allow toy gun play or no?

[Anonymous]

Your question reminds me of the honest and awesome mom I met at our super crunchy Berkeley co-op preschool who said that she tried her best to outlaw all gun play and then one day noticed her kid nibbling his HUMMUS SANDWICH into the shape of a gun.
I'm super opposed to guns a s a policy issue, I would like to live in a country where they don't exist. But overregulating your kids play doesn't keep him or any of us safer, they just let you think and hope that maybe you are somehow helping our country out of its crazy relationship with firearms. You aren't. Kids and boys in particular have been playing with weapon toys since forever and I truly don't know any in my kids' teenage cohorts that appear to have an ongoing interest in them. Focus on what matters and try to let this one go, I know it's hard, it feels symbolic, but it really is okay.

[Anonymous]

Fine.

Guns and ammo sales are way up since the summer 2020 violent protests. Even in leftist MoCo!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been fighting this battle with my 6 year old for over a year now. I was firmly in the camp of NO GUN PLAY whatsoever: no toy guns, no water guns, no Nerf guns, nothing. I would reprimand him even if he played with a stick that he was pretending was a gun. But I'm exhausted from his relentless interest in it. I'm at the point of wondering if I'm making it even more of a forbidden fruit situation and the more I say "no, that's not allowed, that's not appropriate, we can't even say that word gun" etc is he wanting to do it even more?
Anyone who has dealt with a child with this extreme interest, please share your story! How did you get them past it? Did you stick to your guns (no pun intended) or did you let them get it out of their system? How long did that take? I'm really at a loss how to proceed. Thank you.

Yes, I've let my kids play with pretend guns. It is a phase. Relax!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP what do you think is going to happen if you give your child a super soaker? Seriously what is the end state you are trying to prevent? He becomes a gun owner? He is accidentally shot? He pretends to shoot/talks about it in school and gets in trouble? What exactly are you afraid of here?

My 6 yo has an arsenal of nerf. He’s not allowed to shoot them at people or animals. The exception is if he’s actually playing nerf with someone and has consent to shoot at them as part of the game. He’s not permitted to bring them to playgrounds in deference to ridiculous people like OP. He’s not allowed to talk about guns or shooting in school.

We did the same with our kids. No shooting at faces was the main safety rule with Nerf. DH and the kids had massive Nerf battles all over the house. Those are fun memories. FWIW, We never let them play with toy guns that look real and I did ban shooting video games because I find the visual violence of those disturbing and dehumanizing. FWIW, Nerf and water gun-loving DS is now a very sweet 17 year old who has no interest in guns and spends his videogame time playing FIFA (soccer).

I think OP has turned this into a big THING with her kid and is sustaining the interest by the constant fighting about it. And, IMO there's really no play difference between a bow-and-arrow and a gun. Or, for that matter, between a sword and a gun. My kids hurt each other more playing with a pretend sword that actually hits than with a gun. And, a play arrow may hit a kid with more force than a Nerf dart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a big supporter of our second Amendment, and an equally big supporter of respect around firearms.

We don't have 'toy guns' really because it teaches the wrong idea, toy-ifying things.

I've also taught my kids the 3-steps important if you cross paths with a gun (1) dont touch it (2) leave the area (3) tell a grown up. The NRA actually promotes this, but with all the other crap they do it sadly gets lost in the weeds. They actually have a decent safety program.

But nerf guns are fun though...sigh.

AND, they are completely different from real guns. Don't look like real guns, don't fire bullets, don't hurt people. Yes, exactly what you said when it comes to real guns (and one reason not to buy toy guns that look like real guns). Kids aren't idiots. Do you really think they think Nerf and a real gun are the same thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your question reminds me of the honest and awesome mom I met at our super crunchy Berkeley co-op preschool who said that she tried her best to outlaw all gun play and then one day noticed her kid nibbling his HUMMUS SANDWICH into the shape of a gun.
I'm super opposed to guns a s a policy issue, I would like to live in a country where they don't exist. But overregulating your kids play doesn't keep him or any of us safer, they just let you think and hope that maybe you are somehow helping our country out of its crazy relationship with firearms. You aren't. Kids and boys in particular have been playing with weapon toys since forever and I truly don't know any in my kids' teenage cohorts that appear to have an ongoing interest in them. Focus on what matters and try to let this one go, I know it's hard, it feels symbolic, but it really is okay.

