DC Urban Moms Farce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:-I saw your Nanny outside of a skeezy location talking about PUBLIC SCHOOLS to your children. The blonde little girl with blue topaz eyes was wearing a Le Top shirt with Nordstrom pants and Robeez shoes (not knock-offs). They were sitting outside of the new Kidville in Rockville.

-My newborn has interesting stool…is this normal? It has blue specks on the lower portion and has lumpy consistency throughout the upper half. It smelled like pears and had a core temperature of 93.6 & I ran it through my DNA tester & it is unclear what the makeup is. Should I call my pediatrician?

-Anyone have a good referral for a pediatric nephro-radiologist/nutritionist/acupuncturist for a 3.56 year old who spends a lot of time underwater?

-My child is not breathing & has no pulse. Should I call a doctor?

-It has 3 hours since I submitted my application for my embryo to Sidwell for preschool & I have not heard anything. I am afraid she will never get into Harvard. Anyone else in the same boat?

-My husband never listens to me, plays with the 12 children, or even knows their names. I asked him to change a diaper the other day & he asked me what a diaper was. I am now pregnant with quadruplets & wanted advice from other moms on what they have done.

-I am a partner in a local lawfirm & only make $925,000. I see my kids on Sunday afternoons from 6:25 to 6:35 pm. I wondering if anyone knows how I may be able to cut expenses (or which house I should rent out) so that I could go part time.

You are wonderful. As is this thread.

-We recently cleared 700k and can finally call ourselves middle class. However, our upper middle class neighbors (the ones with the 900k HHI...so jealous!) say it's irresponsible for us to start trying for a second child on those wages. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:-I saw your Nanny outside of a skeezy location talking about PUBLIC SCHOOLS to your children. The blonde little girl with blue topaz eyes was wearing a Le Top shirt with Nordstrom pants and Robeez shoes (not knock-offs). They were sitting outside of the new Kidville in Rockville.

-My newborn has interesting stool…is this normal? It has blue specks on the lower portion and has lumpy consistency throughout the upper half. It smelled like pears and had a core temperature of 93.6 & I ran it through my DNA tester & it is unclear what the makeup is. Should I call my pediatrician?

-Anyone have a good referral for a pediatric nephro-radiologist/nutritionist/acupuncturist for a 3.56 year old who spends a lot of time underwater?

-My child is not breathing & has no pulse. Should I call a doctor?

-It has 3 hours since I submitted my application for my embryo to Sidwell for preschool & I have not heard anything. I am afraid she will never get into Harvard. Anyone else in the same boat?

-My husband never listens to me, plays with the 12 children, or even knows their names. I asked him to change a diaper the other day & he asked me what a diaper was. I am now pregnant with quadruplets & wanted advice from other moms on what they have done.

-I am a partner in a local lawfirm & only make $925,000. I see my kids on Sunday afternoons from 6:25 to 6:35 pm. I wondering if anyone knows how I may be able to cut expenses (or which house I should rent out) so that I could go part time.

You are wonderful. As is this thread.

-We recently cleared 700k and can finally call ourselves middle class. However, our upper middle class neighbors (the ones with the 900k HHI...so jealous!) say it's irresponsible for us to start trying for a second child on those wages. Thoughts?

Agree-definitely worthy of revival. Hilarious!

Also, have a question for you guys...my daughter, Larla, has an IQ of 152 and Cogat and NNAT scores in the 99.999999999%ile. Should I be concerned about her getting into AAP? Is it too early to plan for TJ?

Oh and I want to throw a birthday party for Larla and invite every child except one because he's super annoying. Is it OK to exclude 1 child because he would just ruin Larla's party. I assume he would come because what child would ever turn down an invite from us. Now I must obsess and form a 10 page thread where hopefully you people can make me feel good about leaving out 1 child who may have SN. Oh and Larla will be handing out the invites at school.

[Anonymous]

1 more thing. I have a large bump bigger than my head protruding from my neck and it sometimes bleeds for no reason. It seems to have teeth. It hurts like hell too. Should I get it checked out?