allow toy gun play or no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. It's surprising to me that he's still asking/trying this frequently after a YEAR. That's a really long time for a little kid. Have you been consistent with your "no" or have you allowed it a few times? Are there other situations where he is playing these types of games? (friends houses, relatives houses, extracurricular activities?) Where do you think this desire is coming from? I'm just wondering if there's a specific "itch" he's trying to scratch that you could find a better way to help him scratch. For example - I would for sure buy "water blasters" that look nothing like guns and let him go to town with those all summer if it's the "chase and catch" aspect he likes. Or is it that he likes "competitive" games and it's the "I got you!" aspect that's appealing that maybe could be redirected to a sport or something? Or maybe it's the power side of it and you could sign him up for karate or something? I honestly have no idea, I'm just spitballing here.

A year is a long time for a kid to still be asking to do something when the answer is never yes and you don't even have those types of toys around.

This is very interesting to me that you have this response, because this is exactly how I feel. I'm like, why hasn't he given up yet? He's had no exposure to his Nerf-gun loving cousins the past year, which was his only other exposure. There is a boy at school who clearly likes to play gun games with sticks because that's who he gets in trouble with. Other than that, our household has been a consistent NO on this topic for over a year. That's why I'm so exasperated on how to proceed because it's like it's never going to go away until he's allowed to scratch this itch somehow. He's very physically active and in multiple sports. He loves weapons of all kinds but he doesn't watch any tv or play games that have weapons. I don't know why he's so attracted to guns.
-OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so tired of this. Boys pretend fight. They like guns, swords, axes, grenade launchers, whatever. Sounds like you are fighting against it and have potentially made it worse. Forbidden fruit. Playing with toy guns has no relationship to actually using real guns for real violence

THIS 100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so tired of this. Boys pretend fight. They like guns, swords, axes, grenade launchers, whatever. Sounds like you are fighting against it and have potentially made it worse. Forbidden fruit. Playing with toy guns has no relationship to actually using real guns for real violence

Thank you. I appreciate your perspective. But how then do you dissuade them from playing it at school, where it's clearly not allowed?
-OP

Then he gets in trouble at school. Sometimes a scolding by a teacher is more influential than a parent. You can’t stop what he does while he isn’t in your presence.

[Anonymous]

OP, please report back in 10 years when he is asking you to drive him to gun shows.

[Anonymous]

My mother was like this and I didn't like the fact that she thought I would become a murderer or somehow destroy peace on Earth if I played with a lime green plastic gun that shot out whirligigs (I remember having one of those hidden in my closet that I would play with). I felt she was a bit too high strung and scared of the world, clinging to some type of control, and being around that type of anxiety and stress was stressful for me. I wanted a confident Mom who knew I would be fine, not one who thought the world would end and the whole family would start voting Republican if I played with a Nerf gun. It made me lose some respect for her I think because it was obviously such a silly thought that yellow plastic guns were gait-way items for a life of drugs and gangs or hunting or whatever her ideas were. I am not trying to criticize you OP and you do what you think is best and obviously my family is not yours, but just giving my perspective as an adult looking back at my gun-free childhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so tired of this. Boys pretend fight. They like guns, swords, axes, grenade launchers, whatever. Sounds like you are fighting against it and have potentially made it worse. Forbidden fruit. Playing with toy guns has no relationship to actually using real guns for real violence

+1000

OP, you have every right to parent as you wish of course, but in my view (mother of 2 older boys), this is not a hill to die on, if you'll pardon the bad pun. Boys like this stuff. He's six years old. You are not creating a mass shooter, if that is your concern.

I agree. And OP, have you played with a Nerf gun (sorry, "blaster") lately? It's pretty fun. And girls like them too, not just boys.

