At what age would you let your children's boyfriends/girlfriends to sleep over?

[Anonymous]

^+1
I respect my kids and trust them to follow our rules; they love and respect us, and so respect the rules in our home. Some parents and kids actually do have relationships like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd let him come stay and put him in another room. And then LOOK THE OTHER WAY when they are sneaking around.

This is what I would do. Separate rooms - it know in the middle of the night they will sneak into one another’s rooms. Pretend not to notice in the morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the replies.

Just wanted to get various points of view.

Sleepover it is

Just make sure their rooms are bit away or have good sound proofing.

We let our 19 year old DD and her boyfriend in the same room. They had no concept of how loud they were and we can hear everything. Pretty traumatic for our 16 year old DD and us. We all had to head down to basement in the middle of the night. Worst and most embarrassing night ever.

I'm traumatized just reading this. If there are younger siblings in the house, then I wouldn't feel comfortable with it. TBH, I'd put them in separate rooms unless they're already living together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just as a data point, when I was 23 and we went to my boyfriend's house to visit, his mother tried to put us in two different rooms. My boyfriend smiled, declined, and we went to a hotel, and cut our visit short by about 3 days. We married later, but the way she treated us on that visit has always colored our relationship with her. Respect your children's relationships and treat them like the adults they are.

It's sad you haven't matured beyond 23.

+1

Yep. Her house, her rules. He really should have known his mom better than he did, anyway. I know my parents would never permit it, and i told my boyfriend beforehand.

[Anonymous]

Never. If you're not married they can't stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just as a data point, when I was 23 and we went to my boyfriend's house to visit, his mother tried to put us in two different rooms. My boyfriend smiled, declined, and we went to a hotel, and cut our visit short by about 3 days. We married later, but the way she treated us on that visit has always colored our relationship with her. Respect your children's relationships and treat them like the adults they are.

I would have no problem with having a colored relationship from you two. The relationship can be respected. But, a parent doesn't have to condone stuff that goes against their morals and values.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the replies.

Just wanted to get various points of view.

Sleepover it is

Just make sure their rooms are bit away or have good sound proofing.

We let our 19 year old DD and her boyfriend in the same room. They had no concept of how loud they were and we can hear everything. Pretty traumatic for our 16 year old DD and us. We all had to head down to basement in the middle of the night. Worst and most embarrassing night ever.

I'm traumatized just reading this. If there are younger siblings in the house, then I wouldn't feel comfortable with it. TBH, I'd put them in separate rooms unless they're already living together.

I agree. Both of them are extermely rude and disrespectul for doing this, and these parents are idiots for heading down to the basement. Are they running the house or these kids? In my house, the boy would have unparked his ass out of the house by the next moring and the girl would have gotten a lecture.

[Anonymous]

The one time I slept with my girlfriend at my parents' house, we were about 24. We slept in the basement on a pull-out couch, far away from the earshot of anyone sleeping upstairs. We could've gotten away with some pretty loud activity. But the thought didn't even cross my mind. It was my childhood home. Granted, it's a different situation because we were just visiting and sleeping together at our own homes. Where the OP has someone home from college so there is no other place for time for them to get it on.

Still though, I would be mortified to do anything more than quiet foreplay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD wants us to let her boyfriend come and stay over in the same room for a few days. She is 21 and her college is in DL. A couple of her friends are doing the same thing it seems.

Is this fairly common?

I would ask for respect and to not sleep together at my house. If they can’t do this then they are welcome to stay at a hotel and visit us during the day at my house.

[Anonymous]

Dont you guys remember your sex drive when you are 19 or 20?

2x or 3x a day and you are still hoping for more. Good days!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just as a data point, when I was 23 and we went to my boyfriend's house to visit, his mother tried to put us in two different rooms. My boyfriend smiled, declined, and we went to a hotel, and cut our visit short by about 3 days. We married later, but the way she treated us on that visit has always colored our relationship with her. Respect your children's relationships and treat them like the adults they are.

You have no idea how stupid you (and your DH) sound, do you?

I actually think the critics of the poster sound kinda stupid.

[Anonymous]

I'd let them sleep together.

I am really surprised by the number of prudes responding to this thread, many of whom are probably hypocrites. Premarital sex has been very common in the USA since the 1960s. So for many people under age 25, Mom and Dad and even Grandma and Grandpa were probably doing it.

[Anonymous]

^ I am really surprised by the number of people responding to this thread who lack basic reasoning ability. Parents who don’t want their teens/young adults sleeping together in their home does not mean those parents are prudes. People have offered a lot of different reasons for why they are not comfortable with the situation, and most of them had nothing to do with Pre-marital sex. People have different value systems - it’s really not that hard to understand.

[Anonymous]

Knowing premarital sex happens, and btw not being against it, still doesn't mean young people need to do it in their parent's home with parents there.

[Anonymous]

At what age would I let my son/daughter play husband/ride under my roof? Well, I take trash to the curb - I don’t bring it inside. IOW, when they are married.