Thanks for this. I am really trying here. My DS sounds like this hummus muncher. These posts are getting me there faster.
-OP

[Anonymous]

To those who say “no guns in any show or game” their kids watch: so, no Star Wars? No history documentaries, or visit center films at battlefields, or Liberty’s Kids? Are they allowed to read history books showing guns? How old are your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To those who say “no guns in any show or game” their kids watch: so, no Star Wars? No history documentaries, or visit center films at battlefields, or Liberty’s Kids? Are they allowed to read history books showing guns? How old are your kids?

When DS was little (and allowed to play with Nerf) he had a friend with adamantly anti-gun parents. But the kid still had a bunch of toy lightsabers and they got a whole lot more violent with them, whacking each other with them, than they ever did with Nerf guns.

[Anonymous]

When my girls were little this wasn't an issue and I wouldn't have bought them anything gun-related. At some point, they discovered Nerf guns and they loved them, so we did end up buying them. I wouldn't encourage gun play but I also don't necessarily think banning it entirely is the right way to go. I grew up in a rural place where deer-hunting actually provided families with food for the winter. It's not (in my opinion) a black or white issue.

That being said - I've never held a gun and wouldn't allow a real one in my home. I think it is important for kids to eventually, when they are developmentally ready, understand the wide range of gun-related activities and implications. It's pretty complex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been fighting this battle with my 6 year old for over a year now. I was firmly in the camp of NO GUN PLAY whatsoever: no toy guns, no water guns, no Nerf guns, nothing. I would reprimand him even if he played with a stick that he was pretending was a gun. But I'm exhausted from his relentless interest in it. I'm at the point of wondering if I'm making it even more of a forbidden fruit situation and the more I say "no, that's not allowed, that's not appropriate, we can't even say that word gun" etc is he wanting to do it even more?
Anyone who has dealt with a child with this extreme interest, please share your story! How did you get them past it? Did you stick to your guns (no pun intended) or did you let them get it out of their system? How long did that take? I'm really at a loss how to proceed. Thank you.

You're child needs to know about guns-you don't want them curious about it and finding one at a friends house and grabbing the forbidden fruit and shooting themselves. Teach them about guns, gun safety, and if they ever see one they are to leave it and tell an adult ASAP.

[Anonymous]

No. My parents were true 1960’s hippies and my brothers and I were never allowed to play with toy guns anymore than we were allowed to play with toy daggers or toy bombs. My brothers and I hold the same rules for our kids.

I asked my brothers after reading this thread and there was no “forbidden fruit” or curiosity about guns. They knew guns were bad - their only purpose being to kill or practice killing and they said they were always anti-gun even through TV and movies glorified them.

Sometimes you just have to say no. For me, this is one of those times. Guns are ripping our children in half and blowing their skulls off - that alone is reason not to make a toy out of them.

[Anonymous]

Definitely not. There is no good that comes out of it and as pp noted, keeping them away does not fetishize them. We never were around them in any form and never missed them or were curious about them.

[Anonymous]

My uncle has one of those crazy looking eyes that points off in the wrong direction because his brother shot him in the eye with a sling shot when they were kids. It's all fun and games till somebody is maimed for life. No way would I allow Nerf projectiles.

We made the decision to forbid any toy guns but we did allow our son to shoot real guns (a BB gun and later a small shotgun) with the family, starting when he was about 9 or 10. We hunt and do clay pigeons. The loud noise and the seriousness of shooting guns in a safe and responsible manner probably took all the "fun" out of guns for him. Now, he often chooses not to join us when we go hunting or to the shooting range.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My uncle has one of those crazy looking eyes that points off in the wrong direction because his brother shot him in the eye with a sling shot when they were kids. It's all fun and games till somebody is maimed for life. No way would I allow Nerf projectiles.

We made the decision to forbid any toy guns but we did allow our son to shoot real guns (a BB gun and later a small shotgun) with the family, starting when he was about 9 or 10. We hunt and do clay pigeons. The loud noise and the seriousness of shooting guns in a safe and responsible manner probably took all the "fun" out of guns for him. Now, he often chooses not to join us when we go hunting or to the shooting range.

This is a VERY interesting way to handle it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so tired of this. Boys pretend fight. They like guns, swords, axes, grenade launchers, whatever. Sounds like you are fighting against it and have potentially made it worse. Forbidden fruit. Playing with toy guns has no relationship to actually using real guns for real violence

Bullsh!t. I have two boys and 3 brothers. Boys will wrestle, but gun play isn't some genetic thing. Guns have only been around for a few hundred years.