Are you opposed to laser tag?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother was like this and I didn't like the fact that she thought I would become a murderer or somehow destroy peace on Earth if I played with a lime green plastic gun that shot out whirligigs (I remember having one of those hidden in my closet that I would play with). I felt she was a bit too high strung and scared of the world, clinging to some type of control, and being around that type of anxiety and stress was stressful for me. I wanted a confident Mom who knew I would be fine, not one who thought the world would end and the whole family would start voting Republican if I played with a Nerf gun. It made me lose some respect for her I think because it was obviously such a silly thought that yellow plastic guns were gait-way items for a life of drugs and gangs or hunting or whatever her ideas were. I am not trying to criticize you OP and you do what you think is best and obviously my family is not yours, but just giving my perspective as an adult looking back at my gun-free childhood.

Just to round it out - my mom was also very anti gun, and we were never allowed to have toy guns (not even super soakers, aaaah) and beyond the super soaker disappointment each summer, it was really fine and I got it. If my brother wanted an action figure that came with a gun she'd just throw that part out. It was really fine, and I think both my brother and I are aiming to parent the same way (my kids are thus far too young anyway).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. It's surprising to me that he's still asking/trying this frequently after a YEAR. That's a really long time for a little kid. Have you been consistent with your "no" or have you allowed it a few times? Are there other situations where he is playing these types of games? (friends houses, relatives houses, extracurricular activities?) Where do you think this desire is coming from? I'm just wondering if there's a specific "itch" he's trying to scratch that you could find a better way to help him scratch. For example - I would for sure buy "water blasters" that look nothing like guns and let him go to town with those all summer if it's the "chase and catch" aspect he likes. Or is it that he likes "competitive" games and it's the "I got you!" aspect that's appealing that maybe could be redirected to a sport or something? Or maybe it's the power side of it and you could sign him up for karate or something? I honestly have no idea, I'm just spitballing here.

A year is a long time for a kid to still be asking to do something when the answer is never yes and you don't even have those types of toys around.

This is very interesting to me that you have this response, because this is exactly how I feel. I'm like, why hasn't he given up yet? He's had no exposure to his Nerf-gun loving cousins the past year, which was his only other exposure. There is a boy at school who clearly likes to play gun games with sticks because that's who he gets in trouble with. Other than that, our household has been a consistent NO on this topic for over a year. That's why I'm so exasperated on how to proceed because it's like it's never going to go away until he's allowed to scratch this itch somehow. He's very physically active and in multiple sports. He loves weapons of all kinds but he doesn't watch any tv or play games that have weapons. I don't know why he's so attracted to guns.
-OP

Hmm. Is this other kid someone he looks up to? Thinks he's super cool/wants to be him? I'm really grasping at straws here, but it's gotta be SOMETHING.

I think if I were you, I'd keep trying to puzzle it out, but meanwhile, continue to say no to guns. Both cause I agree with you generally, that they're not toys, and also because I'm loathe to start allowing something just because my kid is STILL asking about it. You've picked this battle, so I think at this point you have to win it otherwise your kid is running the show. Although damn, if I were you, at this point I'd be wishing I could go back in time and just let him play with toy guns.

[Anonymous]

I'm against the 2nd amendment, frankly.

But my rules for my kids are/were ok on nerf guns in my basement and in my backyard, ok with friends.

Never aim at a parent, no shooting at a parent or another adult for any reason - only if playing with friends that consent.

Only bright colored obvious toys

Never outside my yard, not at the school playground, never in cars or on trips, we don't transport them to friends houses unless they are in the trunk.

One of my kids always kind of liked them and cycled in and out over a bunch of years - they are indeed fun. He kind of outgrew them, he is a teenager but he still has a few he likes in our basement.

My other kid is not interested.

Both kids understand they are fake and toys and real guns are scary and not ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. It's surprising to me that he's still asking/trying this frequently after a YEAR. That's a really long time for a little kid. Have you been consistent with your "no" or have you allowed it a few times? Are there other situations where he is playing these types of games? (friends houses, relatives houses, extracurricular activities?) Where do you think this desire is coming from? I'm just wondering if there's a specific "itch" he's trying to scratch that you could find a better way to help him scratch. For example - I would for sure buy "water blasters" that look nothing like guns and let him go to town with those all summer if it's the "chase and catch" aspect he likes. Or is it that he likes "competitive" games and it's the "I got you!" aspect that's appealing that maybe could be redirected to a sport or something? Or maybe it's the power side of it and you could sign him up for karate or something? I honestly have no idea, I'm just spitballing here.

