allow toy gun play or no?

[Anonymous]

Boys somehow find ways to turn everything into a weapon. Even if you prohibit toy guns or water guns, a stick will become a toy gun. Or he'll make one out of Legos as my DS does.

Like many things when it comes to parenting, my perspective has changed on this over the years. At first I was uneasy about it and tried to discourage it - mostly because there is such a stigma attached to that kind of play now. I personally don't have a huge problem with it because I don't believe that playing toy guns is itself a "gateway" activity for violence later on in life, especially if you take the time to educate your kids about the different between play and real life. Whether it's a gun, knife, sword or some other type of "weapon," it's important to talk to kids about how and when it's ok to play those things.

We don't buy toy weapons for the kids. They will occasionally make weapons using Legos or other materials, but we don't buy toy versions of weapons. The only type of toy guns we have at home are water guns, which these days don't even really resemble guns. They are really colorful and look like giant tanks that blast water.

My DS is 7.5 and is much better at understanding the nuances of play. He understands you can do certain things at home that you can't at school - so while it's fine to play water guns at home with his sister, playing any kind of pretend guns at school isn't ok. He knows not to point anything resembling a gun - even if it's just his fingers - at someone's face or head. He knows not to say "I'll kill you!" or threaten to shoot people. He knows it's not ok to pretend to shoot someone while angry. But all of this has come about over the past couple of years as we've guided him on what's acceptable and what's not when it comes to playing.

Ultimately, it comes down to what you are a parent are comfortable with. For me, this was not an issue I felt strongly enough to forbid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Janet Lansbury wrote a piece about this... the message was that it’s a normal and ordinary part of development. Just go with it and don’t project too much.

We have “nerf blasters” and “water blasters” at our house, the rule is that you never aim at people.

Yeah. We just correct our kids when they say gun in pretend play we say “guns aren’t toys. Do you mean blasters?”

Real guns aren’t toys. Toy guns are absolutely toys.

Are your kids calling them “toy guns?”

No. But they never called the toy vacuum cleaner, the toy kitchen, the toy babydoll anything other than vacuum, kitchen and baby.

[Anonymous]

We don't because I don't believe anyone should have guns, ever, for any reason.

[Anonymous]

We don't because I don't believe anyone should have guns, ever, for any reason.

What about hunting food? Personally, I think there is no reason for anyone to have a handgun or assault rifle, but if someone is actually going to hunt game for food, to me, that seems more humane than sending cows to be packed into a giant grain feedlot for most of their lives and then sent to an abbatoir.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boys somehow find ways to turn everything into a weapon. Even if you prohibit toy guns or water guns, a stick will become a toy gun. Or he'll make one out of Legos as my DS does.

Like many things when it comes to parenting, my perspective has changed on this over the years. At first I was uneasy about it and tried to discourage it - mostly because there is such a stigma attached to that kind of play now. I personally don't have a huge problem with it because I don't believe that playing toy guns is itself a "gateway" activity for violence later on in life, especially if you take the time to educate your kids about the different between play and real life. Whether it's a gun, knife, sword or some other type of "weapon," it's important to talk to kids about how and when it's ok to play those things.

We don't buy toy weapons for the kids. They will occasionally make weapons using Legos or other materials, but we don't buy toy versions of weapons. The only type of toy guns we have at home are water guns, which these days don't even really resemble guns. They are really colorful and look like giant tanks that blast water.

My DS is 7.5 and is much better at understanding the nuances of play. He understands you can do certain things at home that you can't at school - so while it's fine to play water guns at home with his sister, playing any kind of pretend guns at school isn't ok. He knows not to point anything resembling a gun - even if it's just his fingers - at someone's face or head. He knows not to say "I'll kill you!" or threaten to shoot people. He knows it's not ok to pretend to shoot someone while angry. But all of this has come about over the past couple of years as we've guided him on what's acceptable and what's not when it comes to playing.

Ultimately, it comes down to what you are a parent are comfortable with. For me, this was not an issue I felt strongly enough to forbid.

