Parents of short boys

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 11 year old twin daughters. They are average height but still underweight since they were born so I can relate to the concerns you have.

I make sure that my daughters are very active (They ski, swim, play a variety of team sports). I tell them it doesn’t matter how skinny they are, their body is strong and capable.

That’s great! But it’s different for boys. Maybe it shouldn’t be, but it absolutely still is just different.

Yeah, “My daughters are skinny” is not the same thing as “my son is short” at all.

[Anonymous]

I have 2 boys and both are short, as is my DH. All will be about 5'4 when fully grown. Agree it's how you deal with it - its really hard during the middle school years when boys are inclined to talk all the time about puberty and getting bigger, etc. It gets easier. My kids are both in high school and really don't talk about it anymore.

My DH is successful and short so it's easy for me to say it hasn't affected him at all.

All are athletes.

Just don't make a big deal, if they are upset, just say yeah, it sucks sometimes but nothing you can do about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son was fairly short and it bothered him too. Not what you are talking about (mine was in 35%), but he was the shortest in his friend group. He's 14 now and sprouted a bit, but he still has some super-short friends. They are now all into weight lifting. So the recommendation to do martial arts or something similar is a helpful one for self esteem.

Guys are very into body image right now too (which I get isn't super healthy, either), but if your son is interested in lifting and getting in shape in that regard, that's something that can be done at any height. And there is a confidence that comes from exercise and being fit. I wouldn't say, hey, let's get you to the gym to build some muscle. I'd approach it (if he has interest) in adding more fitness to your lifestyles.

OP here, thanks. We are a family that loves exercise. Son is very athletic and strong (loves push ups) and is great at soccer (very aggressive, not scared of big guys on field so far). He reads lots of bios of all the short soccer stars out there. He tried martial arts when he was younger, was good at it because he’s generally athletic but really didn’t like it. He much prefers team sports not individual. However I do see the benefit as PP says of martial arts for self defense/confidence. I could see him weight lifting as a teen.

Soccer and wrestling are great, actually being short is an advantage. Mikhail Baryshnikov is 5'6 and had a bunch of beautiful girlfriends and he's amazing.

[Anonymous]

I don't have advice for your son (I'm a woman, and super tall, so is my whole family) but I have advice for you - which is to find some shorter guys who have confidence and talk to them about how they got there.

I (5'10") had a serious boyfriend who was 5'4" for many years. We broke up for completely unrelated reasons, but his height never seemed to bother him (nor did our height difference). He had tons of self confidence. If I were you, I'd find someone like that and go to them for tips and thoughts on how to survive middle school.

[Anonymous]

My son is 5 ft 7 and it hasn't stopped him one bit. Girls chase him constantly. I've never understood the stigma. It seems like only the shallowest of shallow girls care.

[Anonymous]

My son was that boy. He is now 15 and still one of the shortest boys in his class at 5'5". It has never bothered him. You can't change genetics. He is predicted to be 5'6"-5'8" when he stops growing. He is also skinny too. Maybe 115 pounds.

[Anonymous]

OP, maybe it's genetics, maybe it's not. I would take him to a pediatric endocrinologist to have them check. Pediatricians may not necessarily have the expertise to check everything. I took my son, and my friend took hers. Her doctor told her that it was genetics. Ped Endoc determined it was more than that, and his growth curve went from predicted under 5'5" to over 5'8". In our son's case we found out it's delayed puberty, he's just super slow. (Bone age at 16 is same as 13.5 yr old, he'll finish growing in his early 20s).


Meanwhile follow the advice of the other PPs, but don't totally rule out checking the medical angle.

I can highly recommend Dr. Akhtar. I also know that Children's has good ones on staff.

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/profiles/details/yasmin-akhtar

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 11 year old twin daughters. They are average height but still underweight since they were born so I can relate to the concerns you have.

I make sure that my daughters are very active (They ski, swim, play a variety of team sports). I tell them it doesn’t matter how skinny they are, their body is strong and capable.

That’s great! But it’s different for boys. Maybe it shouldn’t be, but it absolutely still is just different.

Yeah, “My daughters are skinny” is not the same thing as “my son is short” at all.

No kidding. We can hear all the world's models whining about how skinny they are.

[Anonymous]

He needs to have something to feel proud about. Whether it’s his athletic prowess, sports abilities or his sense of humor. There’s a reason a lot of short guys are very funny and interesting. They felt they had to be funny to get attention and then they really liked it.

Don’t tell your son it’s okay or not so bad to be short. Tell him it’s okay to wish you were different. But he’s going to find that there’s plenty of things about him that are just as good or better than being tall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son was that boy. He is now 15 and still one of the shortest boys in his class at 5'5". It has never bothered him. You can't change genetics. He is predicted to be 5'6"-5'8" when he stops growing. He is also skinny too. Maybe 115 pounds.

OP here, that’s terrific. I’m amazed honestly. After the teasing I watched from my brother’s friend group growing up and now seeing my son starting to go through it, I don’t know how you can’t be affected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He needs to have something to feel proud about. Whether it’s his athletic prowess, sports abilities or his sense of humor. There’s a reason a lot of short guys are very funny and interesting. They felt they had to be funny to get attention and then they really liked it.

Don’t tell your son it’s okay or not so bad to be short. Tell him it’s okay to wish you were different. But he’s going to find that there’s plenty of things about him that are just as good or better than being tall.

I like this advice, thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He needs to have something to feel proud about. Whether it’s his athletic prowess, sports abilities or his sense of humor. There’s a reason a lot of short guys are very funny and interesting. They felt they had to be funny to get attention and then they really liked it.

Don’t tell your son it’s okay or not so bad to be short. Tell him it’s okay to wish you were different. But he’s going to find that there’s plenty of things about him that are just as good or better than being tall.

On a similar note, tell him not to exaggerate his height later in life. My Ex is 5'8", and he always said he was 5'8". I'm the same height. So many men add inches, but what's the point? We can all see it. Friend's DH tells everyone he's 5'9", but he's shorter than I am. So pointless. It would be like me telling people I weigh 110 lbs. (I'm a 6, so clearly more than 110 lbs at my height). Or lying about my age, when it's pretty obvious. We all wish we were (younger/thinner/taller/shorter/richer/smarter). That's ok.

[Anonymous]

Genetics. And men get criticized for fat shaming but it’s fine for women to completely disregard any man shorter than 5’10. Sorry for your genetics

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 boys and both are short, as is my DH. All will be about 5'4 when fully grown. Agree it's how you deal with it - its really hard during the middle school years when boys are inclined to talk all the time about puberty and getting bigger, etc. It gets easier. My kids are both in high school and really don't talk about it anymore.

My DH is successful and short so it's easy for me to say it hasn't affected him at all.

All are athletes.

Just don't make a big deal, if they are upset, just say yeah, it sucks sometimes but nothing you can do about it.

Everyone is giving you much great advice especially about sports. I like this PP’s advice on being matter of fact: yeah it suck but there’s nothing you can do about it. Chin up. Shrug it off. Have him focus on sports. I do think it’s good to have some zingers in his pockets if a-holes give him a hard time.

[Anonymous]

A few of the short guys I knew at the Naval Academy became SEALS. They're the ones with the ideal body type for that rigor.