Lied about age

[Anonymous]

If it’s just shaving off a year or perhaps two to make it under certain age filters (eg saying they are 39 when they are 40) it’s not a big deal. Most people lie or at least strongly de-emphasize whatever makes them self-conscious/they feel limits their chances when dating online. If I guy is 5’5, he’s going to say he’s 5’7” and wear cowboy boots on the first date. People hide far darker things than this. Unless you’ve caught him in other lies, or it was more than few years, I wouldn’t break up over it - though I do wish he’d told you after a few dates not a few months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found out 6 months in a dating my partner but he lied about his age. He told me he was 40 and he was almost 42.

Didn't you google him before 6 months? It's pretty easy to find out someone's age.

No I didn't. 26 year old me was a bit naive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Deal-breaker. I once stayed with a man who had lied about his age, and he ended up lying about a lot more serious things.

This!

My ex lied about his age when we first met. I married him but had to deal with years of cheating and gaslighting before finally divorcing. We have kids together and I still catch him lying to me about things. It’s a character flaw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you found out someone you met from a dating app, and have been seeing for 3 months lied about their age, would it be a dealbreaker? Other than this, everything else has gone really well.

This is actually a close call IMO. Everyone kind of spins things on their dating profiles, including to get past some pretty hard filters that get used without a lot of thought, and I think that’s all in the game so long as it’s kind of minor and quickly disclosed. Saying you are 39 when you are really 41 for example. Three months is too long for disclosure, but you can see how people would be tempted not to rock the boat if things were going well. If it were me, I would only hold it against the person if the lie was really material. “False in one, false in all” isn’t really applicable to this situation in my view.

[Anonymous]

A year or two on the profile is not so bad but they have to cop to it on the first date. Otherwise, no.

[Anonymous]

I had an ex lie to me about his age.....
I sadly found out his real age after I had fallen in love w/him and it was really tough at first to leave him.

But it IS very true that if a person lies to you about one thing - it is highly likely that they will lie to you about a plethora of other stuff which I have seen in my life more times than I care to remember....

[Anonymous]

I personally would be turned off if I found out a guy lied to me about his age.

I am fifty-one and have NEVER lied about my age.
I am proud of it actually.
I feel good about myself at this stage & carry a lot of wisdom.

I personally feel that being ashamed of one’s age is a huge sign that a person is very insecure w/themselves.

[Anonymous]

The age difference isn't a big deal but the person is capable of lying is.

[Anonymous]

I’d give them 50 lashings with a wet noodle.

[Anonymous]

How did you find out? Did he tell you or did you discover it?

OP, I think that it's a huge problem that they lied to you for 3 months either way, but if he didn't even tell you then you have a nut job on your hands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had an ex lie to me about his age.....
I sadly found out his real age after I had fallen in love w/him and it was really tough at first to leave him.

But it IS very true that if a person lies to you about one thing - it is highly likely that they will lie to you about a plethora of other stuff which I have seen in my life more times than I care to remember....

how many years was he shaving off?

[Anonymous]

I’d have to think about it, in consideration of the whole picture. How did they tell me/or not, reasoning behind it, if the age difference bothered me, and if anything else didn’t fit. It could be a stupid move, or a more diabolical one. More than likely I’d part ways, i prefer honesty and self acceptance.

I’ve had guys tell me they’re both younger and older than they are.

[Anonymous]

One guy I dated lied about his birthday! Said it was Valentine's Day, but was really two days before. So weird.

[Anonymous]

Lying, especially for that long a time, is a big deal.

I gave someone a pass once for lying, thinking that he had lied about a specific event. Years later, I found out that there was much more extensive lying, that went on for a much longer time.

Sorry, lying is a huge character fault and some people who lie get so in the habit that they just lie about things without even thinking about it. If I were dating now, I’d make sure that the other person was aware that honesty is extremely important to me.

[Anonymous]

I originally went into this thread thinking no big deal, but the more I think about it, the more I think this is a deal breaker. It is a small, stupid, inconsequential thing to lie about. If you lie about small stupid and inconsequential things, you will lie about much more important things.