Should I have a come to Jesus talk with my friend about her dislike for public schools?

[Anonymous]

If you like your friend, you agree to leave this topic out of your conversations.

You understand that you come from two different perspectives and you both deserve to feel pride in your choices.

If you can't get past this, you are not truly friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Private schools (except privates specifically for kids with SNs) don’t even admit kids who have 504s/IEPs in public schools. Public is far from perfect but privates don’t even try.

My child has Dyslexia and is in private school

My kid is autistic and is in a mainstream private school. He was accepted after we provided his extensive IEP and we had a conversation about what the school could and could not do.

My other child's best friend is dyslexic and also goes to private school.

It's true that when you have a child with disabilities you have to work harder to find a good fit, but it's not true that private schools don't take kids with disabilities. At least the school that my child goes to is more inclusive and welcoming to students with disabilities than our public school ever was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Private schools (except privates specifically for kids with SNs) don’t even admit kids who have 504s/IEPs in public schools. Public is far from perfect but privates don’t even try.

You have no idea what you are talking about, and I suspect don't have any experience with kids with disabilities.

My children attend a competitive private school. They were admitted in later grades with full IEPs. Their IEPs have been with them for most of their academic careers. Their current school is not specifically a school for kids with SNs. However, they have a program to support kids with disabilities, and many exceptional students are simultaneously seriously disabled. My kids have been far better served in the private school than the nonsense that passed for support in the public schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Private schools (except privates specifically for kids with SNs) don’t even admit kids who have 504s/IEPs in public schools. Public is far from perfect but privates don’t even try.

My child has Dyslexia and is in private school

My kid is autistic and is in a mainstream private school. He was accepted after we provided his extensive IEP and we had a conversation about what the school could and could not do.

My other child's best friend is dyslexic and also goes to private school.

It's true that when you have a child with disabilities you have to work harder to find a good fit, but it's not true that private schools don't take kids with disabilities. At least the school that my child goes to is more inclusive and welcoming to students with disabilities than our public school ever was.

Same here. And my child doesn't attend a "SN" school. The difference in support between the private and the public is like night and day. My child is finally learning and has stopped referring to himself as "stupid," which was accepted in the public school. Academically he has gone from disinterested to asking to take summer school and asking to do out of school learning for interest.

I have so many horrifying stories from our "good" school district, and so many friends with disabled kids who pulled them out for homeschooling or private.

[Anonymous]

Most public schools suck. If yours doesn't, that's awesome. My neighbor has hired lawyers, therapists, etc. and had to FIGHT to get her kid the services he needed that the school is required to offer but was doing so inadequately. For example: they said he was doing "fine" and passed him grade to grade. The kid, while an above average auditory learner, could_not_read.

Another friend's 3rd grade daughter kept getting in trouble for "skipping" classes at a public school. Turns out, she was getting beat up and bullied in the bathroom. She "skipped" class because she had to either walk home or to a nearby market to use the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

My friend sends her kids to the most coveted public school in the area that wins public school awards, etc. Her 2nd grader was choked to unconsciousness on the playground and they did not even tell her ....she found out when a PE teacher asked how he was doing since the incident. Turns out the “choker” has attacked other kids but the school won’t pay for a shadow for this disturbed child or even put her kid in another class because of the cost and the bureaucracy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Private schools (except privates specifically for kids with SNs) don’t even admit kids who have 504s/IEPs in public schools. Public is far from perfect but privates don’t even try.

My child has Dyslexia and is in private school

My kid is autistic and is in a mainstream private school. He was accepted after we provided his extensive IEP and we had a conversation about what the school could and could not do.

My other child's best friend is dyslexic and also goes to private school.

It's true that when you have a child with disabilities you have to work harder to find a good fit, but it's not true that private schools don't take kids with disabilities. At least the school that my child goes to is more inclusive and welcoming to students with disabilities than our public school ever was.

Which schools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not reading that.

Not OP. Paragraphs would've made this easier to read, but you didn't have to reply if you weren't going to read it.

I'm also not reading it. In addition to the ridiculous block of text, any missive that starts with "So" is likely to make me dumber after reading.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are wrong and your friend is right.

the I've got mine attitude and who cares about other kids is insanely disordered.

