Lied about age

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:A good friend of mine is 53 and he has his age as 48 in his profile. He met a wonderful woman and still hasn’t told her his real age. Both he, and my husband, think that he needs to date her for another month or so, and then when he reveals the truth, she’ll be somewhat committed to him and it won’t be a big deal to her.

I have told them that this is the exact opposite of how women think.


Ouch, that's terrible. Especially if she's much younger, she might already compromising because of "his great personality".
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My favorite "lie" were the guys who never mentioned they had kids until we were on a date.

I'm sure I'm a "crazy bitch" in a lot of stories, but the minute they mentioned having kids I paid for my drinks and left without another word. Yes, I made it clear in my profile that I didn't want kids. Which meant these dads were either illiterate or thought they were sooooo fantastic that they could change my mind. Neither is a good trait.


While I agree with you that they should have put having kids with the rest of information about themselves - you not wanting kids for most people means "not wanting kids on your own".

Since this info comes from a selection of generated answers, you need to inform these men that you don't want their kids either in your profile.


Does it? If a man says he doesn't want kids and you have a 3 year old would you think "he doesn't want kids but surely he's going to be OK with a child in the home for 15 years"? That's just not rational thinking. People who don't want kids don't want them. Not even "just every other week".

There's a reason they don't mention having kids. Like the age thing they're just trying to sneak around other people's preferences.


Last time I've done online dating there was a part where you state if you have kids or not (doesn't have them, but wants them / doesn't have them and doesn't want them). If this particular man stated that he didn't have any kids, than he was lying.

But my point remains "doesn't have kids and doesn't want them" means that you don't want to procreate, not necessarily that you don't want to date men with kids.


You used OKCupid too? And yes, they would leave that section blank. If they stated they had kids I never bothered with them. I think we'll have to agree to disagree re: "doesn't have kids and doesn't want them". Every childfree person will tell you that not wanting kids means they're not going to live with your kids. DINK /= "Dual Income and I Babysit His Kids"


Interesting! Never knew that.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My favorite "lie" were the guys who never mentioned they had kids until we were on a date.

I'm sure I'm a "crazy bitch" in a lot of stories, but the minute they mentioned having kids I paid for my drinks and left without another word. Yes, I made it clear in my profile that I didn't want kids. Which meant these dads were either illiterate or thought they were sooooo fantastic that they could change my mind. Neither is a good trait.


While I agree with you that they should have put having kids with the rest of information about themselves - you not wanting kids for most people means "not wanting kids on your own".

Since this info comes from a selection of generated answers, you need to inform these men that you don't want their kids either in your profile.


Does it? If a man says he doesn't want kids and you have a 3 year old would you think "he doesn't want kids but surely he's going to be OK with a child in the home for 15 years"? That's just not rational thinking. People who don't want kids don't want them. Not even "just every other week".

There's a reason they don't mention having kids. Like the age thing they're just trying to sneak around other people's preferences.


Last time I've done online dating there was a part where you state if you have kids or not (doesn't have them, but wants them / doesn't have them and doesn't want them). If this particular man stated that he didn't have any kids, than he was lying.

But my point remains "doesn't have kids and doesn't want them" means that you don't want to procreate, not necessarily that you don't want to date men with kids.


You used OKCupid too? And yes, they would leave that section blank. If they stated they had kids I never bothered with them. I think we'll have to agree to disagree re: "doesn't have kids and doesn't want them". Every childfree person will tell you that not wanting kids means they're not going to live with your kids. DINK /= "Dual Income and I Babysit His Kids"


Kudos to you for your honesty, even if it's ugly.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A good friend of mine is 53 and he has his age as 48 in his profile. He met a wonderful woman and still hasn’t told her his real age. Both he, and my husband, think that he needs to date her for another month or so, and then when he reveals the truth, she’ll be somewhat committed to him and it won’t be a big deal to her.

I have told them that this is the exact opposite of how women think.


I hope he's dating a nice 45 yo who's actually 55.

