Is it necessary to reveal that you had a vasectomy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I have reservations about sharing my private medical information.

You can't even be honest and upfront. No relationship for you, not with this frame of mind

OP and his sockpuppetts are women hating incels, pay them no mind. Time to dead this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its not impossible. Several ways to still have kids. My husband had one prior to me. We have kids.

Okay... so why keep it a secret?

Because you can have a lot of fun with it as I have. Most women do NOT require condoms for sex when dating. Shocker, I know but they hate them even more than men. You would also be surprised at the amount of women who will tell you it's OK, she can't get pregnant right now or, please don't pull out. I've had two try to tell me they were pregnant or thought they were pregnant to see what I would do.

[Anonymous]

When I've told women I've dated that I have a V, they absolutely loved to know that and praised me for it. I don't know why you would keep that a secret with any potential sex partner. I'll gladly tell anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its not impossible. Several ways to still have kids. My husband had one prior to me. We have kids.

Okay... so why keep it a secret?

Because you can have a lot of fun with it as I have. Most women do NOT require condoms for sex when dating. Shocker, I know but they hate them even more than men. You would also be surprised at the amount of women who will tell you it's OK, she can't get pregnant right now or, please don't pull out. I've had two try to tell me they were pregnant or thought they were pregnant to see what I would do.

You need to raise the bar and keep it in your pants. Trying finding one decent woman and go from there. At your current rate you're destined for a horrible STD or worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its not impossible. Several ways to still have kids. My husband had one prior to me. We have kids.

Okay... so why keep it a secret?

Because you can have a lot of fun with it as I have. Most women do NOT require condoms for sex when dating. Shocker, I know but they hate them even more than men. You would also be surprised at the amount of women who will tell you it's OK, she can't get pregnant right now or, please don't pull out. I've had two try to tell me they were pregnant or thought they were pregnant to see what I would do.

You need to raise the bar and keep it in your pants. Trying finding one decent woman and go from there. At your current rate you're destined for a horrible STD or worse.

Yes I know. Will you feel sorry for me as I feel sorry for the miserable sex life you surely have? Don't hate on me for enjoying my life to the fullest. I'm not looking for one decent woman to "go from there" if it means a lifetime of monogamy, or as recounted so many times here, eventual chastity just because my one decent woman suddenly made that decision for me. BTDT. Never again. I'm not lowering the bar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. It cements in her mind that it’s a permanent choice she needs to sign up for vs “as of today neither of us want kids.”

Put another way... why would you keep it a secret, other than that you think she might not actually be okay with “forever door closed no chance” and want to avoid her weighing that appropriately?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Dude, just stop.

Are you the 45 year old dad who wants to date a younger woman with no kids? If you need to lie about the vasectomy, you’re a huge creep.

You need a break from dating. Focus on getting a modicum of morals.

+10000

OMG, it's totally him.

This guy is really fiending for a woman, going crazy during quarantine.

OP, lay off the sexual fantasies and focus on your kids for now. Just calm down.

Both of you are nuts. Stop with your shitty accusations until OP confirms things.

Okay, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I've told women I've dated that I have a V, they absolutely loved to know that and praised me for it. I don't know why you would keep that a secret with any potential sex partner. I'll gladly tell anyone.

Man here. Same thing. Especially with younger women, they like that they don't have to worry about pregnancy. I remember once while living abroad I dated a woman and she didn't know the word in English and I didn't know it in her language so I awkwardly pulled up wikipedia for "vasectomy" then switched it to her language and gave her 2 minute to skim the article, while we were naked in bed and about to get it on. In her culture, use of the pill is not common because they are suspicious of the hormones or something like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not only should you disclose this before getting serious, but I think you have a moral obligation.

I wish my ex had gotten one. He never wanted kids, but also never did anything to prevent having them. I was on the pill when I got pregnant. He is the shittiest father in the world.

Why did you have kids with someone who didn't want kids?

