Did NOT have my dream wedding and many years later I’m still sad

[Anonymous]

You chose the self-indulgent grad school path. You get what you get. Perpetual students get to have their fun, and then the music stops. Hope you both enjoyed the ride.

[Anonymous]

Just throw yourself a big anniversary party or birthday party or something.

[Anonymous]

I had a nice wedding 15 years ago that I never think about. I’m very happily married and have 2 kids and I NEVER think about my wedding.

[Anonymous]

Is this you op?

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/994184.page

If so, you need some serious attitude adjustment. Living your (privileged) life by wallowing in regret that you did not have the princess wedding/2 m dollar home/whatever is incredibly self centered and deeply sad. No wonder you're so unhappy. There seems to be nothing inside you. No identity apart from status you assign externally. I would normally suggest therapy but you seem so focused on your own manufactured trauma that I recommy vomuntt with those far less fortunate instead.

[Anonymous]

$12k is a ton. We got married in grad school on a $5k budget. We now have a pretty high HHI and I can’t even imagine wanting to spend more than $12k even if I did get a do-over.

[Anonymous]

You’re your own worst enemy, OP.

[Anonymous]

Gee OP I wish I was able to go to grad school but couldn’t afford it and now have too kids and it’s a pandemic and we need to save for the kids’ college. See how that works? You’re tossing around your privilege about extra degrees.

[Anonymous]

Our wedding cost about $3500. I didn’t have a dream wedding in mind but it was what we could afford. Our daughters’ weddings cost between $80k and $100k and they are no happier than their parents! They had their dream weddings and I loved planning it with them but it was crazy. But I’m guilty!

[Anonymous]

Do your husband a favor and get divorced. I can only imagine the resentment on your part is making his life miserable.

[Anonymous]

Do a lavish vow renewal if it means so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gee OP I wish I was able to go to grad school but couldn’t afford it and now have too kids and it’s a pandemic and we need to save for the kids’ college. See how that works? You’re tossing around your privilege about extra degrees.

+1 It's not even like you completely missed your wedding day OP. You had a wedding day with guests and a caterer, you're just annoyed that the flowers came from Costco rather than a trendy boutique. Be grateful that your sadness in life is a suboptimal wedding rather than you or your DH having cancer or something else terrible.

[Anonymous]

A big wedding is all for show. It's meaningless, wasteful consumerism. What matters is 5, 10, 30 years after the wedding. Mediate on your gratitude for finding true love and being still married.

[Anonymous]

I had a big lavish wedding (paid for by my dad). I am happy I did, but 3 kids later I wish I could spend that money in different ways… trust me… it’s not that important

[Anonymous]

I had the wedding and hated it. My ex insisted on a big ridiculous wedding. It looks great. Marriage was terrible immediately and we divorced after 10 years.

Stop with the fantasy of a perfect wedding.

[Anonymous]

I went to so many nice expensive weddings and half of those couples are no longer married. Count your blessings.