You need to do some serious introspection and perhaps some therapy to understand why you are so incredibly selfish.

Did you also go to a very highly rated public school because being selfish is definitely a bi-product of segregation.

Right, because private school have always been known as bastions of inclusion. Ha!

No. Some have their own form of self segregation... it depends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one except people completely disconnected from reality can go on rants in your presence without your permission.

OP, there is a way to make someone understand that their rants aren't welcome (even if they are completely correct). The British excel at this. You have a variety of tactics at your disposal. Check your email. Start texting people. Change the subject. Do not respond. Say "hmmm" a lot. Respond with something like "I adore this skirt -where did you get it?"

In short, if you don't want to keep hearing these rants, you have to make it unrewarding and awkward for the ranter.

Of course, there is always a possibility that your circle doesn't think they are unwelcome, and actually enjoys hearing them. In this case, I'm afraid, you're out of luck.

I needed this. Thank you.

-frequent recipient of well-meaning rants

[Anonymous]

She’s right. You’re a fool. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, I have a friend who is a Special education attorney. We met years ago through a mutual friend, as we were both invited to her bookclub event. Anyways, I have always admired my friend for being outspoken and passionate. If I have to admit, I was also glad to have someone who could help us if we ever needed any legal help with school. Luckily we haven’t had to, although I know a few moms we network with in the bookclub group we have consulted her. My friend’s kids go to a private school. She doesn’t announce it but her loath for public schools is very apparent if ANY topic on education is brought up. The only reason she even mentioned they don’t attend public schools is because someone new to the group asked her if it’s weird that she helps fight against schools that her kids attend and she quipped, “they don’t!” My kids attend a top rated public school. While, I know years ago it made changes because of complaints filed by parents, the school has always been ranked high in our state. You can’t mention rankings when we get together without my friend stating that they get the rank because of fraud and of course she has to bring in the lawsuit that occurred. Basically, the lawsuit made the school change the reading curriculum, as it wasn’t effective for kids with dyslexia. She will go on rants and basically I’ve started warning my unaware mom friends who meet her to not being up any topic about school because she will go all out about how terrible public schools are. I do not want to lose our friendship and I admire what she does. She does a lot of pro bono cases and helps parents have a fight against the school if their kids’ needs aren’t being met, but I am also over here thinking she knows better. I get that her bias is in fighting public schools all day, but shouldn’t she be more cognizant about what she says if she knows most of her friends don’t send their kids to private schools? We’re from an area where top schools are public so a lot of good suburbs around here. She says unless they too change the reading curriculum within those highly ranked districts, they’re as crappy as the one where I live, because kids with dyslexia’s needs are not being met. She said if you went to really close the gap, find a way to help the majority and not just some kids. Anyways, how do I bring up that there is a time and place and if someone’s utopia of a school district is and location is a public school -even with its flaws, a good public, to just let us have our day ?..I don’t want her to always correct people and make it known how awful their suburb is because they don’t help all kids. That’s life. Life isn’t fair.

Blalblahblihblahblahbluhblahblahmeh.

[Anonymous]

I have a relative who works in education, mostly advising public school teachers. Her own kids didn't go to public school except for a short time, and she frequently asks when we're going to move our kids to private school.

On the one hand, I find it totally hypocritical. On the other, I guess she has seen enough of the bad that she has a strong opinion against public schools.

In your case, I can't tell if your friend is criticizing public schools based on "rankings" and "academics," which some of your post discusses, or ability to actually close the achievement gap, etc. I think it's fine to criticize the achievement gap (it's true), but she should recognize herself that sending her wealthier kids to private is contributing to this problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know that it's hard to be friends with someone who hates the schools that you send your kids to. Special education attorneys get exposed to those whom the district is not serving well. This skews her view. She is who she is. It would be great if she eventually recognizes that many children actually are being well-served.

Where is your data for this? ...

These posts are getting so old. Is Covid boredom causing an uptick in them or...? Anyway, people don't need to "provide their data" when posting their opinions on dc mom forum. Try up think of it as a casual conversation, because you do these posts a lot and it's not a good look.

[Anonymous]

I heard that they teach paragraph structure in private schools.