PP here. Hahahaha!! That would be amazing. I’m going to plant this seed of doubt with him the next time I see him, if she hasn’t dumped him already.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A good friend of mine is 53 and he has his age as 48 in his profile. He met a wonderful woman and still hasn’t told her his real age. Both he, and my husband, think that he needs to date her for another month or so, and then when he reveals the truth, she’ll be somewhat committed to him and it won’t be a big deal to her.

I have told them that this is the exact opposite of how women think.


I hope he's dating a nice 45 yo who's actually 55.

PP here. Hahahaha!! That would be amazing. I’m going to plant this seed of doubt with him the next time I see him, if she hasn’t dumped him already.


!!! DP. Don't forget to come back with an update
Anonymous
I dated a woman last summer who lied to make herself a few years older because she din't think I'd respect her intellectually or giver her a chance at her actual age.

As always, the internet is undefeated when it comes to learning the truth.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Who cares about their age if they look hot? And they are healthy? And their STD screening came back clean?




Tendency to lie is a huge deal breaker.


Meh! It is slim pickings out there.
Anonymous
I date a woman who claimed to be 10 years younger than she actually was. She had more problems than I could deal with.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Deal-breaker. I once stayed with a man who had lied about his age, and he ended up lying about a lot more serious things.


This.

It is a line they are willing to cross, when that is to their advantage.

That speaks volumes.
Anonymous

+1 I admit to one of those who shave a few years from my profile mostly because I wanted to meet someone younger with kids my age (I had kids late in life). I usually came clean before the first date. One woman was particularly upset with me for misrepresenting my age--but it didn't seem to matter that her photo looked like it was from 10 years ago. I have been off the market for several years as I did find happiness with a wonderful woman.

You are still lying. No way you were looking for someone younger with kids the same age. I pity the fool who is investing her time into you - liar, liar, pants on fire.

You sound like you have a little baggage to carry. Good luck. How many of you out there describe yourselves as slim when you could afford to lose a few pounds. Which is a worse lie, weight or age, or maybe there are those who say that they went to an Ivy League school, which means that they attended a summer program on campus.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My favorite "lie" were the guys who never mentioned they had kids until we were on a date.

I'm sure I'm a "crazy bitch" in a lot of stories, but the minute they mentioned having kids I paid for my drinks and left without another word. Yes, I made it clear in my profile that I didn't want kids. Which meant these dads were either illiterate or thought they were sooooo fantastic that they could change my mind. Neither is a good trait.


I’m female, but I never list that I have kids because I’m afraid of men who will target me for access to my children. I have met men online before who I later discovered were convicted of violent crimes.

I understand that it may upset some men but our safety comes first.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My favorite "lie" were the guys who never mentioned they had kids until we were on a date.

I'm sure I'm a "crazy bitch" in a lot of stories, but the minute they mentioned having kids I paid for my drinks and left without another word. Yes, I made it clear in my profile that I didn't want kids. Which meant these dads were either illiterate or thought they were sooooo fantastic that they could change my mind. Neither is a good trait.


I’m female, but I never list that I have kids because I’m afraid of men who will target me for access to my children. I have met men online before who I later discovered were convicted of violent crimes.

I understand that it may upset some men but our safety comes first.


Yep. A lot of pedophiles/sex abusers target women with children.
Anonymous
I only know of one guy I dated that lied about his age. He admitted it to me maybe half a year into dating. It also turned out he had lied about being enrolled in school. He had dropped out. He was overall a very sweet guy, but he was insecure and a little controlling because of it.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I only know of one guy I dated that lied about his age. He admitted it to me maybe half a year into dating. It also turned out he had lied about being enrolled in school. He had dropped out. He was overall a very sweet guy, but he was insecure and a little controlling because of it.


Isn't everyone insecure though? Nobody's perfect at least not outside the internet.
Anonymous
If it is just a couple of years, they might be worried they were getting fewer hits on online dating. I wouldn't see that as a deal breaker. More than a few would give me pause.
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