Lied about age

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I originally went into this thread thinking no big deal, but the more I think about it, the more I think this is a deal breaker. It is a small, stupid, inconsequential thing to lie about. If you lie about small stupid and inconsequential things, you will lie about much more important things.

I agree, and the "I want to get past filters" justification makes it worse to me, not better. If someone says they don't want to date you it's kind of gross to try to "sneak" around that. There's a difference between casting a wide net and misrepresenting yourself to get more matches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I originally went into this thread thinking no big deal, but the more I think about it, the more I think this is a deal breaker. It is a small, stupid, inconsequential thing to lie about. If you lie about small stupid and inconsequential things, you will lie about much more important things.

I agree, and the "I want to get past filters" justification makes it worse to me, not better. If someone says they don't want to date you it's kind of gross to try to "sneak" around that. There's a difference between casting a wide net and misrepresenting yourself to get more matches.

Completely agree.

Somehow I had it messed up on my age on one of the sites, so I flipped from 39 to 40 about three days early and I watched the number of matches go away almost in real time. That's just part of what comes with being single and not being dead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I originally went into this thread thinking no big deal, but the more I think about it, the more I think this is a deal breaker. It is a small, stupid, inconsequential thing to lie about. If you lie about small stupid and inconsequential things, you will lie about much more important things.

I agree, and the "I want to get past filters" justification makes it worse to me, not better. If someone says they don't want to date you it's kind of gross to try to "sneak" around that. There's a difference between casting a wide net and misrepresenting yourself to get more matches.

As someone who has online dated off and on over 6 years over probably 10 different sites, if you don’t realize that most people on online dating are misrepresenting themselves to a degree, you haven’t done much online dating. Whether it’s shaving years off an age, adding inches to height, wearing a ball cap in photos to hide baldness, using photos that are filtered or professionally (or not) edited, saying they’re a non-smoker when really they’re a social smoker - it’s all people minimizing what makes them insecure/unappealing. It’s fine if OP doesn’t want to date someone the age that their person has turned out to be, but realize that it’s unlikely the next profile or the next 10 you run across is going to be 100% accurate upfront. That’s just not the norm. It’s not so much about dishonesty -it’s more about insecurity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I originally went into this thread thinking no big deal, but the more I think about it, the more I think this is a deal breaker. It is a small, stupid, inconsequential thing to lie about. If you lie about small stupid and inconsequential things, you will lie about much more important things.

I agree, and the "I want to get past filters" justification makes it worse to me, not better. If someone says they don't want to date you it's kind of gross to try to "sneak" around that. There's a difference between casting a wide net and misrepresenting yourself to get more matches.

As someone who has online dated off and on over 6 years over probably 10 different sites, if you don’t realize that most people on online dating are misrepresenting themselves to a degree, you haven’t done much online dating. Whether it’s shaving years off an age, adding inches to height, wearing a ball cap in photos to hide baldness, using photos that are filtered or professionally (or not) edited, saying they’re a non-smoker when really they’re a social smoker - it’s all people minimizing what makes them insecure/unappealing. It’s fine if OP doesn’t want to date someone the age that their person has turned out to be, but realize that it’s unlikely the next profile or the next 10 you run across is going to be 100% accurate upfront. That’s just not the norm. It’s not so much about dishonesty -it’s more about insecurity.

I've been online dating since 2016 and find it incredibly easy to spot them all: catfish, fatfish, hatfish and oldfish. Never once been burned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found out 6 months in a dating my partner but he lied about his age. He told me he was 40 and he was almost 42.

Didn't you google him before 6 months? It's pretty easy to find out someone's age.

No I didn't. 26 year old me was a bit naive.

Eh 26 dating 40 or 42 is gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much? I once went on an internet date with someone who had shaved 10+ years off his age. He had a lot of other issues as well ...

I think sometimes people do this specifically in the context of dating apps because of a perception that people unfairly do age or height cutoffs. My DH added an inch to his height for this reason (from 5-7 to 5-8). He's not perfect, but he's definitely not a liar.

There's zero point in adding an inch, just like there is zero point in subtracting a year. Small lies are stupid. A mean who is 5'7 looks the same as one who is 5'8.

[Anonymous]

Who cares about their age if they look hot? And they are healthy? And their STD screening came back clean?

[Anonymous]

I have been saying that I am a few years older than what I am all my life because it makes people tell me that I look good for my age!

- Woman here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who cares about their age if they look hot? And they are healthy? And their STD screening came back clean?

I care!

The question is why do you care so much about misrepresenting yourself?

If someone doesn’t want to date you because you’re too fat, too old, too blonde, too brunette, not educated enough, not tall enough, why do you want to start a relationship by implicitly saying their preferences are wrong and they should bend their boundaries for you? That’s controlling and narcissistic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much? I once went on an internet date with someone who had shaved 10+ years off his age. He had a lot of other issues as well ...

I think sometimes people do this specifically in the context of dating apps because of a perception that people unfairly do age or height cutoffs. My DH added an inch to his height for this reason (from 5-7 to 5-8). He's not perfect, but he's definitely not a liar.

There's zero point in adding an inch, just like there is zero point in subtracting a year. Small lies are stupid. A mean who is 5'7 looks the same as one who is 5'8.

Haha

In my experience all guys do this. Even tall guys. My DH is 6’1” which is tall by any standard — but he says he’s 6’2” all the time. I don’t get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I originally went into this thread thinking no big deal, but the more I think about it, the more I think this is a deal breaker. It is a small, stupid, inconsequential thing to lie about. If you lie about small stupid and inconsequential things, you will lie about much more important things.

I agree, and the "I want to get past filters" justification makes it worse to me, not better. If someone says they don't want to date you it's kind of gross to try to "sneak" around that. There's a difference between casting a wide net and misrepresenting yourself to get more matches.

Not really. IRL we don't make it a strict rule not to date over an exact age. It's more of a fluid scale and the number depends on personality and looks. If someone says they are 39 instead of 40 and this info generates them more matches, they will get approached more only if they look 39, instead of 40. So men would absolutely date a good looking woman who is 40 but claims she's 39, because in reality they don't see the difference.

Dating generators are exact, humans are not. It really depends on a case.
But trying to get away with more than 2 years or not admitting it immediately is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Im 39 though i look 24. I get called a catfish and had my profile deleted several times. So wtf do I do? Im going to start saying im 24 and leave it at that.

[Anonymous]

I dated a liar who told me his age was about 10 years less than actual age. I thought he just aged badly. He lied about other things, so I quit him. He since has been divorced twice. So I would say lying about age is a red flag, run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who cares about their age if they look hot? And they are healthy? And their STD screening came back clean?

Tendency to lie is a huge deal breaker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who cares about their age if they look hot? And they are healthy? And their STD screening came back clean?

Tendency to lie is a huge deal breaker.

Guy I met online told the truth about all his details age, height at 5ft11 though he could have rounded to 6ft, his profession, where he lived, his family was more well off than mine and his weight though he had one of those always slim body types. He lied and cheated a lot and cheated for months and lied how far he went with them. So him being truthful at first still made him a pathological liar later.

Now before him i was seeing a guy online and catfished him. I was 28 chunky and poor though not ugly. He was well off. I told him the truth and he cheated right after.