Is it necessary to reveal that you had a vasectomy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not only should you disclose this before getting serious, but I think you have a moral obligation.

I wish my ex had gotten one. He never wanted kids, but also never did anything to prevent having them. I was on the pill when I got pregnant. He is the shittiest father in the world.

Why did you have kids with someone who didn't want kids?

Duh...she got pregnant. It was unplanned. Why people think all kids are planned is beyond me. 50% of pregnancies are still unplanned. NP here. I had kids with my ex who I never wanted kids with. Both shocking accidents. It happens. Your question is stupid.

Take control of your life. If you get pregnant and don't want to be pregnant you get an abortion. If you're with someone who doesn't want kids and you decide to have kids anyway you don't get to whine that they aren't a good parent.

Many people are morally opposed to abortion. It is not that easy if you have not been in that situation.

It's very easy to say "we're not compatible" when you meet someone who doesn't want kids and you know you would have a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its interesting how on this thread honesty is not respected. All OP needs to say is "I don't want children". He can tell any future partners that he has never wanted children. This should be enough. He does not need to disclose personal medical information, its no one else's business at the early stage of dating. Within a committed relationship there may be more reason to disclose the information.

Its interesting that women want to know the permanence because most think they can or will change his mind or what will trick him or trap him with pregnancy. Its quite interesting that people won't just accept what is said to them.

Perhaps the real issue here is that if you are dating someone who says they don't want kids and you do then stop dating them and move on.

This is idiotic. I don’t take hormonal BC normally because of negative side effects. It’s sociopathic to let a woman keep taking on the risk, expense, and annoyance of BC when you know there’s no point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:tell or don't tell... It may not matter that much because many people with think they will be able to change your mind about having kids in the future...

In my situation I told my wife about my "V" early in the relationship (1st month around 2nd-sh date) she said "that's fine because I don't want kids either"
We got married and a year into the marriage she started pressuring for kids. Started picking fights about having kids. Its a monthly fight that starts just before ovulation and calms down then starts again the next moth. Her mom is involved and also putting pressure.
I've told her that I was very clear about the deal before marriage and she simply doesn't care. Tells me she changed her mind and only agreed to marry me because she thought she could change my mind. We have visited fertility doctors and they said its very expensive to do a reversal and 25% chance of success. I don't agree to spend that amount of money for those odds. So now she is talking about sperm banks...

Your best be it to find a woman that is willing to make the same commitment you've made. Otherwise she is likely to change her mind because a clear agreement doesn't mean anything...

Are you a troll? I’m a childfree by choice woman and think it’s absolutely stupid for your wife to bully you like this. On the plus side, I think my no-more-kids husband should feel damn lucky he got me!

"are you a troll? why do posters always go for that when the see something that doesn't fit their world view. No, I'm not a troll. This is absolutely my experience. I suspect you are an outlier. It appears obvious to me that my wife omitted the important phrase "not right now" when she agreed to no children because I've had a "V." This was totally unfair of her. Honestly I don't know where the marriage will go from here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:tell or don't tell... It may not matter that much because many people with think they will be able to change your mind about having kids in the future...

In my situation I told my wife about my "V" early in the relationship (1st month around 2nd-sh date) she said "that's fine because I don't want kids either"
We got married and a year into the marriage she started pressuring for kids. Started picking fights about having kids. Its a monthly fight that starts just before ovulation and calms down then starts again the next moth. Her mom is involved and also putting pressure.
I've told her that I was very clear about the deal before marriage and she simply doesn't care. Tells me she changed her mind and only agreed to marry me because she thought she could change my mind. We have visited fertility doctors and they said its very expensive to do a reversal and 25% chance of success. I don't agree to spend that amount of money for those odds. So now she is talking about sperm banks...

Your best be it to find a woman that is willing to make the same commitment you've made. Otherwise she is likely to change her mind because a clear agreement doesn't mean anything...

Are you a troll? I’m a childfree by choice woman and think it’s absolutely stupid for your wife to bully you like this. On the plus side, I think my no-more-kids husband should feel damn lucky he got me!

"are you a troll? why do posters always go for that when the see something that doesn't fit their world view. No, I'm not a troll. This is absolutely my experience. I suspect you are an outlier. It appears obvious to me that my wife omitted the important phrase "not right now" when she agreed to no children because I've had a "V." This was totally unfair of her. Honestly I don't know where the marriage will go from here.

Well, PP you have my sympathy. Indeed I am an outlier. I keep on getting harassed by my stepson and his wife about having children with his dad. It’s just weird...like how many times do I have to make it clear that I really do not want children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its interesting how on this thread honesty is not respected. All OP needs to say is "I don't want children". He can tell any future partners that he has never wanted children. This should be enough. He does not need to disclose personal medical information, its no one else's business at the early stage of dating. Within a committed relationship there may be more reason to disclose the information.

Its interesting that women want to know the permanence because most think they can or will change his mind or what will trick him or trap him with pregnancy. Its quite interesting that people won't just accept what is said to them.

Perhaps the real issue here is that if you are dating someone who says they don't want kids and you do then stop dating them and move on.

This is idiotic. I don’t take hormonal BC normally because of negative side effects. It’s sociopathic to let a woman keep taking on the risk, expense, and annoyance of BC when you know there’s no point.

There are condoms.