A year is a long time for a kid to still be asking to do something when the answer is never yes and you don't even have those types of toys around.

This is very interesting to me that you have this response, because this is exactly how I feel. I'm like, why hasn't he given up yet? He's had no exposure to his Nerf-gun loving cousins the past year, which was his only other exposure. There is a boy at school who clearly likes to play gun games with sticks because that's who he gets in trouble with. Other than that, our household has been a consistent NO on this topic for over a year. That's why I'm so exasperated on how to proceed because it's like it's never going to go away until he's allowed to scratch this itch somehow. He's very physically active and in multiple sports. He loves weapons of all kinds but he doesn't watch any tv or play games that have weapons. I don't know why he's so attracted to guns.
-OP

Hmm. Is this other kid someone he looks up to? Thinks he's super cool/wants to be him? I'm really grasping at straws here, but it's gotta be SOMETHING.

I think if I were you, I'd keep trying to puzzle it out, but meanwhile, continue to say no to guns. Both cause I agree with you generally, that they're not toys, and also because I'm loathe to start allowing something just because my kid is STILL asking about it. You've picked this battle, so I think at this point you have to win it otherwise your kid is running the show. Although damn, if I were you, at this point I'd be wishing I could go back in time and just let him play with toy guns.

Also - what about something like this:

https://www.kohls.com/product/prd-2598160/nerf-n-strike-stratobow-bow.jsp?skuid=65565729&CID=shopping15&utm_campaign=TOYS&utm_medium=CSE&utm_source=google&utm_product=65565729&utm_campaignid=9733267150&gclid=CjwKCAjw7J6EBhBDEiwA5UUM2rqtNbYmDxT7ZR4KgGJRS9yHup6Hr5JDxKhrbD0cDGLevRvtLUwMNhoCKkoQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

I'd allow that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, please report back in 10 years when he is asking you to drive him to gun shows.

I don't understand this response. Are you being serious or making fun of me?
-OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so tired of this. Boys pretend fight. They like guns, swords, axes, grenade launchers, whatever. Sounds like you are fighting against it and have potentially made it worse. Forbidden fruit. Playing with toy guns has no relationship to actually using real guns for real violence

+1000

OP, you have every right to parent as you wish of course, but in my view (mother of 2 older boys), this is not a hill to die on, if you'll pardon the bad pun. Boys like this stuff. He's six years old. You are not creating a mass shooter, if that is your concern.

I agree. And OP, have you played with a Nerf gun (sorry, "blaster") lately? It's pretty fun. And girls like them too, not just boys.

Are you opposed to laser tag?

He doesn't know what that is. I've never played it. I am not sure if I'm opposed to it - maybe when he's older that would be okay but not this young.
-OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. It's surprising to me that he's still asking/trying this frequently after a YEAR. That's a really long time for a little kid. Have you been consistent with your "no" or have you allowed it a few times? Are there other situations where he is playing these types of games? (friends houses, relatives houses, extracurricular activities?) Where do you think this desire is coming from? I'm just wondering if there's a specific "itch" he's trying to scratch that you could find a better way to help him scratch. For example - I would for sure buy "water blasters" that look nothing like guns and let him go to town with those all summer if it's the "chase and catch" aspect he likes. Or is it that he likes "competitive" games and it's the "I got you!" aspect that's appealing that maybe could be redirected to a sport or something? Or maybe it's the power side of it and you could sign him up for karate or something? I honestly have no idea, I'm just spitballing here.

A year is a long time for a kid to still be asking to do something when the answer is never yes and you don't even have those types of toys around.