Duh...she got pregnant. It was unplanned. Why people think all kids are planned is beyond me. 50% of pregnancies are still unplanned. NP here. I had kids with my ex who I never wanted kids with. Both shocking accidents. It happens. Your question is stupid.

Every time you have sex you risk getting pregnant. You were stupid to have sex with someone you didn’t want to have kids with. Twice. That’s on you. Not “failed” BC.

[Anonymous]

Are you the divorced dad with two kids and a vasectomy OP?

Say you don't want more children. Not all vasectomies take permanently, so if you really don't want to have any more kids you will need to use protection any how.

[Anonymous]

Wait, why would you not want to tell? If you’ve had a vasectomy, surely you’re looking for a woman who DOES NOT want kids, right? Any woman who doesn’t want kids would be THRILLED by this news.

It should come up before you have sex, when you’re discussing birth control and STD testing. No need to mention on the first date, obviously, although again, I can’t see it being anything but a boon for your prospects.

(Unless of course you’re hoping to date women regardless of whether or not they want kids, in which case, you’re kind of a scumbag for contemplating deceit by silence.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you the divorced dad with two kids and a vasectomy OP?

Say you don't want more children. Not all vasectomies take permanently, so if you really don't want to have any more kids you will need to use protection any how.

that's not true. The amount of vasectomies that actually fail is so tiny to be inconsequential. Those are probably really poor doctors who didn't do any follow-up either to check sperm count afterwards. You can definitely consider vasectomy permanent. Nobody gets a vasectomy to continue to use condoms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, why would you not want to tell? If you’ve had a vasectomy, surely you’re looking for a woman who DOES NOT want kids, right? Any woman who doesn’t want kids would be THRILLED by this news.

It should come up before you have sex, when you’re discussing birth control and STD testing. No need to mention on the first date, obviously, although again, I can’t see it being anything but a boon for your prospects.

(Unless of course you’re hoping to date women regardless of whether or not they want kids, in which case, you’re kind of a scumbag for contemplating deceit by silence.)

as I mentioned before the really fun ones today are those who think they can trick you into getting her pregnant. That's the most fun you can have with a vasectomy.

[Anonymous]

tell or don't tell... It may not matter that much because many people with think they will be able to change your mind about having kids in the future...

In my situation I told my wife about my "V" early in the relationship (1st month around 2nd-sh date) she said "that's fine because I don't want kids either"
We got married and a year into the marriage she started pressuring for kids. Started picking fights about having kids. Its a monthly fight that starts just before ovulation and calms down then starts again the next moth. Her mom is involved and also putting pressure.
I've told her that I was very clear about the deal before marriage and she simply doesn't care. Tells me she changed her mind and only agreed to marry me because she thought she could change my mind. We have visited fertility doctors and they said its very expensive to do a reversal and 25% chance of success. I don't agree to spend that amount of money for those odds. So now she is talking about sperm banks...

Your best be it to find a woman that is willing to make the same commitment you've made. Otherwise she is likely to change her mind because a clear agreement doesn't mean anything...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:tell or don't tell... It may not matter that much because many people with think they will be able to change your mind about having kids in the future...

In my situation I told my wife about my "V" early in the relationship (1st month around 2nd-sh date) she said "that's fine because I don't want kids either"
We got married and a year into the marriage she started pressuring for kids. Started picking fights about having kids. Its a monthly fight that starts just before ovulation and calms down then starts again the next moth. Her mom is involved and also putting pressure.
I've told her that I was very clear about the deal before marriage and she simply doesn't care. Tells me she changed her mind and only agreed to marry me because she thought she could change my mind. We have visited fertility doctors and they said its very expensive to do a reversal and 25% chance of success. I don't agree to spend that amount of money for those odds. So now she is talking about sperm banks...

Your best be it to find a woman that is willing to make the same commitment you've made. Otherwise she is likely to change her mind because a clear agreement doesn't mean anything...

Are you a troll? I’m a childfree by choice woman and think it’s absolutely stupid for your wife to bully you like this. On the plus side, I think my no-more-kids husband should feel damn lucky he got me!