Anonymous wrote:My DH (40) and I (38) are fairly low energy and we’re homebodies. During our free time we’re the type of people who enjoy watching Netflix and eating takeout. We have an 18 month old who is the light of our lives and was conceived via IVF. We’re considering having another child but are quite happy with our little trio. I always thought I wanted 2 kids but now I’m not so sure (given our lifestyle). DH will likely have to resume traveling for work once COVID is under control leaving me with the lion’s share of kid and dog duties during the week. I can’t imaging having to haul a baby and toddler to daycare, pick them up, get them fed, bathed and to bed - all on my own, with no family or support nearby to help. There’s a chance we may be able to move closer to family (in another state) but no guarantee, and even then, they can’t assist on a daily basis due to age (nor would I expect them to).
I plan to do another round of IVF and freeze the embryos so in theory I could space the second a little further apart. We already have another genetically normal embryo on ice.
I’ve never met or frankly heard of a parent who regrets their second but I know there are others who regret not having more than 1 child. I have 2 older siblings and we’re still all really close. DH is an only and thinks he missed out on having sibling around.
Has anyone been through this? At what point were you ready to have a second? Should I just bite the bullet and do it? I don’t know that I want to be in my early 40s with a newborn so I need to decide fairly soon. Having a second just scares the hell out of me with all of the work (and expense) involved.
So I’m not a homebody like you OP but I am fairly low energy especially around kids. I don’t enjoy playing with them and I find myself tired a lot. That being said I’m now pregnant with my third 😀 I think having at least one sibling is important for the family structure plus the high energy toddler and elementary school years don’t last forever.
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