At what age would you let your children's boyfriends/girlfriends to sleep over?

[Anonymous]

I clicked through thinking "hmm, I don't know, my kid is still young, definitely 18, maybe younger ..."

I'm kind of baffled by these responses, but it does make sense to me now why my mother-in-law thought my spouse and I should have separate bedrooms the first couple of times we stayed. We were 24 and living together and I was completely bamboozled. That was 20 years ago -- I'm very surprised to see these attitudes persist!

[Anonymous]

I would think this problem would solve itself simply by the child feeling too embarrassed to even consider the idea. I know I would've felt weird about it even at age 21. Feels like a total invasion of my parents' place and I wouldn't want my parents to be even thinking about us having sex. I would be mortified.

[Anonymous]

Hell no. Don't try to be "cool mom"

[Anonymous]

After college, if the relationship is a commitment.

But everyone is different.

[Anonymous]

21:35 here, my kids are 23 and 20.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they are financially independent adults in a serious relationship.

Your DD isn't an adult because she's still relying on you for college funding and a place to live--even though she is 21.

If she was 25, completely independent, visiting with a serious boyfriend, and asked to have one room-- fine.

I'm not at all a prude--it's really a decorum issue imo. They can have separate rooms and sneak back and forth in the middle of the night while you pretend not to notice.

What does money have to do with it?

[Anonymous]

18.

[Anonymous]

If he’s a gentleman, he’ll respect my home and sleep in the nice guest room in the basement. Welcome to stay over; not welcome in my daughter’s room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would think this problem would solve itself simply by the child feeling too embarrassed to even consider the idea. I know I would've felt weird about it even at age 21. Feels like a total invasion of my parents' place and I wouldn't want my parents to be even thinking about us having sex. I would be mortified.

Thank you! Who are these trashy parents encouraging their 18 year olds’ boyfriends/girlfriends to sleep in the same room, and their even trashier kids who expect this? People should have a bit more respect for others’ personal spaces and rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Put a ring on it and yea have all the sex you want, discreetly

+1. I really feel the same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who think they can control whether or not other people have sex in their house are crazy. My DH and I almost always have sex when we stay in someone else's house. It's new and exciting!

Same.

For my adult kids, I’d say 20. I have a 19 year old in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the replies.

Just wanted to get various points of view.

Sleepover it is

Just make sure their rooms are bit away or have good sound proofing.

We let our 19 year old DD and her boyfriend in the same room. They had no concept of how loud they were and we can hear everything. Pretty traumatic for our 16 year old DD and us. We all had to head down to basement in the middle of the night. Worst and most embarrassing night ever.

[Anonymous]

You would think you would not want to hear your parents do it, but I am telling you it is 100x worse if it your DD.

[Anonymous]

Yes, this is the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the replies.

Just wanted to get various points of view.

Sleepover it is

Just make sure their rooms are bit away or have good sound proofing.

We let our 19 year old DD and her boyfriend in the same room. They had no concept of how loud they were and we can hear everything. Pretty traumatic for our 16 year old DD and us. We all had to head down to basement in the middle of the night. Worst and most embarrassing night ever.

Gross.