Parents of short boys

[Anonymous]

My son is 5 ft 7 and it hasn't stopped him one bit. Girls chase him constantly. I've never understood the stigma. It seems like only the shallowest of shallow girls care.


Being 5’7” is average height, not short. It’s not the same thing as being 5’2” or 5’3”.

I agree with you that it is not the same as being 5'2" or 5'3", but 5'7" is not average height for a man in America. 5'9" is. My husband is 5'7", and he took a LOT of crap from women he tried to date for it. Their loss, my gain, but still.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To the PP who grew 6 inches senior year, that’s awesome but unfortunately not genetically in the cards for my son. But I appreciated the advice. My son has so many strengths including super funny/likes acting, I have no doubt he’ll be successful no matter the path. It just hurts for a mother to hear he already hates something so much about himself/gets teased for. Thanks everyone for the advice!

My son is about 5'4" at almost 16. He has always been one of the shorter kids in his class. It bothered him a lot. It got worse when he hit MS and he started to pack on the weight. So, he was short and fat (his words), wore glasses and was not athletic.

Fortunately, he is super smart. Straight A student, and he said no one bullied him because they all wanted to be his "friend" so he'd help them with their HW.

I am super short, as is my brother who is as an adult 5'4". I tell my DS that even though my brother was super short, he went into the military and passed basic training. There were guys there who were much bigger than my brother who flunked out of basic training.

My advice to my DS in MS was that you cannot change your height, but don't let your height stop you from living your life and being happy. Confidence and finding something you are good at will go a long way. But, those MS years were super tough for him.

He's lost a lot of weight in HS but he's still short, and he's ok with it now because he has something he's good at. He realizes that he will probably be short as an adult, but he's come to terms with it, because as I stated, you can't change your height, but don't ever let it stop you from achieving your goals and living a happy life.

I had to have many a talks with him for him to finally get it. At 10 to 13, of course, none of those words really meant much at the time, but I hope those words have sunk in now that he is older.

Your DS has more of an advantage than my DS because at least your DS is athletic. That will help with physique and confidence, IMO. My DS is not athletic, and he knows it.

GL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My son is 5 ft 7 and it hasn't stopped him one bit. Girls chase him constantly. I've never understood the stigma. It seems like only the shallowest of shallow girls care.


Being 5’7” is average height, not short. It’s not the same thing as being 5’2” or 5’3”.

I agree with you that it is not the same as being 5'2" or 5'3", but 5'7" is not average height for a man in America. 5'9" is. My husband is 5'7", and he took a LOT of crap from women he tried to date for it. Their loss, my gain, but still.

I would happily trade my 6’3” DH who is an a-hole for a 5’7” gem of a guy.

[Anonymous]

I second jiu jitsu. My boyfriend is 5'6" and a black belt. He's got plenty of self-confidence. Also, look at the height of some mma fighters.

[Anonymous]

In our family we are all short. One son was so small we went to children's hospital to make sure growth was normal and there wasn't any abnormality. You might want to do that too. If there is something to treat, they will tell you. As far as advice, I recommend building positive self-esteem - this can be through ANYTHING he sparks to. All kids are different, but lean into the things that make him feel positive and capable of doing anything. As for the height, reinforce that we are all different -- height, weight, skin color, hair. He is perfect just the way he is. Also, helpful to have a few comebacks to the snarky comments. other kids can be mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 10 year son is 5th percentile for height and has been since he was 2. His doctor has checked everything, nutritionist said he’s a fantastic eater, he’s super healthy and this is just the way he is supposed to be. Unfortunately he has been struggling with it a lot lately and I really don’t know what else to say. It doesn’t help that all his friends are super big for their age. He’s the shortest kid in his grade and he’s starting to get teased by his friends and classmates about being so little. My brother was like him growing up and is 5’5” now which is probably where my son will end up. Being short really bothers my brother to this day so he will unfortunately have no good advice for my son. Does anyone have good advice on how to help him when he says he hates being little and dealing with the teasing? Advice for boys only please, as it’s very different being a short girl. Thanks.

