Parents of short boys
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| Watch Diego Schwartzman play. Very scrappy and tenacious style of tennis. Not for everyone but he wins games (and hot girls) at 5’7” at the top level. |
Anonymous
Sorry, I haven't seen any of the follow-ups to this post until today. I was late to puberty. I went through puberty right around the same time as the growth spurt (17-18). It was related and I was a late bloomer.
It's possible OP. My father was 5'5.5" (he always said 5'6") and my mother is 5'4". My older brother is 5'8" and my sister is 5'2", so we were a small family. But my parents height was likely a result of growing up in China and different diet. They both came to the US for college in the 1950's, but by the time they came to the US, they were both past the majority of their growth stages. My siblings and I grew up UMC in the US, and likely my brother's and my greater height came from better nutrition. Note, that you should check not only you and your husband's height, but also your parents and your siblings. Sometimes genetic markers including growth can be surpressed in the parents, but still appear in children. In my case, my mother had one brother who was 5'10" which is very tall for a 20th century Chinese man. But, despite the fact that it may not necessarily be in his future, it's easier to tell at tween boy that different people grow at different times and that he may grow more when he reaches puberty. When he is older and closer to puberty, it will be easier to express in ways that he understands that his genetics have limited his height but that he can still be attractive and have good alternative strengths besides size. And as others have pointed out, there are other options for smaller young men if he wants to go into sports. You've gotten a lot of tips here, but I also know a friend whose child was small and he ended up getting into equestrian sports and his small height was useful as the horses he rode had less problems with jumping and other skills with a smaller and lighter rider. If you note, gymastics is also good. There are very few really tall gymnasts, as the larger size and weight are often a handicap at many of the skills and talents that they have to display. So, wrestling, rowing, equestrian, gymastics, lots of good options if he wants to go into sports. |
Anonymous
 
chillex! she asked if it’s a good sport for a short boy. Nobody said anything about scholarship or the olympics. |
Anonymous
What does "superior skills" mean to you?
|
Anonymous
Consult with a doctor. Growth hormone is only warranted when there is a biochemical reason limiting growth, like when a normal hormone in the body is deficient. As another PP said, it will not help a human grow beyond their normal genetic disposition. In your case, it is worth consulting with a doctor as you are less likely to tell whether your son's growth issues really are genetic (e.g. short family) or whether there are some other factors perhaps from his treatment as an infant/child prior to adoption that might be limiting him. Additionally it is harder to tell whether there is a hormonal issue without a doctor's help and testing. |
Anonymous
Yes, shorter/smaller kids have to have better skills to compete against the bigger kids. It really depends on whether the person wants to play for enjoyment or be really competitive. Note that just being bigger/taller only works if the person also has the tennis skills. Being tall is great, but if you can't figure out how to use that height to generate power for big serves and big groundstrokes, you are going to be run off the court by the smaller kids with better tennis skills. There are many tall players who have a big serve and nothing else who have done far worse than the smaller players with good shots. If you are looking for smaller players, Schwartzman is only the latest in a line of successful smaller top players. Both Rochus brothers were shorter (Olivier 5'6" and Christoph was 5'5"). |
Anonymous
What does “good sport” mean to you?
|
Anonymous
|
There's a huge difference between a 5ft 6 guy and a 5 ft 2 guy. I'd chide the former about being short but never the latter.
