Did NOT have my dream wedding and many years later I’m still sad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe OP is upset that a $12,000 wedding wasn't enough for her. TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLARS. Are you kidding me?

OP - where are you from?

I had a big fat Indian wedding and I barely remember any of it. Like a PP said, I don't think about it. It was a fun party, but I don't remember things like the decorations, flowers, etc...not a bit.

If you are trying to stretch $12K to have a 250 person wedding, it isn't going to go far. I had about a $12K wedding but we only had 50 people. In that case the 12K goes pretty far. I didn't want a big wedding, or to blow too much money, and I didn't expect in-laws to help pay for it. Why should they? We were both in our early 30s getting married and didn't want or expect parental help.

I spent under $15K (can't recall the exact amount) on a 100-person wedding (I have a huge extended family). It went far enough. I didn't need special chair covers or monogrammed napkins or expensive flowers. Most of that money went on food and drink for guests. OP had a courthouse wedding, so I'm guessing that $12K was plenty. She's not upset she didn't have flowers at all, she's upset that they came from Costco. Who cares about that?

[Anonymous]

Do NOT throw a vow renewal. Anyone who watches the Real Housewives shows knows this is the kiss of death for a marriage.

[Anonymous]

OP got married for the green card, so I don't think it's the wedding she's upset about, I think it's the husband. She thought she was marrying a rich American and no such luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this you op?

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/994184.page

If so, you need some serious attitude adjustment. Living your (privileged) life by wallowing in regret that you did not have the princess wedding/2 m dollar home/whatever is incredibly self centered and deeply sad. No wonder you're so unhappy. There seems to be nothing inside you. No identity apart from status you assign externally. I would normally suggest therapy but you seem so focused on your own manufactured trauma that I recommy vomuntt with those far less fortunate instead.

I was wondering the same thing!

[Anonymous]

I cannot believe someone would spend years dwelling on this.

So, perhaps you will find some relief in my story. I had the most perfect wedding to the father of my children. Every single person who attended expressed how it was the most exciting, beautiful, tasteful wedding yet. I had a custom designed dress, I looked ridiculously good. We had tiffany rings, my engagement ring was a glacier it was so stunning and shiny. But, it was the worst marriage, i should have know as I ate my delicious steak dinner alone at the head table...

Fast forward 10 years when I remarry. We got married next to people fighting parking tickets with the county clerk in work clothes. We ate dinner standing up in the kitchen, we don't have rings, we did not invite anyone or take a cray video. I have never been as happy and I literally thank the heavens every day for the second chance at love. My husband is my heart's desire and nothing material could make our love and life any more wonderful.

Moral of the story, beauty on the outside does not equate happiness on the inside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe someone would spend years dwelling on this.

So, perhaps you will find some relief in my story. I had the most perfect wedding to the father of my children. Every single person who attended expressed how it was the most exciting, beautiful, tasteful wedding yet. I had a custom designed dress, I looked ridiculously good. We had tiffany rings, my engagement ring was a glacier it was so stunning and shiny. But, it was the worst marriage, i should have know as I ate my delicious steak dinner alone at the head table...

Fast forward 10 years when I remarry. We got married next to people fighting parking tickets with the county clerk in work clothes. We ate dinner standing up in the kitchen, we don't have rings, we did not invite anyone or take a cray video. I have never been as happy and I literally thank the heavens every day for the second chance at love. My husband is my heart's desire and nothing material could make our love and life any more wonderful.

Moral of the story, beauty on the outside does not equate happiness on the inside.

Meh! These things aren't mutually exclusive though. You can have a big wedding and be incredibly happy with your spouse. You can have a small wedding and be miserable. I think it's just sort of false to set it up that way. I do think OP should let it go though, it seems a bit silly to be opining this over a decade later.