Your post was very helpful, thank you!
-OP

[Anonymous]

This post reads like self-parody.
Perhaps the OP and/or others are trolls?
If not, your reaction to your child is ridiculously over the top, and a good way to have your kid rebel snd be obsessed with guns as soon as he’s legally an adult.

I understand avoiding realistic looking guns.
But no one is getting shot by police for using a bright orange squirt gun at the pool, or playing with nerf guns (which don’t even look much like guns) with friends. Nor does this type of play contribute to violent behavior in any way. It’s developmentally normal to play this way. Just set up rules about use of squirt guns, etc & chill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the era where candy cigarettes were a thing. You can't get them now, but even if I could, I would not. Not because I think millions of kids became smokers because of candy or that kids can't tell the difference, but because smoking is not something we value or support. Same with guns and gun play. I don't think you have to believe guns will turn your kid into a serial killer to not want that to be part of their play experience. Be

You can absolutely still buy candy cigarettes! I think many of you need to step outside your bubble. I suspect you all talk about valuing diversity and awakening your children to social justice issues, but clearly you have a difficult time imagining how different your moral code is than a large chunk of the population.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks to everyone. This is helpful for me and I'm definitely going to rethink how I've been going about this. DH and I have talked to him about never playing guns at school because the teachers have ASKED us to discuss it with him (I'd love for them to handle it on their own at school, but they've involved us deliberately). I think I will allow his imagination to dictate if he plays guns or not instead of saying "NO" every time it presents itself. Just not sure if I can take the leap to buy him toys that look like guns, even water guns.
-OP

He's probably doing this at school all the time because it's so forbidden in the house. Making it something that your son feels he should be ashamed of for liking or needs to hide it from you is definitely not your end-goal. This is why I fully supported my DD's over-the-top Disney princess phase. Sure, it didn't exactly fit my vision of the strong, confident woman I wanted DD to grow up to be. But I never thought that by supporting her I was doing something wrong, just like you letting your son play with Nerf guns or whatever isn't supporting the NRA. She just liked fancy clothes. Your son just likes to pretend to shoot things. It's OK.

This. You are SO strict with it at home, he is doing it where he can. My kids have Nerf guns, Nerf cross bows, and Nerf water guns. Guess how often they play with them? Almost never. We insisted that they wear safety glasses and no head shots. They pull them out as the last toys. It’s just not a big deal.

The reason people grow up to be killers has nothing to do with Nerf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been fighting this battle with my 6 year old for over a year now. I was firmly in the camp of NO GUN PLAY whatsoever: no toy guns, no water guns, no Nerf guns, nothing. I would reprimand him even if he played with a stick that he was pretending was a gun. But I'm exhausted from his relentless interest in it. I'm at the point of wondering if I'm making it even more of a forbidden fruit situation and the more I say "no, that's not allowed, that's not appropriate, we can't even say that word gun" etc is he wanting to do it even more?
Anyone who has dealt with a child with this extreme interest, please share your story! How did you get them past it? Did you stick to your guns (no pun intended) or did you let them get it out of their system? How long did that take? I'm really at a loss how to proceed. Thank you.

Where does he even see guns? DS is 7.5 and has never asked for a toy gun nor have I ever seen any at his friends houses. None of the shows he watches have guns in them. DS has never asked for any toy gun.

My dad was a cop and totally against toy guns or playing with toy guns, but his advice to kids who insisted on playing with guns to never, ever point a toy gun at any living thing. If your kid has to play with guns, teach gun safety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been fighting this battle with my 6 year old for over a year now. I was firmly in the camp of NO GUN PLAY whatsoever: no toy guns, no water guns, no Nerf guns, nothing. I would reprimand him even if he played with a stick that he was pretending was a gun. But I'm exhausted from his relentless interest in it. I'm at the point of wondering if I'm making it even more of a forbidden fruit situation and the more I say "no, that's not allowed, that's not appropriate, we can't even say that word gun" etc is he wanting to do it even more?
Anyone who has dealt with a child with this extreme interest, please share your story! How did you get them past it? Did you stick to your guns (no pun intended) or did you let them get it out of their system? How long did that take? I'm really at a loss how to proceed. Thank you.

Where does he even see guns?

