Men - tell me if my career and income are negatives when it comes to dating

[Anonymous]

Your wealth is not the issue.

[Anonymous]

“Neither helps nor hurts your dating chances with any man who has his own success going on.”

I’m a woman in a similar situation (though don’t have a second home), and this is really true. I’ve dated guys who have said they’re intimidated by my house. Met a number of potential gold diggers. Have had some announce to me before even getting to know me their opinions on my work-life balance, with a number telling me that I should become a fed. And occasionally have guys disappear when they hear what I do or where I’ve traveled.

But the ones who are confident and feel good about what they’ve accomplished in life, like our $180k friend above, don’t think like this. They’re open to getting to know me and forging a relationship without preconceived notions.

[Anonymous]

A woman with money is preferable to a woman with no money but she needs more than that to be seen as attractive. Most successful men are not going to be intimidated by a woman with money unless the woman harps on her wealth too much.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it is a negative provided that you're not doing something like biglaw that demands a lot of hours and requires you to be always on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it is a negative provided that you're not doing something like biglaw that demands a lot of hours and requires you to be always on.

Wait, is there a job that allows you to make $500k/year that is NOT like that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s probably your looks. If you are hot, guys won’t care.

100% not true. There are way too many guys around here who work for the government. It’s all fine until they find out your kids go to private or boarding school or pull up in front of the 2+ million house in the very nice neighborhood. Then you get one of two things: initially insulting “the rich” but then happy when you pay for things or constant comments on their frugality. I’ve been at this 5 years (although I did lose the weekend place to the ex in the divorce; I bought him out of the primary), and no one, even people I have been friends with first has been comfortable unless they make a similar amount, and most of those guys my age want to date 15 years younger because they can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 32, no kids, never been married. My BF (38) jokes with me that he could date a 1k/hour lawyer, however, he found women like that always compete with him. Men, to a certain extent, don't care about your job. Have a job that pays your bills and isn't embarrassing, beyond that if they also make money they just find it annoying.

Uh, your BF is a sexist douche. To your bolded, women like that do not "always compete with him". All women making over $150k a year are not competing with your BF as a core personality trait. Your BF is imaging that women ALL these women are competing with him because he has regressive ideas about women.

Hope you have fun being a mommy.

Interesting how you make an assumption about my salary. Also interesting how you make assumptions about the people he's dated.

You said your BF thinks ALL women making a lot of money are competing with him. Since he is with you, I'm assuming he does not think you are like this. Ergo, you don't make much money and he looks forward to you being a mommy. It's pretty straight forward. Check in with us in 10 years.

No I did not.

Please, enlighten us.

[Anonymous]

What I have been hearing from men, is that driven, career women are too masculine. And that the masculine behaviors are a turnoff.

However, in the OP’s case, it sounds like these men may be concerned that they cannot provide the lifestyle to which she is accustomed. Some men fear that a woman who significantly out earns them will eventually begin to resent them.