Hi OP, my almost-12-year-old is also very short, and my DH is 5'6". I am several inches taller, but it looks like DS is on the DH trajectory. He is so short that he still needs a booster seat in the car and also extremely slim (like 1st percentile slim, despite being a great eater). It's pretty clearly genetics, and like your son his friends look giant to me.

My son has thankfully not been teased, to my knowledge. That would bother me. If it feels like it's becoming a real problem and is impacting his self esteem, and is happening at school, I would consider speaking with the teacher. This trends towards bullying in my mind.

There's a wonderful book from the 1980s called Growing Up Feeling Good, by Ellen Rosenberg. It was my growing up bible as a tween/teen, and my DS now enjoys it too. It has a great chapter on body types and coming to terms with your body especially if you are on one end of a spectrum (tall, short, fat, skinny, etc).

I will say that my DH is very professionally successful, as a lawyer, and several other men in his extended family who are quite short are also professionally successful. DH is also very athletic--he loves basketball and pre-pandemic played regularly with a group of guys. I don't know if there are short male role models, including pro athletes, who might be helpful for your son to know about, but maybe it's worth exploring? Best of luck. It can be hard to be a short boy.

[Anonymous]

Is Human Growth Hormone (if legal) or other drug to increase height an option?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I second jiu jitsu. My boyfriend is 5'6" and a black belt. He's got plenty of self-confidence. Also, look at the height of some mma fighters.

This. Because, unfortunately lots of bigger boys in school and other situations will try to bully and start fights with the smaller easier target. Knowing that you can handle your aggressor goes a long way to general self confidence.

Wrestling and jiu jitsu also develop discipline and tenacity which are invaluable in all areas of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is Human Growth Hormone (if legal) or other drug to increase height an option?

Yes, my son uses growth hormones after being diagnosed with growth hormone deficiency. In his case, his production of growth hormones barely registered. It was not a matter of him being only 5'5 or 5/6, but the endocrinologist's opinion was that without it he would be less than 5 foot.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you should look into the environment (academic and other) that your sons attend. Height has never been an issue at school or elsewhere for my son. If it was, he wouldn't be there. Bullying should not be tolerated anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is Human Growth Hormone (if legal) or other drug to increase height an option?

It’s no longer considered a good idea in a healthy child with normal hormone levels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is also very small - almost 10 and probably 25% for height (so not as small as your son but it's noticeable). Interestingly it hasnt really posed any issues yet - he's aware of it (especially because his 7 year old brother is basically the same size and people often think they're twins) but it doesn't seem to bother him. He is scrappy and athletic so that probably helps.

It's unlikely he will end up very short - I'm 5'7, DH is 5'10 and also grew 9 inches his freshman year in HS, so DS1 seems to be following that same pattern.

I agree that if he's struggling with it, get him into something where it's an advantage - jujitsu, wrestling, even soccer if he's fast.

We are very late growers in my family. My just turned 13-year old is tiny—skinny and short. He is tough though and is a good athlete.

His brother was always stocky and average size, seemingly to be shorter than most friend in 7th. He grew 9-10 inches from spring of 8th to spring of 9th grade.

I’m hoping my younger one is just following that route, but he seems much tinier than brother was at that age...and he has some very tall friends (with very tall friends). My husband and I are average height with tall siblings/parents

[Anonymous]

Mom of a very short boy here. Would tennis be a good sport for a short boy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom of a very short boy here. Would tennis be a good sport for a short boy?

I’d say yes but he’d need to do extra work to achieve superior skills to compete with taller kids whose long limbs are advantageous in serves and baseline strokes which is 75% of the game nowadays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom of a very short boy here. Would tennis be a good sport for a short boy?

I’d say yes but he’d need to do extra work to achieve superior skills to compete with taller kids whose long limbs are advantageous in serves and baseline strokes which is 75% of the game nowadays.

np Since when does every activity mean it is going to lead to scholarship in college or the Olympics? Why can't her son play tennis for fun and exercise?