DC Urban Moms Farce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who actually swallows once they get the ring anyway?

I was supposed to swallow BEFORE I got the ring. Maybe that's why DH says he's done with me.

Smart girls rarely swallow.

They should. Protein grows brain cells.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who actually swallows once they get the ring anyway?

I was supposed to swallow BEFORE I got the ring. Maybe that's why DH says he's done with me.

Smart girls rarely swallow.

They should. Protein grows brain cells.

Can someone recommend an alternative brain cell supplement. DC didn't get into Beauvoir this year. Not even waitlisted. But I'm already working on getting that WPPSI score improved.

[Anonymous]

Help!!! My 18 month old DS's favorite toy is a doll! Is it too soon for therapy? I can't tell my DH because I know he will disown him and blame me for not swallowing while I was preggo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Help!!! My 18 month old DS's favorite toy is a doll! Is it too soon for therapy? I can't tell my DH because I know he will disown him and blame me for not swallowing while I was preggo.

That depends on what type of snacks you pack in your bag for your toddler when you are out doing errands.
Shame on you for not being smart enough to use your brain and figure out which snack foods are non perishable. No wonder you have no mom friends.

[Anonymous]

I strongly suspect my 4-month-old is highly gifted. Does anyone know of a reputable IQ tester for this age group?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Help!!! My 18 month old DS's favorite toy is a doll! Is it too soon for therapy? I can't tell my DH because I know he will disown him and blame me for not swallowing while I was preggo.

Oh, my, god . . . swallowing while I was preggo. And to think all I had was a V-8. No wonder DS got rejected from Beauvoir.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Help!!! My 18 month old DS's favorite toy is a doll! Is it too soon for therapy? I can't tell my DH because I know he will disown him and blame me for not swallowing while I was preggo.

Oh, my, god . . . swallowing while I was preggo. And to think all I had was a V-8. No wonder DS got rejected from Beauvoir.

99% of the "99-percenters" had DCUMs who swallowed while they were preggo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is 25, is still breastfeeding & cosleeping. It is starting to get in the way of my professional life & my marriage. Any thoughts?

He doesn't wear a flag pin, does he? That should have been a telltale sign. It's absence is the root of all evil. Pick one up from CVS, pin it on the fu@#ker, and all will be right with the world.

[Anonymous]

[quote][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Who actually swallows once they get the ring anyway?[/quote]

I was supposed to swallow BEFORE I got the ring. Maybe that's why DH says he's done with me.[/quote]

Smart girls rarely swallow.[/quote]

They should. Protein grows brain cells.[/quote]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is 25, is still breastfeeding & cosleeping. It is starting to get in the way of my professional life & my marriage. Any thoughts?

He doesn't wear a flag pin, does he? That should have been a telltale sign. It's absence is the root of all evil. Pick one up from CVS, pin it on the fu@#ker, and all will be right with the world.

25 and still breastfeeding and cosleeping? Should have swallowed when preggo. Then your DS wouldn't be that oh so rare non-99 percenter. Don't complain now. That seed was planted a long time ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I strongly suspect my 4-month-old is highly gifted. Does anyone know of a reputable IQ tester for this age group?

Did you swallow? That's really the only way to tell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I strongly suspect my 4-month-old is highly gifted. Does anyone know of a reputable IQ tester for this age group?

Did you swallow? That's really the only way to tell.

If I didn't, does that make our DC "diverse" for Big 3 application purposes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Help!!! My 18 month old DS's favorite toy is a doll! Is it too soon for therapy? I can't tell my DH because I know he will disown him and blame me for not swallowing while I was preggo.

That depends on what type of snacks you pack in your bag for your toddler when you are out doing errands.
Shame on you for not being smart enough to use your brain and figure out which snack foods are non perishable. No wonder you have no mom friends.

[Anonymous]

[b] :D

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Help!!! My 18 month old DS's favorite toy is a doll! Is it too soon for therapy? I can't tell my DH because I know he will disown him and blame me for not swallowing while I was preggo.

That depends on what type of snacks you pack in your bag for your toddler when you are out doing errands.
Shame on you for not being smart enough to use your brain and figure out which snack foods are non perishable. No wonder you have no mom friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK here goes- I saw your nanny(well, I think it was your nanny because the grown-up had dark-hair, wore light up shoes and spoke only Swahili and the child she was with was blond, blue-eyed, still an embryo and yet had been accepted at Sidwell Friends), dressing the child in a Marc Jacobs bikini when it was -13 outside, texting with her pimp when the child was crossing 495 near Georgia Ave without appropriate supervision. When the child complained about tire tracks all over her new swim suit, the nanny smacked the child with a stalk of celery, threw him into the trunk of her '03 Land Rover, proceeded to lecture the child about Scientology(I was able to overhear all this with my touchscreen Blackberry) and obviously headed to the mall to shop with the unhappy America's next top model in tow. WWYD, WTF, should I call my DH, or my BFF or my S(shrink) to help me deal with this on the way to my mani/pedi assumed to be applied by an Asian person( and if it isn't, I'm contacting my lawyer-hey any excuse to call my DH and complain is a good excuse)----grades, please.

Hey, I thought this was pretty good-B-