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Anonymous wrote:I also wonder when we're going to get around to it not being ok to casually accuse men of being gay if they don't strictly conform to the US frat guy model of what it means to be a guy.
Just some underlying misogyny to unpack there.
You are using the word misogyny incorrectly. Say homophobic.
No. You don’t get it.
When you make feminine qualities in a man something that are somehow embarrassing, to be avoided, a sign you are gay if you have a wife and kids.
When the worst thing a boy or man can do is have feminine qualities (ie toxic masculinity). Yet girls are encouraged all day long to have stereotypically male qualities and in fact it’s celebrated.
At the root of all that is a dislike of women and traditionally feminine qualities.
Eh, I think drag culture is arguably minstrel misogyny - it’s mocking and degrading women. Here, her husband isn’t effeminate - he’s just very California and doesn’t fit it in outdoorsy Utah and has no practical construction know-how. So, it is incorrect to use dislike of McGhee or the lack of sexual chemistry with his spouse as an example of misogyny. It isn’t. It might be homophobic- b/c there is an implication that being gay is less than.
So he’s being accused of being gay because he isn’t in construction and not outdoorsy enough (???). But this is no commentary on his masculinity. Mmkay.
It is not negative commentary on women or womenhood - thus, not misogyny...yikes.
Misogyny is contempt of women.
Men in this country are told over and over from the time they are young boys that stereotypical feminine qualities, interests, tendencies (like being too emotional) are not "cool" (if they're lucky) or they're told it's flat out not allowed for them. Why is this the worst thing a guy could be? Contempt of women. We as women internalize it too.
Assuming any man who doesn't conform to male standards is gay, which happens regularly, is not some objective fact check devoid of meaning. Please. It's a school yard way of taking him down a notch. It's a socially acceptable way to call out a guy who doesn't seem masculine enough for you. Internalized misogyny.