Should I have a come to Jesus talk with my friend about her dislike for public schools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are wrong and your friend is right.

the I've got mine attitude and who cares about other kids is insanely disordered.

You need to do some serious introspection and perhaps some therapy to understand why you are so incredibly selfish.

Did you also go to a very highly rated public school because being selfish is definitely a bi-product of segregation.

+1 You aren’t an equality warrior if your kids go to Whitman or Langley. Sorry.

Right, but her friend doesn't look hypocritical at all sending her kids to private, does she.

The friend is not hypocritical. She is very clear that she dislikes public schools.

She is, but she says (if I understood correctly) that she doesn't like them bc they are not inclusive. Well are private schools inclusive? Racially and ability-wise? no.

I think there's nothing wrong with sending your child to private if that's what works best for your child. But it's hypocritical to blame public schools for lack of inclusivity and then send your child to private schools, where exclusivity is the name of the game.

Sigh. Her friend is upset that public schools, which have to serve all students, are not doing so. Private schools don’t advertise that they are inclusive of children with learning disabilities, generally speaking. It’s fine if that upsets you, but stop acting like private schools have an obligation to educate everyone. They don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are wrong and your friend is right.

the I've got mine attitude and who cares about other kids is insanely disordered.

You need to do some serious introspection and perhaps some therapy to understand why you are so incredibly selfish.

Did you also go to a very highly rated public school because being selfish is definitely a bi-product of segregation.

Good grief, what an idiotic post. Telling OP to get therapy and then tossing out the dog-whistle re: racism? You're trying to stir the pot, PP.

Fail.

OP, the basic issue is: Friend has a job that she does not leave behind when socializing. The job causes her to stay on her soapbox even when the topic is not one that others are up for discussing.

Does that sum it up?

Drop all the thoughts about how good your schools are (and I agree, public schools can and do serve many kids very well, but not all). Make this super simple: It's about how a friend cannot leave her work behind when socializing. How to handle that? Always see each other when there is something else to focus on, like an activity or outing. (If it's over Zoom, stop trying to "catch up" and instead play a Zoom trivia game with your larger group of friends etc.). If people start talking about schools, which are after all on everyone's minds right now, then either steer things back to the activity or other stuff, or bow out. "I've promised Kid we'll do X in a few minutes so I'm heading out."

I'm sure your friend does great work and does see a lot of families that are screwed by the public schools. But her application of that to all public schools everywhere as being horrible is not realistic. And her insistence that private is better is very grating; not everyone has that option like she does.

Still, she isn't going to change, so I'd start deflecting to other topics you do have in common. If you don't have a lot else in common....I'd start seeing more of other friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are wrong and your friend is right.

the I've got mine attitude and who cares about other kids is insanely disordered.

You need to do some serious introspection and perhaps some therapy to understand why you are so incredibly selfish.

Did you also go to a very highly rated public school because being selfish is definitely a bi-product of segregation.

Good grief, what an idiotic post. Telling OP to get therapy and then tossing out the dog-whistle re: racism? You're trying to stir the pot, PP.

Fail.

OP, the basic issue is: Friend has a job that she does not leave behind when socializing. The job causes her to stay on her soapbox even when the topic is not one that others are up for discussing.

Does that sum it up?

Drop all the thoughts about how good your schools are (and I agree, public schools can and do serve many kids very well, but not all). Make this super simple: It's about how a friend cannot leave her work behind when socializing. How to handle that? Always see each other when there is something else to focus on, like an activity or outing. (If it's over Zoom, stop trying to "catch up" and instead play a Zoom trivia game with your larger group of friends etc.). If people start talking about schools, which are after all on everyone's minds right now, then either steer things back to the activity or other stuff, or bow out. "I've promised Kid we'll do X in a few minutes so I'm heading out."

I'm sure your friend does great work and does see a lot of families that are screwed by the public schools. But her application of that to all public schools everywhere as being horrible is not realistic. And her insistence that private is better is very grating; not everyone has that option like she does.

Still, she isn't going to change, so I'd start deflecting to other topics you do have in common. If you don't have a lot else in common....I'd start seeing more of other friends.

Her friend has an expertise. It gives her insight into something you don’t understand. It does not fulfill your self serving needs. It makes you feel bad so you want to tell her she is wrong.

But she isn’t ... just check yourself .. a therapist can help you not take things personally when you can’t admit you are wrong. It will help in your marriage too.

[Anonymous]

Omg 🙄

[Anonymous]

I’d get tired of the same conversation over and over, too. Doesn’t matter if she’s right. If she constantly talks about a single topic, it’s annoying. Change the subject as best you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know that it's hard to be friends with someone who hates the schools that you send your kids to. Special education attorneys get exposed to those whom the district is not serving well. This skews her view. She is who she is. It would be great if she eventually recognizes that many children actually are being well-served.

Where is your data for this? ...

These posts are getting so old. Is Covid boredom causing an uptick in them or...? Anyway, people don't need to "provide their data" when posting their opinions on dc mom forum. Try up think of it as a casual conversation, because you do these posts a lot and it's not a good look.

The data is the fact that attorneys who represent people suing the school district which happens on a very regular basis represent people who are not served by the public schools. The schools regularly settle and send such children to private schools. They have to be sued to do this and sometimes invite such low suits. Try not to be so very dumb about the world around you. Perhaps private school would have allowed you a better grasp of basic facts re our education system.

Look, bottom line, public school is fine for those with minor issues or major issues. The vast majority of kids are in the middle and need intensive and smart support they will never ever get in public school. Ever. It serves the average. Or the very above or below. So, move on and stop having a stake in a game you aren’t even playing. That is what is obnoxious.