DC Urban Moms Farce
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Anonymous
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My 16 month old calls all fruit and vegetables "apple" now. Should I be worried that the BPA in the bottles and cups impacted him? I was going to throw them all out and get new ones but I'm trying to cut corners so I can save up for a nice nanny to drive him to daycare.
HELP! |
Anonymous
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If you managed to weave in swinging, guns, husbands who smoke pot, and the joys of natural childbirth, it would have been PERFECT!
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Anonymous
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Oh, there's a "plus" on my pregnancy test.
The box says this means I am pregnant. Do you think I am? |
Anonymous
He doesn't wear a flag pin, does he? That should have been a telltale sign. It's absence is the root of all evil. Pick one up from CVS, pin it on the fu@#ker, and all will be right with the world. |
Anonymous
Okay this was funny for a while but now I am really offended. Just because you don't smoke up in place of an epidural to pop out the baby you're having with your best friend's husband doesn't mean that most of us on this board don't do it. Don't like our lifestyle? Shoot me! |
Anonymous
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My house has dropped from 2.5 Million to 2.2 Million and I need to start cutting expenses. Should I:
a. Trade in the Lexus SUV for a BMW sedan? b. Stop having $4000.00 birthday parties for my toddlers? c. Stop buying $200 birthday cakes d. Make my $25/hour nanny mow the lawn too - after all I am a SAHM? e. Only go to Greece once this summer? f. Get rid of my $100/hour consultant for pre-school since my 4 month old isn't reading to grade level yet? |
Anonymous
| Can I be invited to the first birthday party where U2 is performing? In exchange, I will overlook your lack of a thank you note for the present I bring. |
Anonymous
Yes, the laughter is fading. Can we get this forum back on track. Beauvoir, Beauvoir, Beauvoir Saks, Saks, Saks Nanny, Nanny, Nanny (No) Sex, (No) Sex, (No) Sex |
Anonymous
| Please weigh in, brutally if you can, on my decisions to do the following: breastfeed, circumcise, and co-sleep when I just need to f*cking pass out already. I made these choices at the time because I thought them best, but I'm just DYING to second-guess myself. Make me feel alternately like a hippie, a butcher, and a selfish b*tch. Also, please crucify me for returning to work. Dazzle me with your venom! |
Anonymous
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HELP!! I hired a personal shopper from this board to assist me in doing my baby registry. She actually suggested I check out Babies R Us!!
How do I fire her politely? And how can I replace her in such short notice? My shower is in two months!! |
Anonymous
| My nanny severed her leg on the way to work this morning. Now she's not much use to me so she will be replaced, but the earliest I can find someone is for next Friday at which point she will be let go. SO...now she tells me she needs next Tuesday off in order to have a prosthesis attached. How can she do this to me????? Has anybody heard of anything so selfish???? What am I supposed to do about my lunch plans?????? |
Anonymous
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Ok, here's one that I see more on the listserv than the forum but anyway:
How should I organize my child's books? Some are big, some are small. Some are red, some are blue. Do I put the blues ones together? The big and red ones together? Do I keep them on a bookshelf? In a bin? What do people do? I just don't know how to handle this... |
Anonymous
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is this what I can expect? I will be moving to the DC area, and have been monitoring this board. You are all twisted, sick individuals with absolutely no human decency. And yes, I have to assume that the entire DC metropolitan area mirrors exactly what I have seen in this forum.
the horror! |
Anonymous
this one killed me.  (although I have posted my fair share of boneheaded questions during my pregnancy)
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Anonymous
| I think you pay nany not enough. Nany work hard for care your childreen. I pay me nany $30 dolars each hour and raise evry 6 month. I give her BMW car and the inserance. She get 4 week holiday and I give nany evry Friday half day with pay. My son is in schol from 9 in morning to 3 in afternoon. Nanny work too hard from 3 until 6 so I tell her not to clean house and relax till bus bring him home. I buy her what she want to eat. I give 2 week bonus at chrismas and ester. When I not work-nany not work, but I pay her becose my son call her mommy. I know other familys do same with there nany. |