DC Urban Moms Farce

[Anonymous]

I just went back to page one of this thread and read the first 6-7 pages. This thread used to be hilarious. A lot of effort was put into each post. I feel like the last 18 pages has been nothing but slackers: a lot of cutting and pasting, a lot of side conversations. I don't even look forward to reading new entries. I know this entry, for example, will result in like 10 replies about how stupid I am, or something equally unfunny as what I am writing.

Can someone help? I know you're out there, witty people...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just went back to page one of this thread and read the first 6-7 pages. This thread used to be hilarious. A lot of effort was put into each post. I feel like the last 18 pages has been nothing but slackers: a lot of cutting and pasting, a lot of side conversations. I don't even look forward to reading new entries. I know this entry, for example, will result in like 10 replies about how stupid I am, or something equally unfunny as what I am writing.

Can someone help? I know you're out there, witty people...

Just like sex used to be. It will never be the same. Why try?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just went back to page one of this thread and read the first 6-7 pages. This thread used to be hilarious. A lot of effort was put into each post. I feel like the last 18 pages has been nothing but slackers: a lot of cutting and pasting, a lot of side conversations. I don't even look forward to reading new entries. I know this entry, for example, will result in like 10 replies about how stupid I am, or something equally unfunny as what I am writing.

Can someone help? I know you're out there, witty people...

I agree, no creativity. yawn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just went back to page one of this thread and read the first 6-7 pages. This thread used to be hilarious. A lot of effort was put into each post. I feel like the last 18 pages has been nothing but slackers: a lot of cutting and pasting, a lot of side conversations. I don't even look forward to reading new entries. I know this entry, for example, will result in like 10 replies about how stupid I am, or something equally unfunny as what I am writing.

Can someone help? I know you're out there, witty people...

I agree, no creativity. yawn.

Like I said above. Just like sex used to be. No creativity. All yawns here also. So why even try?

[Anonymous]

Exactly why I don't swallow.

[Anonymous]

Who actually swallows once they get the ring anyway?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who actually swallows once they get the ring anyway?

I was supposed to swallow BEFORE I got the ring. Maybe that's why DH says he's done with me.

[Anonymous]

I was one of the manic posters on this thread the first 6 pages. After the upteenth time, though, I feel like I'm just going through the motions. Ya know, in and out. I'm spent. Time to have an affair. See ya on that 2009 Acceptance Thread. I'll show them how to truly work that Wait List.

[Anonymous]

Note to some posters: when you see a post that makes you shake your head in shame or pity for the rest of us, DON'T just cut and paste it here.

FARCE is all about imitating the heinous original post. But in an ineffable way that's somehow wittier, ironic and more self-aware than the original.

(Except for the pasted bit on slacker cashiers in VA -- hard to top that one.)

But maybe we've run out of topics? Once we hit other peoples' religions, we really started to scrape the bottom. Maybe we've plumbed the depths of dizty blond private school moms, anti-suburbanism, moms of HG kids, and all the sorry rest.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes you just can't improve on nature.

[Anonymous]

I'm waiting for the wounds of private school rejections to heal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who actually swallows once they get the ring anyway?

I was supposed to swallow BEFORE I got the ring. Maybe that's why DH says he's done with me.

Smart girls rarely swallow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Enough with this nanny stuff--they are so stupid with their terrible spelling and bad attitude.
So my DC goes to one of the Big Three. My husband is a lawyer who works at one of the Big Five. We summer off Cape Cod at one of the Big Two and we ski in Utah at one of the Big Four. What I want to know is what Bigs I am missing and how I fit them into my life. BTW we sometimes vacation at a place way off in the middle of the Pacific, you know, the Big one. I don't want to say any more in case I out myself even though there are least 8 other women on this site exactly like me. Wait, I just answered my own question! I am one of the Big Eight!!! . Never mind.

Do you grocery shop at one of the Big Two?

Do you drive one of the Big Three?

Which mall do you frequent, one of the Big Two and a Half?

Is your mom in one of the Big Six neighborhoods?

Do your kids wear any of the Big Three brands?

I mean really...

I shop at 7-11. Does that count?

If your husband had a really big dick, you wouldn't be wasting time in this forum.

[Anonymous]

OK here goes- I saw your nanny(well, I think it was your nanny because the grown-up had dark-hair, wore light up shoes and spoke only Swahili and the child she was with was blond, blue-eyed, still an embryo and yet had been accepted at Sidwell Friends), dressing the child in a Marc Jacobs bikini when it was -13 outside, texting with her pimp when the child was crossing 495 near Georgia Ave without appropriate supervision. When the child complained about tire tracks all over her new swim suit, the nanny smacked the child with a stalk of celery, threw him into the trunk of her '03 Land Rover, proceeded to lecture the child about Scientology(I was able to overhear all this with my touchscreen Blackberry) and obviously headed to the mall to shop with the unhappy America's next top model in tow. WWYD, WTF, should I call my DH, or my BFF or my S(shrink) to help me deal with this on the way to my mani/pedi assumed to be applied by an Asian person( and if it isn't, I'm contacting my lawyer-hey any excuse to call my DH and complain is a good excuse)----grades, please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Enough with this nanny stuff--they are so stupid with their terrible spelling and bad attitude.
So my DC goes to one of the Big Three. My husband is a lawyer who works at one of the Big Five. We summer off Cape Cod at one of the Big Two and we ski in Utah at one of the Big Four. What I want to know is what Bigs I am missing and how I fit them into my life. BTW we sometimes vacation at a place way off in the middle of the Pacific, you know, the Big one. I don't want to say any more in case I out myself even though there are least 8 other women on this site exactly like me. Wait, I just answered my own question! I am one of the Big Eight!!! . Never mind.

Do you grocery shop at one of the Big Two?

Do you drive one of the Big Three?

Which mall do you frequent, one of the Big Two and a Half?

Is your mom in one of the Big Six neighborhoods?

Do your kids wear any of the Big Three brands?

I mean really...

I shop at 7-11. Does that count?

If your husband had a really big dick, you wouldn't be wasting time in this forum.

I guess yours doesn't then.