5 ft 6 is totally normal for most Hispanics and Asians. |
Anonymous
I have a child on growth hormone therapy. This is not something you can just do because your child is short. First off, the meds cost $4500/month and it is a bear fighting with the insurance to get them covered. Financially it’s just not do-able if your insurance declines it - which they will unless it is standard of care for your child’s diagnosis, and most insurance requires your child to be below 5th percentile for a year prior to initiating therapy. Second, it is a years-long commitment of daily injections to get a few extra inches in height. In our case, it is worth it because without this therapy, my child would be short enough that it would be a disability (below around 4’8” means you need special modifications to car pedals to be able to drive, things like that). Fortunately my child is a girl so it’s much less of an issue socially, but we will be very lucky if we can get her to 5’ with about 7 years of this therapy. A pediatric endocrinologist is the specialist who can diagnose growth disorders and prescribe treatment, if appropriate. |
Anonymous
|
For those considering the use of growth hormones for their short sons -
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/03/29/well/live/growth-hormones-short-children-height.html My DS is short too. At this point I have reached the conclusion that it is something he (and I) will just have to accept. Not going to risk hormones. |
Anonymous
You would scold or rebuke someone for being short? That seems like a you problem. |
Anonymous
d Wrestling is the answer. - mom two two tiny boys who grew up to be bad-ass, confident state-ranked lightweights |
Anonymous
DH is 5'6" and his brother is 5'3". They both are excellent tennis players. Played varsity in 8th grade at a very competitive school growing up, and DH's brother played in college (Division III). They're both lean in build, so they present as "smaller" than others their height, but it works for them. Both are really talented athletes - agility, endurance, mindset/drive - and stilll play tennis (though their old knees complain - lol) and run. DH runs marathons at a competitive pace and his brother is running again after some injuries. As the rest of their lives, they're both very successful professionally (I don't buy into the BS about short men making less money than tall men ), and they've never let their height get in the way of their social lives. Both are the shortest in their childhood/high school friend groups and both dated women taller than them before marrying.
My overall advice is to empathize with your son if he expresses unhappiness about his height. The worst thing we can do is be dismissive of our kids' feelings, even if our intentions are good (i.e. trying to help them get over it so they can succeed). The idea is to validate his feelings ("Yeah, it's hard to be different sometimes" and "That's awful. They shouldn't be picking on you for your height or anything else, really. I can see why you're upset.") and then help him move forward WHILE feeling the feelings (anger/disappointment/fear of being rejected etc.) As adults, we know it's a non-issue in the long run. This thread is full of specific examples of short men who have succeeded and thrived in all sorts of different ways. But kids live in the present. Reassuring him that his height won't get in the way of a great life isn't so comforting to a kid who feels picked on or on the "outside" of things right now. So encourage him to feel his understandable feelings with you all at home and then encourage him to find friends who aren't assholes.  Friend groups shift a lot through middle school and high school. Tons of great kids to be found.
Last thought - Try not to think of his height as an obstacle. For example, don't frame things as you can do X "even though you're short," or "it's ok that you're short." Just focus on helping him do X, like any other kid. If you want to direct him to sports that are better suited for shorter kids, go for it. Soccer is great. Tennis and wrestling, too -- especially if he's the "lean and wiry" type of strong like DH and his brother (and my high school boyfriend, who was a 5"6' wrestler). But there's really no need to reference back to his height often. Validate his feelings but be careful not to over-emphasize it yourself when he's not bringing it up. |
Anonymous
I think you are the one who needs to relax. I can feel your anxiety rising up! I seriously do not care what sport op's son plays. |
Anonymous
|
Mom of a short athletic boy now on growth hormone therapy. My son was a soccer player and grew to hate it, because his size and late onset of puberty made it difficult to compete at the level appropriate for his skills. He worked his butt off, but felt like he was constantly getting less playing time when the club picked up kids from outside. To give you perspective, when he started high school, he wasn't on an academy team, but was on a higher level team in the state. He weighed 80 pounds. He has since grown, but unfortunately, he lost his love for the game.
Based on that experience, I would say that if you are going to steer your shorter boy toward a sport, I would pick an individual sport like gymnastics, wrestling martial arts, tennis, or golf. At least that way they can develop their skills outside of the framework of a club/team lens that regularly passes over smaller players and doesn't give them a chance. By the way, none of this is to say that smaller soccer or other sports players can't be stellar, because obviously they can. But in US soccer culture, it takes a rare talent or incredible determination and commitment for a small player with late onset of puberty to keep playing in a developmentally appropriate environment. |