Spelling daughter's name wrong: Correct? Passive agressive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:no one cares or notices the exact spelling of your child's name. it only matters to you. what difference does it make

OP here. You're all right, I see that, I really do. I don't notice as much if she texts FIRST to see if "Lindsay" wants to come over. But if I JUST texted "Lindsey" and it is right there in front of her...I just don't understand.

If it helps you to understand, I am a professional in my 40's who has many learning disabilities that are severe. I LITERALLY could not see a difference in spelling in your OP and I read it twice. I finally used my fingers to cover the two names and showed myself one letter at a time to finally find the letters that didn't match. I also didn't see the difference from the poster who used the Kristen/Kristin example.

I don't tell anyone I have learning disabilities. I just screw things up and apologize a lot when I figure it out or get called out on it.

I was going to say the same exact thing as this op. I do not have a learning disability. In fact, I am an English major, grammar girl, diagramming stickler. HOWEVER, I have a daughter who has dyslexia (dyslexia is biological, but my daughter came to us via adoption) and so I have learned that there are those who really cannot see these things, op. It has forced me to accept that it IS possible (even though it may test credulity, yours and mine) that others' brains do not see these things. For real. So, though I can understand your feelings, I really can, I might humbly suggest that we all have literacy skills on a spectrum, and it is entirely possible that she is in fact not doing it to annoy you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Geez - just start badly misspelling her DD’s name and then have a conversation about it where you go over things.

Can Yuulia come over and play? How is Yuulia doing today?

Now THAT is passive aggressive. Don't be that person.

[Anonymous]

I can't tell the difference anyway. Somewhere she saw it spelled her way and why on earth is this an issue? Nobody pays attention. For example, my good friends is Cindy, now DD has a friend who is Sidney, and another similar spelling. It has all jumbled up. Also about Dyland, and Dillan, Haley and Hailey, people do not look at every letter, they read it by memory mostly. She knows somebody with her spelling.

[Anonymous]

I can't tell the difference anyway. Somewhere she saw it spelled her way and why on earth is this an issue? Nobody pays attention. For example, my good friends is Cindy, now DD has a friend who is Sidney, and another similar spelling. It has all jumbled up. Also about Dylan, and Dillan, Haley and Hailey, people do not look at every letter, they read it by memory mostly. She knows somebody with her spelling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Geez - just start badly misspelling her DD’s name and then have a conversation about it where you go over things.

Can Yuulia come over and play? How is Yuulia doing today?

Now THAT is passive aggressive. Don't be that person.

It’s illustrative

[Anonymous]

Well the Emily Post solution to this problem is to wait until she gets your daughter something personalized with the wrong spelling, then go off RH style with hair pulling and screaming.

[Anonymous]

people (even close friends and relatives) spell my name wrong all the time. It does make me a little sad when they do, though I tell myself that they just use the automatic, more common spelling. (Mine isn't weird, just the less common way. Similar to Sara vs Sarah or something. Or the Lindsay example. It is weird, I tell myself it has nothing to do with how much they value me, but it still sort of feels like it does. I am very careful to spell people's names right. Also to pronounce them correctly. (I will often ask a couple times to make sure I have the pronunciation correct, if it's foreign name).

[Anonymous]

I have several people in my address book with names that are spelled in a few different correct ways: there are all the Brittanys, the Lindsey/says, the double-single-"l" Michelles and Allisons ...

And then there are the people who use unusual spellings of common names, like Jaime (for a woman) or Robyn.

I have to look them up and verify every time. Sometimes I forget. Sometimes my phone picks a different spelling. I try, and I can see how it might make it seem like you aren't as close as you thought you were, but it's hard not to see your friend's side, too.

Just say something. I bet she says, "Oh! I never noticed."

[Anonymous]

If I’m doing voice to text it NEVER spells my DD’s name right. Half the time I don’t fix it.
Not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Does it even matter? Is she buying your daughter personalized items with the name spelled wrong?
I bet she doesn't even see the difference, or her phone is auto-filling/auto-correcting. Or she has a good friend or family member or co-worker who uses the other spelling and she's just used to that spelling. The fact that you even think this is passive-aggressive is a sign that you are overly sensitive. If you didn't correct it early on, your best bet now is to wait until your kid notices, and let her say something.

[Anonymous]

Lindsay is one of those names you just won't remember. Same with Kristen or Kirsten, Kristine, Christine or something entirely different. These names are the ones i wanted to avoid when naming my child. It's like the name Tom, you can't get that wrong, it's TOM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two friends who are Brian and one who is Bryan. I swear to God I cannot remember which one is which. I'm getting it wrong constantly.

Ah, the highly embarrassing story about how I discovered I'd been misspelling a coworker's name for months. We had two Bryans at work but I'd seen one mostly in print and mostly heard the name of the other. I probably saw his name in print several times but never processed the spelling. Then in a big meeting, we began discussing "Bryan" and of course I asked if it was the Bryan with a 'y' or the Brian with an 'i'.

TL;DR: Don't assume malicious intent. People make mistakes like this all the time, especially if they're a more auditory person.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend Melody and a co-worker Melony.

And I get their names mixed up ALL the TIME and it's two totally different names! It's embarrassing.

[Anonymous]

She is not trying or does not notice. It I obvious to you because it is ypur kids name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:no one cares or notices the exact spelling of your child's name. it only matters to you. what difference does it make

OP here. You're all right, I see that, I really do. I don't notice as much if she texts FIRST to see if "Lindsay" wants to come over. But if I JUST texted "Lindsey" and it is right there in front of her...I just don't understand.

If it helps you to understand, I am a professional in my 40's who has many learning disabilities that are severe. I LITERALLY could not see a difference in spelling in your OP and I read it twice. I finally used my fingers to cover the two names and showed myself one letter at a time to finally find the letters that didn't match. I also didn't see the difference from the poster who used the Kristen/Kristin example.

I don't tell anyone I have learning disabilities. I just screw things up and apologize a lot when I figure it out or get called out on it.

I was going to say the same exact thing as this op. I do not have a learning disability. In fact, I am an English major, grammar girl, diagramming stickler. HOWEVER, I have a daughter who has dyslexia (dyslexia is biological, but my daughter came to us via adoption) and so I have learned that there are those who really cannot see these things, op. It has forced me to accept that it IS possible (even though it may test credulity, yours and mine) that others' brains do not see these things. For real. So, though I can understand your feelings, I really can, I might humbly suggest that we all have literacy skills on a spectrum, and it is entirely possible that she is in fact not doing it to annoy you.

My DH has mild dyslexia which mostly impacts his spelling. I once spent several minutes with his written dinner order trying to figure out what "cuesadia" meant. He relies on autocorrect and would literally never notice a misspelling like this.