Parents of short boys

[Anonymous]

My sons are short and it really bothers my 14 year old since he was around 11 and some if his friends really started their growth spurts. For the last couple of years we started having him drink whole fat cow’s milk. Not sure if it helped but some studies show up to an inch of growth but when you are short every inch counts. It seems to have really helped our younger son who from 8 to 10 years old went from 7th percentile in height to 23rd.

[Anonymous]

It sucks, but the only material issue in my experience is in dating. Among men, if you've got confidence and capability, you can earn and demand respect. To be sure, I still get the occasional "I thought you'd be taller" from people I have only interacted which on the phone, which is annoying but whatever. You can manage it. But tall is a huge advantage in dating, it's reality, it sucks, there isn't much to be done about it, and you can still do fine but it is way harder -- playing the game on hardcore mode relative to the 6'2" guy who is playing on easy. It is what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I suggest that your son does Juijitsu from 10-13 or so depending if he likes it.

Then he should transition to wrestling.

He can also play lacrosse, attacks can be 5’5”.

He needs to make friends, learn self confidence and be able to deal with bullies.

My son was very small as was his friend ... they both did Juijitsi snd both when picked on at different times and when they defended themselves so confidently every body wanted to take

Also there is a viral video of two smallish guys in college and 2 football players start to try to fight them but they both knew Juijitsu and destroyed the football players.

I’m not supporting violence but my sons friends dad says his son feels like he is walking around with a super power. He was picked on once by 3 boys bigger than him and the story told about how he aptly defended himself is amazing.

Also Juijitsu teaches discipline and not to use it unless you are defending yourself.

Not gonna lie it’s hard to be short.

I agree that wrestling is an amazing sport for short boys. My short teen has found a home in the wrestling room, where size isn’t a disadvantage. He’s gained a ton of confidence.

[Anonymous]

I was 5'2" when i entered 11th grade as a 17 year old (I was just after the cut-off so was always one of the oldest in class). I was one of the 10 shortest kids in my high school class of 650. In that year, I exasperated my mother by growing 6 inches in one year. I ended junior year at 5'8". Back then my mother used to get longer jeans for me and then would hem the legs in and let them out as needed. I remember at the end of that year, my pant legs had 3 growth lines about 1-2" apart as my mother had to let my pant legs out so many times that year. I tell my kids, who are on the smaller size (twins that were born at 5th percentile and 10th percentile who are now 35th percentile and dead average for their ages at age 9), that everyone grows at different times between now and when they reach adulthood in their 20's. Some will have their growth early (like one friend who is 9, but looks like he is 13) and some will grow later like I did. The important thing is to do the best with the cards you are dealt.

So, you should look for your son's strengths and play to them. As a small kid, I found that I was fast and nimble. I ended up getting into theater in junior high and high school and found that although I wasn't a dancer, I was quite good at stage movement. I adapted to staged fight choreography (which helped when I was a Jet in "West Side Story") and was usually cast in roles where you had to move fast and well. I also adapted competitively to the Speech and Debate teams and the Math team. Not every kid needs to be an athlete. But if he wants to be athletic, then others have given you good ideas on sports that cater to his strengths. Always applaud your children's strengths.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was 5'2" when i entered 11th grade as a 17 year old (I was just after the cut-off so was always one of the oldest in class). I was one of the 10 shortest kids in my high school class of 650. In that year, I exasperated my mother by growing 6 inches in one year. I ended junior year at 5'8". Back then my mother used to get longer jeans for me and then would hem the legs in and let them out as needed. I remember at the end of that year, my pant legs had 3 growth lines about 1-2" apart as my mother had to let my pant legs out so many times that year. I tell my kids, who are on the smaller size (twins that were born at 5th percentile and 10th percentile who are now 35th percentile and dead average for their ages at age 9), that everyone grows at different times between now and when they reach adulthood in their 20's. Some will have their growth early (like one friend who is 9, but looks like he is 13) and some will grow later like I did. The important thing is to do the best with the cards you are dealt.

So, you should look for your son's strengths and play to them. As a small kid, I found that I was fast and nimble. I ended up getting into theater in junior high and high school and found that although I wasn't a dancer, I was quite good at stage movement. I adapted to staged fight choreography (which helped when I was a Jet in "West Side Story") and was usually cast in roles where you had to move fast and well. I also adapted competitively to the Speech and Debate teams and the Math team. Not every kid needs to be an athlete. But if he wants to be athletic, then others have given you good ideas on sports that cater to his strengths. Always applaud your children's strengths.

