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lindsey is boy spelling

Lindsay is girl

Francis is boy

Frances is girl

Marion is boy

Marian is girl

Not that hard.

I love people who state inviolable rules. Did you actually look up those names? Marion with an O is used for both girls and boys but more commonly for girls, and is a variant of Mary. My MIL was a Marion. So were several of my mom's female friends. So was Marion Morrison, better known by his stage name, John Wayne.

As for Lindsey/Lindsay both spellings were in the top 100 names for girls for more than a decade into the 1990s. Look it up. So much for your hard and fast rules.

[Anonymous]

I really think this is a spell-check / auto-correct issue with the app. If you point it out to her then maybe she will add the correct spelling to her Dictionary and the problem will be solved.

[Anonymous]

I have a name like OP’s daughter. Think: Kelley vs. Kelly.
My good friend spells is wrong so frequently that after repeated attempts to get me clearance to visit her on a local base - with the wrong name spelling - I now have some watch out on my name.

Some people are super oblivious.

[Anonymous]

Geez - just start badly misspelling her DD’s name and then gave a conversation about it where you go over thing.

Can Yuulia come over and play? How is Yuulia doing today?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Geez - just start badly misspelling her DD’s name and then have a conversation about it where you go over things.

Can Yuulia come over and play? How is Yuulia doing today?