This is very interesting to me that you have this response, because this is exactly how I feel. I'm like, why hasn't he given up yet? He's had no exposure to his Nerf-gun loving cousins the past year, which was his only other exposure. There is a boy at school who clearly likes to play gun games with sticks because that's who he gets in trouble with. Other than that, our household has been a consistent NO on this topic for over a year. That's why I'm so exasperated on how to proceed because it's like it's never going to go away until he's allowed to scratch this itch somehow. He's very physically active and in multiple sports. He loves weapons of all kinds but he doesn't watch any tv or play games that have weapons. I don't know why he's so attracted to guns.
-OP

Hmm. Is this other kid someone he looks up to? Thinks he's super cool/wants to be him? I'm really grasping at straws here, but it's gotta be SOMETHING.

I think if I were you, I'd keep trying to puzzle it out, but meanwhile, continue to say no to guns. Both cause I agree with you generally, that they're not toys, and also because I'm loathe to start allowing something just because my kid is STILL asking about it. You've picked this battle, so I think at this point you have to win it otherwise your kid is running the show. Although damn, if I were you, at this point I'd be wishing I could go back in time and just let him play with toy guns.

I think yes partly he is imitating this kid. He definitely seems to be a follower at school, being influenced by others, from what the teachers tell us. But his interest in guns preceded this school year.
-OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. It's surprising to me that he's still asking/trying this frequently after a YEAR. That's a really long time for a little kid. Have you been consistent with your "no" or have you allowed it a few times? Are there other situations where he is playing these types of games? (friends houses, relatives houses, extracurricular activities?) Where do you think this desire is coming from? I'm just wondering if there's a specific "itch" he's trying to scratch that you could find a better way to help him scratch. For example - I would for sure buy "water blasters" that look nothing like guns and let him go to town with those all summer if it's the "chase and catch" aspect he likes. Or is it that he likes "competitive" games and it's the "I got you!" aspect that's appealing that maybe could be redirected to a sport or something? Or maybe it's the power side of it and you could sign him up for karate or something? I honestly have no idea, I'm just spitballing here.

A year is a long time for a kid to still be asking to do something when the answer is never yes and you don't even have those types of toys around.

This is very interesting to me that you have this response, because this is exactly how I feel. I'm like, why hasn't he given up yet? He's had no exposure to his Nerf-gun loving cousins the past year, which was his only other exposure. There is a boy at school who clearly likes to play gun games with sticks because that's who he gets in trouble with. Other than that, our household has been a consistent NO on this topic for over a year. That's why I'm so exasperated on how to proceed because it's like it's never going to go away until he's allowed to scratch this itch somehow. He's very physically active and in multiple sports. He loves weapons of all kinds but he doesn't watch any tv or play games that have weapons. I don't know why he's so attracted to guns.
-OP

Hmm. Is this other kid someone he looks up to? Thinks he's super cool/wants to be him? I'm really grasping at straws here, but it's gotta be SOMETHING.

I think if I were you, I'd keep trying to puzzle it out, but meanwhile, continue to say no to guns. Both cause I agree with you generally, that they're not toys, and also because I'm loathe to start allowing something just because my kid is STILL asking about it. You've picked this battle, so I think at this point you have to win it otherwise your kid is running the show. Although damn, if I were you, at this point I'd be wishing I could go back in time and just let him play with toy guns.

Also - what about something like this:

https://www.kohls.com/product/prd-2598160/nerf-n-strike-stratobow-bow.jsp?skuid=65565729&CID=shopping15&utm_campaign=TOYS&utm_medium=CSE&utm_source=google&utm_product=65565729&utm_campaignid=9733267150&gclid=CjwKCAjw7J6EBhBDEiwA5UUM2rqtNbYmDxT7ZR4KgGJRS9yHup6Hr5JDxKhrbD0cDGLevRvtLUwMNhoCKkoQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

I'd allow that.

We've gotten him several bow and arrow toys and he LOVES them but still wants to do gun play.
-OP

[Anonymous]

We allow fluorescent colored water guns, but none that are black or brown or could remotely look anything like a gun even at a quick glance. We are white, and when we have non-white kids over they are only allowed to play shooting games either indoors or in the backyard. Never in the front.