DS is 7.5 and has never asked for a toy gun nor have I ever seen any at his friends houses. None of the shows he watches have guns in them. DS has never asked for any toy gun.

My dad was a cop and totally against toy guns or playing with toy guns, but his advice to kids who insisted on playing with guns to never, ever point a toy gun at any living thing. If your kid has to play with guns, teach gun safety.

cousins house has ALL the weapons, mainly Nerf guns. we went to colonial Williamsburg recently and he saw a musket demonstration so he's obsessed with that now and constantly talks about wanting a musket.
and, BTW, to previous poster: I am not a troll. I am truly trying to parent the right way here and I'm navigating as best I can. Taking the advice/feedback on here seriously and making adjustments accordingly.
-OP

[Anonymous]

My boys, 4 and 6, have never seen toy guns - or real guns - either. None of their friends play with toy guns. Which is good because we aren’t going to allow it anymore than we’ll allow play-switch blades or play-nooses.

I don’t care if they like the rule or not. We’ve talked about guns as a bad thing and stressed how deadly they are. They know that DH and I both volunteer and contribute to gun control groups.

Lots of things are “forbidden fruit”, OP. Teaching your child not to run into the street doesn’t make them want to run into the street. Just say no and explain why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boys, 4 and 6, have never seen toy guns - or real guns - either. None of their friends play with toy guns. Which is good because we aren’t going to allow it anymore than we’ll allow play-switch blades or play-nooses.

I don’t care if they like the rule or not. We’ve talked about guns as a bad thing and stressed how deadly they are. They know that DH and I both volunteer and contribute to gun control groups.

Lots of things are “forbidden fruit”, OP. Teaching your child not to run into the street doesn’t make them want to run into the street. Just say no and explain why.

.

Thank you! I’m sick of this question and parents giving lame justification to what is an American courage. No guns. No play guns. No TV or video with guns. My kids don’t play at houses with real or play guns. We teach about all firearms as deadly instruments.

Or children are dying daily from firearms! Stop pussy-footing around!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boys, 4 and 6, have never seen toy guns - or real guns - either. None of their friends play with toy guns. Which is good because we aren’t going to allow it anymore than we’ll allow play-switch blades or play-nooses.

I don’t care if they like the rule or not. We’ve talked about guns as a bad thing and stressed how deadly they are. They know that DH and I both volunteer and contribute to gun control groups.

Lots of things are “forbidden fruit”, OP. Teaching your child not to run into the street doesn’t make them want to run into the street. Just say no and explain why.

.

Thank you! I’m sick of this question and parents giving lame justification to what is an American courage. No guns. No play guns. No TV or video with guns. My kids don’t play at houses with real or play guns. We teach about all firearms as deadly instruments.



* scourge not courage. Guns are a deadly Americans scourge.

Or children are dying daily from firearms! Stop pussy-footing around!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boys, 4 and 6, have never seen toy guns - or real guns - either. None of their friends play with toy guns. Which is good because we aren’t going to allow it anymore than we’ll allow play-switch blades or play-nooses.

I don’t care if they like the rule or not. We’ve talked about guns as a bad thing and stressed how deadly they are. They know that DH and I both volunteer and contribute to gun control groups.

Lots of things are “forbidden fruit”, OP. Teaching your child not to run into the street doesn’t make them want to run into the street. Just say no and explain why.

.

Thank you! I’m sick of this question and parents giving lame justification to what is an American courage. No guns. No play guns. No TV or video with guns. My kids don’t play at houses with real or play guns. We teach about all firearms as deadly instruments.

Or children are dying daily from firearms! Stop pussy-footing around!

This is just exactly like abstinence only sex education, but for guns. It just doesn't work and it is counter productive and harmful.

[Anonymous]

I'm a big supporter of our second Amendment, and an equally big supporter of respect around firearms.

We don't have 'toy guns' really because it teaches the wrong idea, toy-ifying things.

I've also taught my kids the 3-steps important if you cross paths with a gun (1) dont touch it (2) leave the area (3) tell a grown up. The NRA actually promotes this, but with all the other crap they do it sadly gets lost in the weeds. They actually have a decent safety program.

But nerf guns are fun though...sigh.