| I would not be okay with it ever. I am in my early 40s. My kids are in elementary. |
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When they were living outside the home on their own means.
IE, if they were coming home from the holidays at 23 with their boyfriend ok. But not coming home from college. When they are launched essentially. |
| Just as a data point, when I was 23 and we went to my boyfriend's house to visit, his mother tried to put us in two different rooms. My boyfriend smiled, declined, and we went to a hotel, and cut our visit short by about 3 days. We married later, but the way she treated us on that visit has always colored our relationship with her. Respect your children's relationships and treat them like the adults they are. |
| Nope from me too. My house my rules while I am paying tuition. My 28 year old currently lives with his girlfriend. At this point, I am okay that they’re share a room in my house. It would also depend if there were younger children (or Grandma) in the house. |
It's sad you haven't matured beyond 23. |
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Maybe if they were in a serious relationship.
Not at all if younger siblings in the home. |
| My husband and I dated for 5 years before we got married. We were in college/grad school/working but our parents lived on opposite coasts. When we visited our parents homes we slept in separate bedrooms. I never expected anything other than separate bedrooms. |
I don't even agree with the mom, but it's pretty ridiculous to let one thing color your entire relationship. You sound pretty vindictive and judgmental. Even if it were a mistake (I mean, it's her house, so whatever), most of us learn to forgive mistakes. She raised your husband, for goodness's sakes, you can't extend her any grace? What should happen if one day you do something that one of your kids or their partner doesn't like? Be forever 'colored' by it? Grow up, OP. |
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"But Mom! All my friends are doing it!"
It doesn't work at 12, but maybe it flies at 23. Make up your own mind, OP. People go either way on this based on a whole bunch of factors. |
Nope, it was indicative of how she's always seen us. In our 40s now, but she's never respected us as adults on equal footing to her. She always wants to call the shots, simply because her son is her son. She doesn't recognize us as people with responsibilities and preferences of our own. |
| I wonder how many of the “no way” posters have kids in college or older. I’d let my 18 year college student old sleep in the same room with his girlfriend if he brought one home. But we had the birds and the bees talk a long time ago. |
Haha! When I was in my late 20's living in an apartment (1st floor thank goodness) and my niece would stay with me, my boyfriend would "leave", climb in the window and in the am, climb out the window and knock on the door to be let in, in the am. |
| College. They are having sleepovers while at college, so not a big deal to allow it at home. They are adults now. |
| 25. After BF and I bought our house together. Engaged about 6months later, married the next year. We met and began dating when I was 20. |
| I'm shocked at how many posters are clutching their pearls about their adult children possibly having sex. Average age of losing virginity is 18. Sex isn't dirty or devious. Make sure your kids are protected by talking to them about it and move on. Sheesh. |