This is great advice.

Question: when did you start puberty? Were you a late bloomer, or had your physician assumed you had stopped growing and the extra growth was a surprise?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son was that boy. He is now 15 and still one of the shortest boys in his class at 5'5". It has never bothered him. You can't change genetics. He is predicted to be 5'6"-5'8" when he stops growing. He is also skinny too. Maybe 115 pounds.

OP here, that’s terrific. I’m amazed honestly. After the teasing I watched from my brother’s friend group growing up and now seeing my son starting to go through it, I don’t know how you can’t be affected.

It helps that my DS is pretty witty. He had a ready comeback for the few kids here and there who would tease him. Some of them made me cringe. His 3rd teacher told me that his response to a new student who called him short was "I'll grow but you'll always be an idiot." Yikes but that shut that kid down. No more issues from him.

[Anonymous]

As a teen, don't have him shop in the boy's dept. At least, not when that's obvious to him. Error on the side of doing whatever it takes to help him feel attractive. Make sure his clothes fit very well. Get them tailored. For very special occasions, get a custom made suit.

[Anonymous]

OP here. To the PP who grew 6 inches senior year, that’s awesome but unfortunately not genetically in the cards for my son. But I appreciated the advice. My son has so many strengths including super funny/likes acting, I have no doubt he’ll be successful no matter the path. It just hurts for a mother to hear he already hates something so much about himself/gets teased for. Thanks everyone for the advice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a teen, don't have him shop in the boy's dept. At least, not when that's obvious to him. Error on the side of doing whatever it takes to help him feel attractive. Make sure his clothes fit very well. Get them tailored. For very special occasions, get a custom made suit.

OP here, good advice. He looks great in skinny pants/jeans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a teen, don't have him shop in the boy's dept. At least, not when that's obvious to him. Error on the side of doing whatever it takes to help him feel attractive. Make sure his clothes fit very well. Get them tailored. For very special occasions, get a custom made suit.

Agree. My 5’4” teenager wears a men’s size small very comfortably.

[Anonymous]

Is that the only problem? Help him focus on the good things he has.
It's not the end of the world but with good self esteem and confidence, good and respectable people will see it, including kids in his cohort.

[Anonymous]

My DH was slightly smaller at around 10-13 but he had other issues. He had (has) terrible eyesight and to save eye sight in one of his eyes he had to wear a patch over the eye he could see out of and coke bottle glasses. Needless to say he was tormented as a child.
Our oldest at 11 is as tall as his younger brother who is 8.

My husband tells them about his time as movie like nerd and how everything he went through made him the person is today; and while it does suck it made him understand all things he did not want to be as a person and all things he should be.
Empathetic, appreciate people for what they are and the some people like him are dealt a hand by genetics have a different rode to travel. It does not ease our oldest’s daily concerns every time but gives him some hope that some things they cannot control and to make the best of what you can.

[Anonymous]

My older son is average height and younger son is small and short. My dad was 5’8”, and my MIL is only 5’0”. So very likely my youngest will be short. That said, I’ve never heard anyone tease him and he isn’t bothered. We never mention it. He plays soccer and jujitsu. His height will be whatever it will be.
Overall kids don’t seem to tease as much about differences as when I was a kid. Lots of kids wear glasses, and it doesn’t seem to be a big deal. Lots of kids have acne, it’s not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few of the short guys I knew at the Naval Academy became SEALS. They're the ones with the ideal body type for that rigor.

Short men make better pilots (better able to withstand g-forces) and most race car drivers are short.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I suggest that your son does Juijitsu from 10-13 or so depending if he likes it.

Then he should transition to wrestling.

He can also play lacrosse, attacks can be 5’5”.

He needs to make friends, learn self confidence and be able to deal with bullies.

My son was very small as was his friend ... they both did Juijitsi snd both when picked on at different times and when they defended themselves so confidently every body wanted to take

Also there is a viral video of two smallish guys in college and 2 football players start to try to fight them but they both knew Juijitsu and destroyed the football players.

I’m not supporting violence but my sons friends dad says his son feels like he is walking around with a super power. He was picked on once by 3 boys bigger than him and the story told about how he aptly defended himself is amazing.

Also Juijitsu teaches discipline and not to use it unless you are defending yourself.

Not gonna lie it’s hard to be short.

Is your son's name Danny and one of the football players named Johnny?